Relationship Basic Library
Relationship and Marriage
Intimacy and Romance
Wisdom for Relationship Success
by Emma K. Viglucci, CFT, LMFT, CIT
It is very easy to make excuses for our shortcomings and to blame our circumstances and others for the dissatisfaction we experience. In fact it is so easy, that this is our default MO. Why are we disowning our self? Why are we giving our power away? It is time to reclaim your Self. It is time to show up in your relationship and your life. It is time to stop giving your power away and start using it to create the relationship and life you want. Yes, this is easier said than done, but not impossible. Get to it!
Some people believe relationships shouldn’t require “work” and I agree. “Work” carries such a negative connotation! I prefer to say nurturing, caring and attentiveness. Relationships should not be neglected or taken for granted. They require relationship insight and know-how, skills, tools, and a host of relationship “tricks” to ensure its liveliness, satisfaction and success.
The list below provides a basic collection of ideas on how to start enjoying a MetroRelationship™. Go ahead, read up and start applying these concepts today!!
1. Don’t make assumptions or mind read! And, don’t assign motives!
2. Take responsibility for what you are contributing that is keeping you stuck
3. Co-Create your relationship – don’t take over or give your power away
4. Check-in with your partner about their outer and inner world
5. Understand where your partner is coming from and attend to their needs
6. Stay “current” and “synchronize”
7. Have joint projects, activities, hobbies, ventures
8. Create and maintain Positive Nurturing and Caring Rituals
9. Have dates and other fun together
10. Gift your partner what they desire, not what you want… Show love the way your partner wants to receive love.
11. BONUS: If you are dissatisfied, feeling stuck or stagnant, can’t get your relationship needs met, have repeating unresolved arguments and issues – GET HELP! Don’t wait till more damage is done – it gets harder to “fix the damage” the longer it goes inappropriately addressed.