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Kickstart Concepts

Top 10 Insights to Stop the Codependency

by Emma K. Viglucci, CFT, LMFT, CIT

It is very easy to make excuses for our shortcomings and to blame our circumstances and others for the dissatisfaction we experience. In fact it is so easy, that this is our default MO. Why are we disowning our self? Why are we giving our power away? It is time to reclaim your Self. It is time to show up in your relationship and your life. It is time to stop giving your power away and start using it to create the relationship and life you want. Yes, this is easier said than done, but not impossible. Get to it!

You can do this by:

1.Not reacting to your surroundings and the people in your life. Take a step back and gain perspective.

2.Monitor your feelings and moderate them to your situation – exaggerated or minimized feelings are reactive, not responsive, promoting more dissatisfaction.

3.Stop worrying about what your partner is doing or not doing, and focus on what you are doing instead.

4.Stop trying to please, doing always what is expected of you, caretaking for everyone, imposing unrealistic expectations on yourself and others, trying to be perfect, and worrying about others’ impressions of you.

5.Clearly express realistic expectations of others and allow them to meet them.

6.Appropriately communicate your needs and go about having them met.

7.Flexibly and mindfully hold on to your views and convictions and carry yourself accordingly.

8.Don’t tell others how to feel, what to think or what to do – doing so takes their power away disabling them from bringing their authentic and beautiful self to you!

9.Let go of outcomes. Live and enjoy the moment.

10.Give from the heart – no strings attached.

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