Brain science is a fabulous field – it provides answers to some of life mysteries! There are so many new advances and discoveries being made that we are beginning to get a better understanding of what we are capable and of our potential as cognizant beings. My readings and research consistently reinforce my belief that we are truly amazing creatures with tremendous power over our own lives and world. We actually have the ability to change our own brain and with it how we experience and create our world and relationships!! I find this to be extraordinary and miraculous.
I learned new brain facts and brilliant insights from the book What Happy People Know by Dan Baker and Cameron Stauth that have inspired new interventions and ideas in my work. What I took from the presentation is that we all have a neurological fear system as part of our old brain make up that once helped us survive as a species but that now hinders our lives. This is a very fast automatic brain system that gets activated to freeze, fight or flight in the face of a real or perceived threat, and ensured our survival. Being hardwired this way is not very helpful in modern day society, but thankfully the brain evolved and developed mechanisms that can compensate and override this limitation. The new brain has intellectual, creative, intuitive and spiritual capabilities that empower and assist us in our human journey. Their contributions culminate in the perfect antidote for fear: Appreciation.
Appreciation is the highest, purest form of love. It transcends everyday life and promotes a state of grace. During active appreciation, the brain can not experience fear. The part of the brain that gets activated in the face of threat and creates a state of fear can not be activated simultaneously as the part of the brain that generates appreciation. The brain can not neurologically be in a state of fear and a state of appreciation at the same time. Furthermore, an appreciation experience has a lingering effect of several hours. This is fabulous news!
When we become mindful of what we appreciate, appreciate something, think appreciatively or do an appreciation, we activate the appreciation center in our brain and therefore can not be in a fear state. Not shutting down and becoming reactive with fear allow us access to our wholeness, authentic selves, talents, passion, uniqueness and gifts. We can be present, engaged and connected in our life and with our loved ones experiencing our life to its fullest potential.
We can never be short of things to be grateful for. Just look around. Everything around us is a gift. We just need to train our eye to see the beauty there. Appreciation can be easily summoned in the relationship with our partner. There is plenty we love about our partner and that our partner does for us. Sometimes we might become a little shaded or blind to these because of current situations or events in our life and relationship, but nonetheless, the qualities and gifts are there.
Think about what you appreciate about your partner, their looks, personality characteristics, gifts, talents, gestures, and uniqueness. What do you appreciate your partner does for you? What are you grateful for that your partner brings to your relationship? What do you appreciate your partner gives and contributes to the world? Think about how you are grateful for your partner. Your partner is a gift to you. Be thankful for having them in your life. Thank your partner for being in your life and sharing their journey with you!
~ Your MetroRelationship™ Assignment
Here is your RX for daily wellbeing, peace and happiness: Appreciation Dose 3x / Day.
~ Share Your Thoughts & Successes!
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Copyright (c) 2007-2014 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
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Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.