A key element of a successful relationship is having good communication skills and tools. When we don’t, that’s when our relationship is riddled with misunderstanding, conflict, and fighting. This in turn leads to creating friction between the partners that only manifests into issues and disconnection in the relationship.
But it is optimal for creating our successful relationship to have a wider range of skills and tools. When partners improve their communication skills they can:
~ More easily get on the same page ~ Be better able to understand each other ~ Address their needs ~ Deepen their connection ~ Uplevel their collaboration
Improving communication skills is a must have to make all other facets of the relationship go smooth. When we can properly communicate with our partner we can address anything and create anything.
Things that usually don’t get addressed because the partners are afraid the conversation will turn into a fight include things like:
Expectations and thoughts about things
Broken promises and other disappointments
Feelings, needs and preferences
Wishes, dreams and goals
Desires for intimate life
Issues in the home
Challenges different areas of life
And more…
Gaining greater communication skills doesn’t have to be difficult.
In today’s video, I show you 3 levels of communication to start addressing any difficulties you might be having getting along with your partner.
I talk about, how to: ~ Improve Communication ~ Deepen Communication ~ Enhance Communication
Focus on improving your communication and you’ll create immediate ease and joy in your relationship…
PSS: Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?
Copyright (c) 2023 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
One of the main reasons couples argue is because they are not on the same page. It’s not so much because they might disagree on something, but it has more to do with knowing and understanding where each partner is coming from. Partners usually make assumptions about what is going on, what their partner wants, and that they both want the same thing… Partners don’t always share what’s on their mind, their wishes, and desires and expect their partner to somehow know… Not sharing expectations with your partner is a sure way to not be on the same page, to have disagreements, conflicts, arguments, and fights.
There are many reasons that partners might not share their expectations with each other, some include that:
~ They might not realize that it’s easier to get on the same page when the parties involved know what’s on the table
~ They might be afraid to share for fear of being misunderstood, judged, and rejected
~ They might be worried that their partner knowing what they want might cause disagreements, conflicts, arguments, and fights
What they don’t realize is that as they each operate from their own set of beliefs, opinions, expectations, and wishes that they are more likely than not to run into trouble. Can’t be on the same team, collaborate and work towards achieving a common goal if the partners are focused on different things and doing things in different ways.
When the partners are not aligned, they are each going in their own direction making it impossible to make progress creating the home life, family, lifestyle, and life they want. Not to mention that there is friction and conflict at every step of the way, making it challenging to get along, feel good about the relationship, and cultivate connection and embrace their love.
It is important for partners to get on the same page about their expectations so they can align and better collaborate, creating a strong partnership and successful relationship…
Clarifying Expectations
The first order of business is to own for oneself what our beliefs are about all areas of life and relationship to make sure we have a clean mindset to draw expectations from… If we have limiting beliefs, a lack mentality, and just overall poor mental hygiene, we are likely to have faulty expectations out of the gate.
Then not only would we not have communicated our expectations to our partner, but they are unrealistic and potentially out there as well. Talk about setting up our relationship to be a struggle…
So, back to the first order of business, review all the areas for yourself first. Scrutinizing your beliefs about them as to:
~ How realistic they are ~ Do they make sense ~ How did you come to believe them ~ Did you choose these or were they passed down to you ~ Do you want to keep them ~ Do they need to be upgraded ~ And so on
Clean up what you believe about each area to be really representative of where you stand with things. Fully own what you believe in its cleanest form.
The areas, topics, and concepts to review include things like:
Dating
Intimacy
Connection
Affection
Touch
Sex
Sexuality
Body
Gender
Gender Roles
Relationship
Commitment
Marriage
In-laws
Husband
Wife
Spouse
Partner
Partnership
Pregnancy
Nursing
Children
Parenting
Discipline
Education
Health
Illness
Death
Weight
Priorities
Goals
Collaboration
Support
Chores
House Keeping
Leisure
Vacation
Career
Success
Finances
Debt
Money
Spirituality
Religion
Politics
Social Systems
Social Institutions
And so on…
Explore as much or a little as makes sense for where you are in your relationship and add other things that are important to you that might not be captured on the list. Then you are ready to share with your partner…
As you can probably see, these are big things that we have all sorts of ideas, preferences, and expectations about that we might not be fully aware ourselves and that are impacting our relationship and our life.
And, as you can probably see, these can wreak some havoc in our interactions and our relationship if we are not proactive about what we belief and expect and about making that known…
Just remember when you have your sharing session with your partner, to be gentle, open, understanding, accepting and mindful. Both your sides are equally as valid, and you might find that you diverge on things.
That’s ok. That’s the point of this exercise. To find the differences so you can work on getting on the same page for improving your collaboration, partnership and overall relationship and life.
PSS: Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?
Copyright (c) 2023 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
It takes intentionality to become our best self, create our successful relationship, and live a meaningful life… Too often though we go about life putting out fires, banging around, and living by default. We do the grind and if we are lucky, we plan and enjoy time off.
But is this all there is to life at the end of the day? Is this the life we want to live? Have you given thought to what kind of life you want to live, what kind of relationship you want to be in? Have you given any thought about how to create these? For they don’t just happen…
To run a smooth household and create the life you want requires getting on the same page with your partner. About what you want to create and how to go about creating it. How to easily work together and collaborate in your marriage or committed relationship.
As we get back from the Summer and vacation mode, it’s time to assess how we go about our relationship and our life to ensure we set ourselves up to rock the rest of the year. Now is the time to realign with our life vision and get on the same page with our partner about our goals and the lifestyle we want to create. To make any adjustments to stay on the right track.
Consider how you’d like the rest of the year to go, what codes you still want to crack, and how you want to uplevel your relationship and your life…
In today’s video, I show how to identify what you want to create and how to go about creating it with your partner.
I talk about how to: ~ Have a Joint Vision ~ Divide and Conquer Responsibilities ~ Operate from the Same Page
Here is coming back from Summer strong!
Watch other Monthly Theme videos on our YouTube channel
PSS: Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?
Copyright (c) 2023 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
What with Summer coming to an end, Labor Day Weekend coming up, and getting ready to be back from Summer Mode, I figured I’d do something a little bit different for you with this post… Because we are transitioning into a new season, a new chapter, a new beginning, it behooves us to get ready to ease into it. And what better way than taking some time to get motivated and inspired to create what we desire. Therefore, I curated a list of love, relationship, and marriage podcasts to draw from. Why not listen to the experts and the experienced on how to create your successful relationship. Who better to ask about the best podcasts for relationship advice than a marriage therapist?
Let me tell you, it was not easy compiling this list. But I’m super excited with what I came up with, and to share some of my favorites. I loved listening to these podcasts about marriage and relationships. You may think that after helping couples professionally for over 20 years and working as a licensed marriage therapist every week that I wouldn’t find these interesting and insightful, but I did. And I really enjoyed the variety of topics and the production of the shows.
I hope you enjoy them as much as I did- you can give a listen while driving in the car or commuting, doing chores or exercising, or lounging by a poolside. Podcasts offer an easy yet powerful way to gain relationship-building insights for enriching your relationship, and you can tune in to your favorite platform from anywhere. You can add listening to podcasts to your relationship enrichment activities…
The right podcast can inspire you, give practical advice, and also go behind the scenes to show you how a successful marriage is created and nurtured. My favorites have hosts with either years of professional training and experience and is able to help you navigate the intricacies of marriage, or podcasters with relationship wisdom and successful relationship experience.
There are podcasts for every stage of your relationship. Whether you are now starting to get involved in a committed relationship, preparing yourself for marriage, or looking for ways to sustain a marriage over time there is something for you. You can learn how to rekindle the passion in your relationship, foster a friendship with your partner, and help your marriage thrive than merely just survive.
I have found podcasts that help handle finances, share household responsibilities, manage stress, overcome infidelity, and even blend families through remarriage. I chose a few to share with you that I felt would be the most impactful. They cover a nice range from podcasters to relationship experts themselves and some others in between. I listed them with their descriptions for your convenience. You are welcome.
Best Relationship Podcasts
Here are my top podcast recommendations for gaining wisdom, perspective, and tools to enhance your most important relationship, that with your partner.
*Note of caution, I share these for motivation and inspiration and are not intended as replacements for psychotherapy and professional support.
Hot Marriage, Cool Parents Are you looking for someone to share their deepest, darkest secrets on keeping their marriage spice? Are you like, “puhhlease DISH on how to be a cool parent.. because, yeah… I dunno!” Well Jamie Otis and Dough Hehner have got all you hubbies and wifeys – and mommies and daddies – covered, because each week they find a guest who will SPILL all their dirty secrets! Because we all wanna keep our marriages hot and our parenting cool!
One Extraordinary Marriage Show Is your marriage everything that you want it to be? Are you ready to make a change? Join Tony and Alisa DiLorenzo to create a strong marriage so you can have mind blowing intimacy inside and outside the bedroom. Marriage is not always easy but it’s so worth it. Come and make your marriage EXTRAORDINARY!
The Empowered Wife Podcast The Empowered Wife Podcast is all about fixing your relationship without your man’s conscious effort, even if it seems completely hopeless. Guests share how they fixed their marriages to men with anger issues, narcissism, alcohol abuse, verbal abuse, midlife crisis, affairs, physical abuse and more using the Connection Framework and the 6 Intimacy Skills. Every show reveals the very common mistakes that everybody seems to be making and show you exactly what to do instead to have a playful, passionate relationship. You can stop feeling lonely, exhausted and unloved and start feeling desired, taken care of and special again.
Small Things Often, by The Gottman Institute Give your relationships a boost in 5 minutes or less with Small Things Often from The Gottman Institute. We provide simple, proven, quick tips to help you deepen and enhance your relationship.
Foreplay Radio – Couples & Sex Therapy Sex podcast to help committed couples keep it hot! Find hope to keep your marriage and committed relationship emotionally connected and sexually erotic. Certified sex therapist Dr. Laurie Watson is joined by George Faller, LMFT for an expert, frank and fascinating conversation about sex, love, therapy, relationship dynamics, healthy couples and marriage. They discuss everything from best sexual techniques and solving sexual problems, to building the emotional intimacy necessary for great sex in your relationship. Two therapists bring you sound, concrete tools to reframe your relationship problems and learn how to fall-in-love again, build trust, and feel desire.
Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel Every Monday morning step into the office of iconic psychotherapist Esther Perel and listen in as real people in search of insight bare the raw, intimate, and profound details of their stories. From breakups and open relationships to workplace conflicts and fractures in the family, it’s a place to hear your own stories reflected in the lives of others. So.. where should we begin?
Relationship Alive! Neil Sattin interviews John Gottman, Sue Johnson, Harville Hendrix, Peter Levine, Stan Tatkin, Dick Schartz, Katherine Woodward Thomas, Diana Richardson, Terry Real, Wendy Maltz – and many others – in his quest to dig deep into all the factors that keep a Relationship Alive and Thriving! Each week Neil brings you an in-depth interview with a relationship expert. Neil is an author and relationship coach who is enthusiastic and passionate about relationships and the nuts and bolts of what makes them last.
Had you heard any of these before? What do you look for in a relationship podcast? You can now create your own relationship podcast list!
Let’s get ready for the upcoming season with more tools, knowledge, motivation, and inspiration to enrich our relationship and our life. See you there!
PSS: Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?
Copyright (c) 2023 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
Yes, we love Summer and some of us might not be too happy to see Summer come to an end. Yep, that’s me. You too? But we don’t have to let the end of Summer put a damper on our mood, fun quotient, outdoor time, and the rest of it. It is up to us to bring what we love about Summer with us as much as we can. And it is important to recognize that there is beauty in all the seasons for varying reasons. I say for now we take in what’s magical about the end of August and savor every morsel. Use end of august magic to inspire change in your relationship.
As things really slow down during this time, this gives us an opportunity to give our body, mind and spirit a respite from the usual pace we keep, which could be phrenetic for some… This space allows us to shift gears so we can better tap into our creativity, our desires, and our dreams…
When we take a break from our routine, rhythm, and the usual, when we slow down and are not run by our list of to-dos, when we allow ourselves to just be, tune in, and attune- ahh… This is when we become more aware of all the blessings, the beauty, the love, the possibilities… Believe it or not, in relaxing we expand, evolve…
~ Did you ever notice that when you are running around, are multi-tasking, have a crammed agenda and packed schedule, that this is when your partner gets on your nerves the most?
~ Did you ever notice that when your children are taken cared of, your phone is nowhere to be found, and you have nowhere to be, that that is when you enjoy your partner the most?
~ And did you ever notice that when you really slow down, bask in nature, and just chill that that is when all the solutions, great ideas, and inspiration strikes? Not to mention the health and the well-being…?
Mm, right? What does that tell us?
The End of August Magic…
When we realize that we have a different experience that gives us joy, inspiration, connection, love, and happiness, let’s pay attention to what’s different about that experience… In this case the call to disconnect and slow down, and quiet-down might I add, is like a blaring siren. We’d be remiss to not take notice…
I love the end of August, exactly for this reason. It gives us a chance to:
Disconnect from the hustle and bustle, the noise, the devices- from being plugged in
Relax, rest and recharge
Reconnect with our desires and dreams
Get inspired for what’s next
Reset for the new chapter
This is a great opportunity to synchronize with your partner about your life and your relationship.
When you disconnect and slowdown, you give your relationship the opportunity to thrive. For this is when you can better mind your energy, how you show up, how you nurture, how you respond, how you play, how you invite your partner to create the relationship and life your desire…
During this last two weeks of August, you get to feel each other more, play differently, dream your dreams, and refocus on one another and what you’d like to create.
Whether you are away, off, or just cruising for the next two weeks, you might consider setting time aside to bask in nature and each other’s company:
~ Show up with chill energy, curiosity, and interest
~ Show up with playfulness and openness
~ Show up with the intention to connect more deeply and expand your love
Before you know it, you’ll be inspired for What’s Next in your relationship and your life and become aligned in creating it…
PSS: Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?
Copyright (c) 2023 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT has been in the mental health profession in varying capacities for the past 20+ years. She is the Founder and Director of MetroRelationship.com a psychotherapy and coaching practice specializing in working with busy professional and entrepreneurial couples who are struggling getting on the same page and feeling connected. The work helps couples create a radiant and successful relationship and meaningful life by becoming a strong partnership and increasing their connection, intimacy, and fun. Emma is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Relationship Strategy™.
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