Embracing Self-Love and Being (VIDEO)

Embracing Self-Love and Being (VIDEO)

As we start a New Year, we are looking forward to a new chapter, and possibly a new book, in our life. The thing is that the person that got us here, our current self, is not the person that can get us there… The person that got us here and only do more of the same… For us to create something new, we have to be able to Be in a new way… The new self can create our new chapter, our Best Year Yet. A way to the new self is through Embracing Self-Love and Being.

Part of our Human Experience is to continue to grow more into who we really are… To continue to evolve. Shedding the slumber, the character defenses, the defense mechanisms, and other unconscious patterns to become our Best Self. This is the pursuit of Self-Growth…

I’m looking at the pursuit of Self-Growth as having two key components:

🌟Self-Love Practice for our Being

🌟Personal Development Practice for our Becoming

 

This month’s series will focus on our Self-Love Practice with today defining Self-Love and setting us up for a deep dive into developing a rich practice that really honors who we are and takes care of us.

Self-Love has to do with:

💖 Self-Honoring – Respecting and honoring ourselves- our values, our needs, our body, our feelings, our intuition, our perspectives, our space, our time, our preferences, our wishes, our dreams and so on.

💖 Self-Management – Taking full responsibility for ourselves- with learning how to properly manage ourselves and strive for excellence and high performance.

💖 Self-Care – Taking care of ourselves- with having a wholistic self-care practice that generates vitality, health and wellbeing.

💖 Self-Connection – Having a strong relationship with ourselves- with fully knowing and accepting all parts of ourselves, with keeping our own company, with having our own back, with being more present, with nurturing ourselves.

Each of these can be a whole newsletter or blog in and of themselves. LOL Nonetheless, we’ll be covering some aspect of each in the coming weeks, starting today with respecting and honoring ourselves.

Watch the video for 5 Tactics for honoring yourself… Enjoy!

Download the Identifying Core Values guide

 

APPLICATION: You’d think it’d be easy to be us. To be who we are. To be ourselves… As you might be aware, this is actually not the case and our Journey is about learning and evolving ourselves… Therefore, it’s imperative that we integrate tackling this intentionally in our lives…

Set some time aside to give yourself some Self-Love…

💗Values – We have to know our Core Values to help us filter our decisions and pursuits in our lives… Complete the Identifying Core Values exercise, and let your discovery inform other practices and tactics for more cohesiveness… Get the guide HERE.

💗Essence – We have to choose what flavor human being we want to be. LOL In your journal, list qualities of people you admire and who you consider role models.

1️⃣Underline the qualities you have in common with them.
2️⃣Circle the qualities they have that you’d like to embrace more in yourself…
3️⃣Summon the essence of that quality and strive for integrating it into yourself… Do this when you need a little pick me up, inspiration or motivation.

💗Feelings – Thoughts lead to feelings… Therefore, we can generate whatever feelings we like!

1️⃣Decide what kinds of feelings you want to experience more in your life…
2️⃣What kinds of thoughts would you have to have to generate those feelings?
3️⃣In your Journal, capture the thoughts so you can reference them as needed if you are having a hard time generating them, and their related feelings, on any giving day…
4️⃣Make it a habit of choosing the feelings you desire for the day first thing in the morning and go about generating them…

💗Intentions – We can be pretty chaotic in how we show up to our life and the days in our life if we are not intentional about it… Intentions are a powerful thing… You can choose how you want to show up everyday, and self correct at any giving moment…

1️⃣In your Journal, make a list of intentions about different ways you’d like to show up in your life.
2️⃣Keep this handy to draw from as needed to bring more intentionality and personal engagement in your life…
3️⃣You can use these as daily intentions, weekly themes, sprinkles for kicks and to keep things fresh

💗Roles – This one is super important. I often discuss this in our work with clients in terms of what kind of people they want to be regardless of how the people in their lives are being…

1️⃣Ponder on what kind of human you want to be, what kind of man, woman, or other gender, what kind of partner, what kind of parent, what kind of “child”, what kind of sibling, what kind of in-law, what kind of friend, neighbor, boss, and so on…
2️⃣In your Journal, capture your musings.
3️⃣Identify where you’d like to tweak how you are being in any relationship and get to making the corrections or upgrades…

Isn’t this work just so delicious!? This is a quick way to embrace you and Be more of who you want to be, who you really are… You’ll just be intentional about really Being you…

Wishing you much joy, connection and love today and always…

With Much Love & Light!

 

Copyright (c) 2022 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.

 

Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?

Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include:
Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com

The Delightful Part (3of3) (VIDEO)

The Delightful Part (3of3) (VIDEO)

We made it! This is the funnest Part of the funnest Step of our End of Year and New Year Planning! LOL (Yes, we already know I make up my own words) This is the reward for all the awesome planning and later implementing and doing. This is where we celebrate and honor more deeply the Being part of ourselves for trekking in this Journey… This is where we add all the actual fun, sensing, experiencing, enjoying and other loveliness. This is The Delightful Part (3of3).

I had always added this sparkle sprinkling as a bonus to prior processes and as an ongoing practice. But recently decided that this deserves its own Step as this is where the-in-the-moment and awesomeness is in life, so why not prop it up more? Right?

To that end, boy was it fun compiling the strategies worthy of this Step. AND the addition of this step made it necessary to pull the coordination and integration from Step3 into its own step, Step5-Coordinating. Woot!

I’m super proud of how pretty the process turned out. It’s a much improved and upleveled version of our usual process. Yay! 

Before we jump into it, let’s recap the whole process again for easy reference, End-Of-Year & New-Year Planning Process (ENP-Process):

🌟 Step1-Clearing
🌟 Step2-Celebrating
🌟 Step3-Contemplating
🌟 Step4-Candescenting
          The Inspirational Part
          The Masterful Part
          The Delightful Part (today’s Part)
🌟 Step5-Coordinating (today’s Bonus)

🌟 Step6-Communing (today’s Super Bonus)

 

The Inspirational Part covered how to get in touch with your Essence and bring it forth more…

The Masterful Part covered how to capture and integrate better habits and activities for more Flow and enjoyment in your life…

Today’s part, The Delightful Part, covers how to step it up on the fun, adventures, experiences, satisfaction, joy, happiness, and Love in your life. SO GOOD!

 

The Delightful Part

In our quest to have a Brilliant Human Experience™ we struggle, we suffer, we stretch, we learn, we rejoice, we celebrate, we enjoy, we savor – hopefully… We are great with the beginning part of this list. Even those that are better are taking it easy and enjoying, might still miss some of the beauty that is possible in our Experience…

I’ve on a mission for myself and to help others have the Best Human Experience ever. Woot!

Hence this newest Step, and particularly this Part, was added to our Planning process to really *capture and focus on the more awesome side of life.

*I imagine this might be offensive to some who are not in a great place, have the means and such. If this is you, I get you and please know that the whole process is meant to help you move your life forward… Also, know that my work with partners and couples focuses on healing, growing and evolving… Right now, I’m covering the icing on our cake…

Depending on where you are and what you need most in your life right now, can determine which step/s you give the most attention.

Also, note the whole process is to help you take charge of your life and make it what you want. If some parts are too much for you, overwhelming or superfluous, by all means tweak them to fit you and your situation.

NOTE: You DO NOT have to implement all the tactics. I’m offering a menu for your choosing. The point is to make things better in your life, not overload and stress you out filling up your life with more stuff.

SO, we know what we want. We know how to do what it takes and how to be to get it… Now, we are on to enjoying it!

The video covers 5 Tactics to Delight you in your Journey… But before we go there, I want to share the BONUS step to bring it all together.

 

Step5 – Coordination and Integration

The focus today is on the Delighting Tactics, but I want to wrap up this series with a quick overview of this last step to bring it all together for us for a complete process.

The purpose of this step is to make sure you didn’t just plan to your heart’s content and for your process to be forgotten till the end of the upcoming year when you think about setting goals again…

We want to make sure all the clarifying, designing, and strategizing you did gets actually integrated into your life- and work- flows and easily assimilated to help you create the changes and upleveling you are seeking.

SO, here are the Parts for Step5:

⚡️Time Map – Map out how you want to use your time, parts of the day, theme to the days in the week, special times and such. You can create a template of this on a separate calendar (works great with google calendar).  View the template and your regular calendar simultaneously for the template to serve as a guide as you schedule yourself on your regular calendar and make commitments…

⚡️Habits and Routines – Add tactics/habits to a Habits tracking app and to your daily routines to make sure they get integrated into your flow and tracked to ensure you stay the course and make progress. I’ve been using Habits, it’s fairly robust yet pretty, flexible and user friendly.

⚡️Calendar – Add your activities, tactics/habits, flow/routine tasks, special days and times, and events for holding space for things to be booked or scheduled. Use a shared calendar with your partner as necessary. Invite others to the events.

⚡️Project Management and Templates – Add your projects, tasks and to-dos to a project management app. I use Asana. This is great if you run a business. For only personal use I recommend Trello, though you can run a business on there as well. Create templates for recurring tasks to safeguard your brainpower for what matters and to keep you organized, not for remembering tasks and steps. And, these are great collaboration tools as well!

⚡️Environments – Finally, review your environments to make sure they support your new habits, routines, activities and interests. Remove any friction that might cause you to falter in your quest and add touches to encourage your follow through. For example, having a water bottle you like to help you drink more water.

You see how all the fleshing out and designing you did become a part of your life and easier to tackle as it gets incorporated into your routine, flow and systems?

This is how you create change and progress and ultimately live your Best Life!

 

And finally, Step6!

The next thing about all this is that if you haven’t already done this process with your partner…, that you share what you came up with and encourage them to do this for themselves as well. Please note, that they might not go as in depth or as thoroughly as you did, and that’s ok. We all have our own way of doing things…

Then review what you each have to create a Joint Life Vision and approach, and tweak your flow and integration of tactics as necessary to capture the Partnership…

Voila!

 

Now for real, you get to watch the video for 5 Tactics to help you Masterfully enjoy your Journey… Enjoy!

Download the End-Of-Year & New-Year Planning Process

APPLICATION: Today’s Part is the most fun. Here is where you really get to sprinkle the sparkle! Here is an overview of the process and the Tactics for today’s Part:

A – Complete Steps1 – 3 if you haven’t yet!

B – Tackle Step4 – You don’t have to do all of these. Select what tickles your heart and have at it!

⭐️ The Inspirational Part

⭐️ The Masterful Part

⭐️ Today’s – The Delightful Prat… 

🔥 Self-Love Practice – It is very challenging to feel OK if we don’t love and take care of ourselves…

If you are already overwhelmed and tight for time, don’t skimp on this Tactic but maybe hold off on the others. This Tactic is the one that helps you do your self, your relationship/s and your life better!

When you not find but make the time for self-care, treating yourself and connecting with yourself, everything else is good. I promise. Connecting with yourself, means you are never alone and unloved. Prioritizing mindfulness and taking care of yourself keeps you healthy, resilient, energized, inspired and motivated… From this state you can conquer and master everything else…

Stay tuned for more on this in coming issues!

**Make a list of Self-Care and Self-Love activities to choose from to add to your flow… Include little luxuries, pampering, and honoring of yourself. Shoot for Sparking Joy and Delighting Yourself…

**Design your morning, afternoon, and evening routines as well as other special times and dates with yourself adding to them some specific activities from you list…

🔥 Experiences Map – Have more fun and adventure!

**Make a list of amazing experiences and memorable moments you want to have this upcoming year. Places to visit, social engagements, people to hang with, things from our Bucket List/s, First Time things (thanks for this last one Sherri!), and such.

**Draw a line down a paper to represent the upcoming year. Starting at the top add January, go down a bit and add February, and so on to capture the whole year. Then, add the items from your list as makes sense to you and your life, including how you’ll stretch, to the different months of the year. 

🔥 Interests and Activities – Enrich your life and have meaningful personal experiences.

**Given your Personal Brand that you identified in The Inspirational Part, decide what kind of hobbies, interests, and activities you’ll want to pursue in the coming months. What kind of flavor will they be: Nerdy, sporty, adventurous, healthy, creative, artistic or what?

Note, more doesn’t mean is better! You already have a full life- we just want to add things that make it more special. There is no need to overload, cram and fill up every minute…

 🔥 Passion Project – You don’t necessary need more things to do. But if you are looking to add more meaning and depth to your life and to feel more engaged, this might be a good a good solution.

**If you don’t already have a cause, an interest or a passion, check out what others are doing in their lives when it comes to this. Think about different parts of you, your life, your home, your community and such where you can dig in and add more pizzazz.

 🔥 Giving Back Plan – This one piggybacks on the prior tactic but takes it to a more external, humanitarian and philanthropical level.

**Do some soul searching and some online research as to areas where you can contribute, influence, and make an impact. Depending on your ambition, you can tackle the 17 Sustainable Developmental Goals to a degree of your choosing.

Or you can simply identify charities you want to support with contributions or through volunteering, support organizations or associations with your time and talents, mentor youth or team member at work, donate stuff when you declutter your home, or give a helping hand to brothers and sisters in need.

C – Schedule Step5 – You see why this step needed to be added? So much yumminess came out of this process. This is how you make a rich, meaningful, and joyous life.

**Now it’s time to make all your plans, designs and selections from all your work a part of your daily, weekly, monthly, and quarterly life using tools and systems. This might take some time, so a separate planning session might be in order. LOL

⭐️ Time Map
⭐️ Habits and Routines
⭐️ Calendar
⭐️ Project Management and Templates
⭐️ Environments

D – Embrace Step6 – Include your Partner!

 

You did it! Wow!

Doesn’t that just feel incredible, to know exactly what your life will look like, the work and the fun, next year? To know that you got it all covered, and that it’s going to be epic? Knowing that it can all be revisited and tweaked as necessary…

Great job having your own back, future you appreciates you…

Here is to your Best Year Yet!

See you in the New Year!

With Much Love & Light!

 

PS – Check out past Holiday posts to help you Thrive this Holiday Season and start the New Year right!

Letting go, productivity and meaningful holiday
Acknowledge and celebrate your accomplishments
Intentionally plan your holidays and year-end
Giving to yourself for ultimate success
Give the Gift of Understanding and Compassion…
Giving, meaning and success
Have a 100 year plan…
Why you need Purpose in your life?
Do you have clarity?
Let your Values rule your life
Live by your Character and Practical Strengths

 

 

Copyright (c) 2021 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.

 

Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?

Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include:
Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com

Embracing Gratitude (Thanksgiving Series Pt2) (VIDEO)

Embracing Gratitude (Thanksgiving Series Pt2) (VIDEO)

Did you know that the better you feel, the easier and more joyful your life becomes? Whether you look at this in terms of having high vibrations and attracting other high vibration experiences in your life. Or, if you look at this as when you feel well, you have more energy, you have more patience, you have more bandwidth and such to apply to your life. Or just as, feeling well is all that matters. The important point is that we want to feel well, happy. The better we feel, the better. Here is to feeling better by Embracing Gratitude (Thanksgiving Series Pt2).  

There are a multitude of ways to make ourselves feel better, but what better way this Season than with: Grace, Gratitude, and Generosity…

Not only are these amazing character strengths to embrace and rejoice with during the Holidays Season, but they are great character strengths to develop and embrace all year around. These are great characteristics to cultivate through our personal development work for increased wellbeing…

In Part1 of this series we covered Giving Grace.

Today in Part2, we’ll focus on Embracing Gratitude. 🙏

Embracing Gratitude is a wonderful antidote for dispelling fear, anxiety, anger and the like. Our brain can’t be in a triggered state and in a gratitude state at the same time…

This is one of the reasons we start all our sessions with Appreciations. Where the partners get to share what they appreciate about the other and what the other has done or how they’ve been since the prior session.

    • Focusing on the yummy stuff also invites more yummy stuff. It reinforces that what the other is doing or how they are showing up is appreciated, which serves as a reward and incentive…
    • It sets a different tone to the session. There is a shift to a pro relationship mindset…
    • It curves the negativity bias and helps reprogram it…
    • And, other goodies…

All these benefits are just within the context of a therapy session, and within its first few minutes. Imagine what an impact appreciation and gratitude can have in your life as an ongoing practice…

For now, let’s Embrace Gratitude for the next few weeks by expanding your Gratitude Practice, and reap 3 coveted benefits in the process….

 

Watch the video to learn how to expand your Gratitude Practice and about the benefits you get as a result…

 

APPLICATION: The feeling of Gratitude is one of those super feelings that is easy to generate and has a wonderful impact on our wellbeing, our life, and the world at large… Embracing Gratitude with a Gratitude Practice built into our lifestyle is key to really integrate this potent elixir into our life.

Select one or more tactics below to really play with in the coming weeks:

Appreciation Habit – We tend to have negativity bias in how we view everything, especially our partner and our relationship… This is the worst thing to allow to flourish in your relationship if you are interested in creating a Radiant and Successful Relationship…

✨ Create a time in your daily routine where you get to spend a few minutes with your partner sharing appreciations about each other and acknowledging their investment in making your relationship, home and life more awesome.

Thankfulness Lens – First thing upon waking put on a Thankfulness Lens:

✨ Set the intention to notice the beauty in your life and world, see the positive and opportunities in situations, recognize the good intention behind your partner’s actions

✨ Be thankful for all these treasures

Honoring Differences – We live in a world where homogeneousness is valued, or rather where differences are not really tolerated… How about deciding not to contribute to polarizing views, believes, perspectives, actions and general approach to life?

✨ Notice where you are intolerant, prejudice, inflexible, judgmental and the like and decide now to widen your views and approach.

✨ Choose 3 behaviors you can integrate into your life to loosen the usual limiting grip and Transmute this wasted energy. This applies to political views, friendships, in-laws, children, and most importantly your partner… For example, stop begrudging your partner their wish for more separateness… Build-in more personal time into your lifestyle.

 

Embracing Gratitude is a wonderful sentiment to add to our Holidays Season and merriment. Additionally, being Grateful is a potent character strength that when harnessed within a Gratitude Practice it becomes a powerful tool for creating an amazing relationship and gorgeous life…

This one is a keeper!

Wishing you much joy, connection and love today and always…

With Much Love & Light!

 

PS – Check out past Holidays posts to help you Start Your Season Right!

Thanks Giving for a Satiating Relationship  
Are You Giving Enough to Your Honey? 
Do You Know the Role of Thanksgiving
Appreciation, Gratefulness and Thanksgiving
Peacefulness, Abundance and Giving
Giving, Meaning and Success
Letting Go, Productivity and Meaningful Holidays
Rituals – A Fantastic Couple Success Tool

 

 

Copyright (c) 2021 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.

 

Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?

Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include:
Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com

Giving Grace (Thanksgiving Series Pt1) (VIDEO)

Giving Grace (Thanksgiving Series Pt1) (VIDEO)

Whoa, it’s that time of year again! As we start November, we are entering the Holidays Season and with them the inevitability of being stretched thin, overwhelmed, and stressed out. Unless of course, we are intentional and proactive about having a Zen Holidays and year-end… To help us cultivate our Zen this month, I’ll be doing a 3-part series covering Grace, Gratitude, and Generosity. Let’s start with: Giving Grace (Thanksgiving Series Pt1).

First off, why Grace, Gratitude and Generosity? Because I wanted to write on the theme of Thanksgiving and those three characteristics capture the essence of this holiday so nicely. Plus, they are a pretty set of Gs. 🤓 LOL

All kidding aside, these characteristics came to me for myself as I’m getting ready for my Holidays Season. I’ve been setting intentions and being proactive about my holidays for years now, and every year I’m inspired to add more simplicity, beauty, and Zen. My goal is to really be present and enjoy the simple pleasures bestowed by the magic of the season.

Giving Grace thus supports this goal… I’m defining Giving Grace as:

🌟 Being easy about things
🌟 Letting go of perfectionism, annoyances, control and the like
🌟 Creating space for authenticity

We can give grace in all areas of our life – from how we treat ourselves, to how we operate in our business, to how we relate to our partner…

Learn how to apply this to your relationship!

 

Watch the video to learn how to give more grace in your relationship and how it helps create a major shift!

 

APPLICATION: Identify an area in your relationship where you experience a lot of frustration and pain. Then apply the 3-part lens to deconstruct your experience and embrace Giving Grace instead…

🌟Being easy about things – What do you wish in that area? What are your expectations? How do you communicate them? How do you go about making things happen or getting what you want?

🌟Letting go of perfectionism, annoyances, control – How do you look at what happens in that area? Where are you aiming for perfection? What do you let annoy you? How do you impose your way?

🌟Creating space for authenticity – How do you hold back, squash, your true essence? How do you silence yourself? How do you make yourself small? How do you so the same to your partner?

Now look at your answers and adjust the unrealistic expectations, rigidity, poor boundaries and mindset.

Revise your answers as to how you really want to be and show up…

 

When we embrace Giving Grace in the experience of our relationship and in our interactions with our partner, we soon notice that the relationship flows more smoothly, that there is less resistance from our partner, and that we feel more on the same page and connected.

Make Giving Grace a Holiday Intention™ this year!

Wishing you much joy, connection and love today and always…

With Much Love & Light!

 

PS – Check out past Holidays posts to help you Start Your Season Right!
Thanks Giving for a Satiating Relationship
Are You Giving Enough to Your Honey?
Do You Know the Role of Thanksgiving
Appreciation, Gratefulness and Thanksgiving
Peacefulness, Abundance and Giving 
Giving, Meaning and Success 
Letting Go, Productivity and Meaningful Holidays
Rituals – A Fantastic Couple Success Tool

 

Copyright (c) 2021 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.

 

Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?

Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include:
Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com

Keeping things fresh as a lifestyle (VIDEO)

Keeping things fresh as a lifestyle (VIDEO)

Couples are always looking for different ways to enjoy each other’s company and have fun together. It’s not easy to keep things fresh and interesting unless the partners are intentional about it. The easiest way to stay on top of this is to make keeping things fresh a part of your lifestyle… Nurturing your couple is a key component to create your successful relationship.

I know this is easier said than done, especially when partners are so busy keeping up with the regular demands of everyday life. They barely have time to cover the basics, they don’t even get to self-care, never mind thinking about integrating fun into their lifestyle. LOL

But this doesn’t have to be so challenging. There are a few things to keep in mind to make sure the couple doesn’t fall to the wayside.

We are talking:

🥰 Mindset around nurturing the couple
🤓 Commitment and intentionality that includes a system for making it happen
🤔 Generating ideas for keeping things fresh and interesting

When we prioritize the couple, the whole relationship becomes a lot stronger… The family and home take on a better flavor, life becomes smoother… Your relationship becomes more radiant and super successful…

 

Watch the video to learn about the 3 concepts to help you more easily nurture your couple and keep things fresh and interesting!

 

APPLICATION: Identify where you need to focus to improve prioritizing and nurturing your couple:

    • Mindset around nurturing the couple – Review how you prioritize your partner, the couple and the relationship, and address any weirdness around priorities, focus, fairness, deservingness, balance, tit for tat, giving/receiving, etc and upgrade the importance of giving your partner TLC
    • Commitment and intentionality that includes a system for making it happen – Make a commitment to be all in, to woo your partner, to take real good care of them, and add Connection and Delight Partner Habits into your daily routine
    • Generating ideas for keeping things fresh and interesting – Use the seasons, holidays, interests, hobbies, preferences, desires, dreams, bucket lists, and the like to come up with activities and experiences to do together and/or gift to your partner      

Give yourself some time to sit with the item that needs attention until you fully grasp where you stand and what you’d like to do about it. Then share your insight and intention with your partner. Make it a positive and fun discussion, focused on how you’ll step it up a notch!

 

Placing your couple in its rightful place of top priority and tending it makes a huge difference to how the partners feel and the strength of the partnership. Keeping your relationship top of mind and intentionally nurturing it ongoingly helps keep things fresh… There is nothing worse than an ignored relationship and stale couple…

Make sure this is not you, pour your love into your interactions and towards your partner. Starting right now. Go for it!

Wishing you much joy, connection and love today and always…

With Much Love & Light!

 

 

Copyright (c) 2021 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.

 

Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?

Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include:
Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com

Couples with young children struggle finding time for self-care

Couples with young children struggle finding time for self-care

If you are juggling taking care of small children, giving attention to your relationship, caring for your home, rocking it at work or your business, and managing other responsibilities, you probably have a hard time finding time for yourself. Do you often feel like there is too much to do and not enough time in the day? Do you feel overwhelmed, exhausted and anxious? Do you lack proper support to boot? It is common for couples with young children to struggle finding time for self-care. 

When the partners don’t take care of themselves:

1. Their nerves are frayed, become impatient, inflexible, hypersensitive, and closed minded
2. They have a hard time having productive conversations, making decisions, and solving problems
3. They are running on empty, their health and wellbeing deteriorate, and they don’t have the bandwidth or energy to meet each other’s needs
4. They become disenchanted with one another, they lack desire and even start losing attraction for the other
5. They have a harder time figuring out ways to support each other and collaborate

Partners find themselves in a vicious cycle that is very discouraging for the success of the relationship, and the partner’s overall life…

Lack of self-care has a huge impact on the wellbeing of the partners, the relationship and the family…

 

Implementing More Self-care

 

The partners’ lack of self-care has an overarching impact on different parts of the family. Some ways in which the lack of self-care manifests:

💫 Wellbeing of the partners – Individually the partners experience an impact to physical and mental health, resilience, vitality, appearance and fitness, productivity, performance, and zest for life  

💫 Wellbeing of the relationship – There is an impasse and stuckness that permeates the relationship, poor communication and frequent disagreements and arguing, recurring issues, disconnection, lack of intimacy and suboptimal support and collaboration

💫 Wellbeing of the family – There is tension, chaos, disorganization, things falling through the cracks, difficulty keeping up with chores and preparing healthy meals, children with frequent health ailments, acting out, and/or poor grades

How can the partners do more self-care when they are already so strapped for time?

 

About time…

 

Our to-do list, responsibilities and demands seem to grow every day. Just the thought of having to find the time to add anything else to an already jammed packed day seems a laughable matter.

But it is not about finding the time, but about making the time… Making the time is a lot easier than it seems!

📣 Mindset – For starters, the way we choose to look at time, our responsibilities, our abilities, our lifestyle, our support, and so on influences how we gatekeep, prioritize and manage our time.

If we believe that we should be all things to all people, that being nurturing, loving and supportive means doing more and saying yes to everything, that we are the only ones that can take care of things the way we want them, and such, we are more likely to be burning the candle at both ends.

On the other hand, if we don’t need to prove our worth, value ourselves, play to our strengths, don’t need to micromanage, trust we can count on others, believe that others want to please us and do right by us, stay in our own circle, and such, we are more likely to not be spread too thin…

 📣 Routine – When we don’t get in our own way with a funky mindset, we are a lot more likely to create an Ideal Day routine that supports our Best Life. We are able to design our day so what’s important to us gets our attention and our best selves. And it feels like we have all the time in the world…

We are able to create a routine and a flow to our days that enables us to tackle our responsibilities seamlessly and with ease. There is a time for everything… We are not overly scheduled, we are not crammed, and we are not running around like a chicken without a head. There is gracefulness to the day and transitions built-in to allow for staying present, grounded and attuned…

 📣 Habits – And then, we add wellness, connection and success habits to the routine that allows us to take care of everything we want to take care of. When we intentionally set up leveraged habits, we get more milage out of our efforts. We become superhuman, we have more time, and we take care of a lot – seamlessly!

Being intentional in our approach to our days, buys us time!

 

Your Self-care Practice

 

Once you’ve shifted how you look at the importance of self-care and how to tackle the time concern, you can ease into integrating more self-care activities into your routine to build your rich self-care practice.

Below is a list of suggested items to sprinkle into your routine, creating habits of them to carry them out consistently:

• Meditation, Journaling, Affirmations
• Listening to inspiring content, motivation speeches, music
• HIIT, yoga, weight training, walking
• Nutritious eating, hydration, supplementation
• Connecting with loved ones
• Mani/pedi, bath, massage
Tantric meditation visualization and practice
• Soothing nighttime routine

Investing in shifting your perspective on this topic, on creating time and prioritizing self-care, and integrating more self-care activities into your routine is a must to support you in your Journey…

 

APPLICATION: Take a moment. Yes, you have a moment – before you jump out of bed, while you brush your teeth, when you are on the toilet, when you are in the shower, when you are nursing or giving a bottle, while you are making food, while you are folding laundry, while you are driving, etc…

Hey, I know some moms feel they don’t even have this – they skip brushing their teeth, showering, and even eating. They go to the bathroom with little ones hanging onto them. I get it. If this is you, I’m sending you lots of love and encouragement to steel a moment from somewhere – if you look, you find…

Use the moment to make a commitment to make a change – it doesn’t have to be like this!

Think on the impact of not taking care of yourself, dare to look at time differently…, and dream about what self-care activities you’d like to enjoy…

Pick one self-care activity that you will integrate into your life in the next couple of days…

You get a gold star! 🌟

 

We create our own hell and promote our own demise sometimes… Let’s empower ourselves and approach self-care differently… Let’s give this a good shot, as if our life depends on it – for it does!!

Wishing you much joy, connection and love today and always…

With Much Love & Light!

 

 

Copyright (c) 2021 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.

 

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Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com

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