Are you achieving your relationship goals?


Mid-March – how about them apples? Times flies when you are having fun, or are too busy! LOL Hopefully it’s the former for you. How is it going? Having a good week? Having a good month (March can be rough on people)? Having a good quarter…?

As we are quickly approaching the end of Q1, this is a perfect time to check if we are on track for the year. This might be tough to face if you were slow getting started with your new year’s strategy.

It’s common that people don’t invest time at the end of the year in planning for the new year. This leaves them planning and strategizing at the beginning of the year. Which in turn prolongs the time that it takes them to actually start working on their strategy and the new goals. 

This might still be the case for you if you don’t necessarily create a “strategy” for the year, but set some resolutions, intentions, focus, goals, or such. You might have gotten to the game a bit late.

Also, it might not have been easy to get moving, regardless of how much ahead planning you did, if you experienced some winter blues. You might have had the best of intentions, and then BAM! The winter blues hit and you just couldn’t get a strong enough grip implementing your strategy or getting traction fast enough.

There is yet, something else that might be getting in the way of rocking Q1 regardless of how much planning or not you’ve done. That is having the winter blahs (cabin fever) which has or is slowing you down…

With all of the above you are not alone! These are all very common, and hence the focus of this post.

Then again, maybe the above are not the case for you, and you have been plowing along nicely. Kudos and congrats, you are in the minority and deserve acknowledgement!

Regardless of the boat you are in, this check-in is a mechanism to regroup, refocus, and realign as necessary. It’s not meant to kick your butt or make you feel bad for not being further along than where you’d wish you’d be. The check-in is meant to course correct as necessary. And, this applies to whether you’ve been moving along or not. You want to make sure you are always on your best-known path…

Personally, I like to use the quarterly check-ins to trim off the fat of my usually overly ambitious agenda. I streamline it to what I really want to get done for the quarter… This is a purge to let go of projects, tasks, and routines that might be too much to accomplish or serve as distractions for making the desired dent in the last stretch of the quarter. It’s used to hone-in on accomplishing and experiencing what would make a difference.

Look at your goals and daily approach, and aggressively pare down on the over-ambitiousness, noise, and irrelevant to your progress and enjoyment focusing only on what will result in added Value and Joy:

  • Leave only that elegant project to complete by the end of the quarter. Cut out miscellaneous little projects or to-dos…
  • Leave also very targeted self-care and connection habits. Cut out the fluff that feel like time-wasters and that don’t make that much of a difference to you in the moment and long-term…
  • Leave commitments that enrich your life. Cut out the ones that stress you out or make you feel bad about yourself…
  • Leave functional tasks that make your life run smooth. Automate, delegate, outsource, or pause any other tasks that you hate to do, are time-sucks, or that can wait…

The idea is to focus on ROI (return on investment) as much as possible so you cross the finish line with the gold.

This is also a great time to check-in with your Partner about the status of things:

  • How are you seeing and experiencing each other? If your partner is getting on your nerves, remember the 80/20 rule. Where 80% of what is bothering you is actually about you, and 20% about how your partner is being and what they are doing… It’s time to check your relationship mindset!
  • How is your communication and are you on the same page? If your communication is not flowing well, if you are having frequent arguments, if arguments are explosive, and if it takes a while to regroup from negative interactions then your communication skills might need a little upgrading… It’s time to reinstate the tools you already have or get new ones!
  • How is your relationship dynamic? Have any dissatisfying/negative recurring patterns? If you find that you are still (or again) power-struggling, your needs are probably not being met appropriately. It’s time to revisit how your needs are being met and how to meet them better!
  • How is your connection and intimacy? If you feel like two ships passing in the night. If you find that you are always together, but things are friends/roommate-like and boring. If you are having little physical intimacy and affection. You might be focusing too much on your professional and/or domestic life, and not enough on being partners/lovers… It’s time to refocus on the people in the relationship vs the roles and tasks!
  • How is your partnership? Are you a well-oiled machine? If you find you are not current with each, not supporting each other, not sharing responsibilities somewhat evenly, and/or not working towards a common goal, you don’t have a good structure and systems in place to help you collaborate and properly run the joint business of life. It’s time to get your house in order!

Take that feedback to help you regroup and reprioritize for Q2… Make sure you set relationship goals. Make sure that you explore behavior changes and create new relationship enrichment and connection habits. Make sure you sprinkle relationship nurturing rituals into the mix. This is your H.W., to set up your relationship to be more amazing in Q2!

For now, make a commitment to wrap up this quarter well, and regroup for the next one to stay in alignment with creating your successful relationship and meaningful life, your best life yet this year! 

Remember to complete the MetroRelationsip™ Assignment below to help you effortlessly implement this, make changes and immediately start creating your Successful Relationship and Meaningful Life…

Share your experience by leaving a comment below! 

Happy Regrouping!



~ Your MetroRelationship™ Assignment  

Set time aside this weekend to review your Q1, and to review the status of your relationship with your partner.

Discuss how to wrap Q1 with a Bam, and what you want to institute for Relationship Enrichment in Q2.

Keep it light, forgiving, and as merely an exercise in designing and creating the life you want…

Add this to your Tool Kit…




   Copyright (c) 2019 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.


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Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com


About Emma

Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT has been in the mental health profession in varying capacities for the past 20+ years. She is the Founder and Director of MetroRelationship.com a psychotherapy and coaching practice specializing in working with busy professional and entrepreneurial couples who are struggling getting on the same page and feeling connected. The work helps couples create a radiant and successful relationship and meaningful life by becoming a strong partnership and increasing their connection, intimacy, and fun. Emma is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Relationship Strategy™.

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