Did you ever stop to think about what is real nurturing? How do we properly give and show love to our lovies? How do we give TLC without caretaking, being codependent, or at our expense? How do we give selflessly without losing ourselves? How can we be super abundant and generous? How can we be expansive in our relating?
Most people don’t stop to think about these things, I get it. LOL But, I’m sure you’ve wondered about them when you’ve felt stuck or after a fight with your partner, that there has to be a better way. Yes?
The thing is that we are trying too hard at not being stuck or at not fighting, when that is keeping us focused on just that and therefore creating more of the same… Have you heard the saying, What you resist, persists?
What if we were to let go of trying so hard, and just decided to show up with our most loving, available, and compassionate self? What if we decided that it’s ok that our partner didn’t use their perfect language and vocabulary? What if we decided that it’s ok that our partner is grumpy? What if we decided that it’s ok that our partner forgot to take out the garbage?
What if we decided it’s ok for our partner to be imperfect? For after all they are also on a Journey…
What if we decided that we just need to focus on showing up the best we can muster? Period. And that it’s ok when we are not perfect?
What if we decided to just be nice to our partner? To give without strings attached? To give generously? To give what they desire, not what we want to give? To give in their love language? To invest in delighting them? To invest in creating harmony, joy and laughter?
What if our focus was to learn ourselves, and to be curious about our partner without judgement? To just show up to the same space without expectations that they should be in any particular way?
What if we were to also graciously receive their presence and what they offer? What if we were to just take them in, even in their fumbled attempts at connection? What if we were to suspend all judgement, criticism, expectations, demands, and such?
What if we got out of the way of our partner showing up for us? What if we notice our partner’s attempts at being nice, at connecting, at giving, at caring, at being friendly, at being funny, at being sexy, and at all the things…?
You see, we have a tendency to be funny at giving and receiving… We think we give all this, but do we really? We think our partner doesn’t do squat, but is that true? We seriously have got to remove our biased lens and transcend this way of showing up and perceiving our partner and our relationship…
Stop making a case for your circumstances, for your limitations and for how your partner sucks. What is the point in that? What are you trying to prove? What do you get out of that? I know that when partners stop all that noise, and focus on their side of the equation, that’s when they transform their relationship and their life.
Please stop, if you just had the thought that you’ve been doing all the right things, but your partner hasn’t! You must eradicate this thinking at the root. Just focusing on what your partner has and hasn’t done in and of itself is keeping you stuck!
Focus Instead on Real Nurturing™:
~ Giving Generously – from abundance and expansion, with no strings attached, and from their love language
~ Receiving Graciously – with clean lenses on and with an open mind, with no meaning attached, and from attunement
Hey, I know this is easier said than that, as us getting in our own way is so prevalent. Our stories, scripts, programs and patterns if unaddressed have a sure way of undermining the best of our intentions.
If you struggle with giving and receiving seamlessly in your relationship, I’d start with some reprogramming and self-love first…
Just know that it’s ok that this is challenging, but that slow and steady wins the raise. You’ll get there!
WATCH THE RELATED VIDEO: Real Nurturing
GET THE RELATED THEME GUIDE: CoDependence Quiz
APPLICATION: It is time to get more out of your relationship and your life… The simple way is to stop doing and worrying so much and be and enjoy more…
~ Be with the idea of having Real Nurturing in your relationship…
~ Let go of all the doing, controlling, demanding, expecting, manipulating, and such…
~ Get yourself in a receiving mode… by connecting with your Higher Self…
~ Transcend the lack and the judgement…
~ Choose to be unconditionally nice, giving and loving…
Aligning yourself seamlessly sets you up for Real Nurturing… Give generously, receive graciously…
Wishing you all the joy, connection and love today and always…
With Much Love & Light!
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Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com