Why settle for a mediocre relationship and life when you can have an extraordinary relationship and life? Extraordinary does not mean complex, chaotic, demanding and such. People choose simple because it is easier, but extraordinary doesn’t have to be complicated…
They might already have a pretty good relationship and life, they are comfortable, and so they settle for good. That’s fine if that’s what you want. But in my book, if we are going to live this life, we might as well make it great- including our relationship. No?
I’m going to assume that you are in the camp of wanting to make your relationship and your life great otherwise you wouldn’t be reading this or be part of our family…
So, how do we make our relationship and our life great? It is actually really simple, we expect it, we plan for it, and we strive towards it…
You see the first issue is that we don’t believe we can have our best relationship and our best life… At some level we don’t believe we deserve it… We give up before we even get started!
Then, we get a commitment from our partner and start making some strides in life and we get comfy. We neglect our partner and don’t stretch ourselves into the best we can be. We bang around in our relationship and our life… We plan parties and vacations more than we plan our relationship and our life…
And finally, we don’t support ourselves in working towards creating what we desire. We don’t have a working strategy for creating what we want. We don’t have a way to stay the course, invest seamlessly, and enjoy the process on the way.
How are we then supposed to move from Good to Great? Not for nothing people settle or struggle…
But like we already established, this doesn’t have to be complicated, challenging, or complex… It just takes commitment, focus, and intentionality to address your programming, your planning, and your grit…
Let’s start right now, shall we?
PROGRAMMING – You don’t believe you can have an epic love affair with your partner, have a radiant and successful relationship, and extraordinary life because you don’t believe you deserve it…
You might think it’s impossible to create these for all the reasons you give yourself- like your partner is emotionally stunted or not game, you are both too busy to nurture your relationship and besides you don’t even know how, it’s embarrassing to explore more with your partner, one or both of you have insecurities and/or commitment issues, and so on…
And that was just in terms of your relationship… What reasons- excuses do you come up with when it comes to your life?
In the meantime, at a deeper level, your programming of being unworthy and undeserving is wreaking havoc… This is why you have repeating patterns in your life, this is why you can’t seem to get ahead, this is why everything feels hard, this is why you have physical and mental health issues, this is why there is other funky stuff in your life…
Antidote:
~ A simple solution is to implement a Self-Love Practice that in and of itself helps unravel the programming as you are showing yourself you are deserving and worthy by giving love to yourself…
~ Another simple way to do reprogramming is by doing 30-Day Challenges to address egoic patterns…
PLANNING – How are you supposed to create or build something without a blueprint? How are you supposed to go on a trip without an itinerary? How are you supposed to win the game without a game plan? Whatever analogy resonates for you, let’s take it to heart.
Do you plan parties or vacations? Or does your partner? Regardless, as a couple you probably put in more time into planning these than planning your relationship and your life… You might have given some thought to your home renovations, your investments, your children’s college tuition, and your retirement, but is that the extent of it?
Now, I know you might not even have done those. It’s ok, we are not here to shame you. Just highlighting that your life can use a little more intentionality, that’s all. And, if you have done those, you might be asking what else is there.
Your Game Plan is to be a simple blueprint for creating your best relationship and your best life, not just a basic life… It’s a plan to move from Good to Great…
Antidote:
~ Now, a Game Plan, a Strategy, and such might seem overwhelming and tedious. But let’s make this as simple as possible… Choose an aspect of your relationship or life that you’d like to take to the next level and explore what would that feel and look like once you achieve it. Now take an action to start getting you closer to that desire. After the action, choose the next, and then the next and so on until before you know it you’d have gotten to the next level…
~ If you are more ambitious, map out steps, tactics, habits, activities, support and milestones to add to your daily routine and weekly and monthly rhythms to crank towards your desires…
GRIT – People usually shy away from “hard work”, dedication, commitment, focus, loyalty, and other personal characteristics and habits because they have a wobbly sense of self. They don’t believe in themselves and have an identity that aligns with that, which of course doesn’t include self-discipline and such…
Some people are born with grit others can cultivate it… If you are one of the lucky ones for whom this is inherently part of your make up, acknowledge this blessing and appreciate it for you are ahead of the game. If you are one of who don’t identify as having grit, no worries- there are ways around this. We can help you build grit and get your jump start while you cultivate it…
The point about grit is that you need this to stay the course, to invest consistently in what you desire, to keep trying until you crack the code, to stay on it until you get what you want…
Now, you might be thinking, Yikes, that’s intense, who wants to live like that? Well, my friend, that’s what it takes to create an extraordinary relationship and life. Otherwise, we are on the other side, the settling for mediocre side… But I promise, we’ll do this simply and with ease…
Antidote:
~ This part might feel really scary, but it doesn’t have to be. First things first, identify a character strength you’d like to develop that would support you in your Journey. Then set about exploring and practicing this character strength daily.
~ Secondly, you don’t have to depend on poor sheer will power and self-discipline to make things happen. Instead, leverage tools (i.e., calendar, reminders, bill pay), automation (i.e., recurring events, autoresponders, automatic deposits/transfers), support (i.e., accountability, subscriptions, concierges), habits (i.e., wellness, connection and success habits), and such to have your own back.
Just keep putting one foot in front of the other and eventually you get there…
So, seamlessly, simply, and with ease you can stay the course and move from a good relationship and life to great ones. It doesn’t have to be challenging to create your radiant and successful relationship and meaningful life… Be extraordinary my friend, create greatness!
WATCH THE RELATED REEL ON IG: From Good to Great
GET THE RELATED THEME GUIDE: Find Your Purpose
APPLICATION: Make a decision to be extraordinary and to create greatness, to move from Good to Great in your relationship and your life…
Choose the area that needs the most attention first to get the most leverage creating what you desire, and dig in with gusto into that area till you feel your shift and start getting traction towards creating what you desire…
~ Programming
Implement a Self-Love Practice
Play with 30-Day Challenges
~ Planning
Embrace An Action at a Time
Map Out Your Steps/Actions
~ Grit
Develop Character Strengths
Implement Systems and Habits
Here is to the best Summer Upleveling™ yet!
Wishing you all the joy, connection and love today and always…
With Much Love & Light!
PS: Masterclasses
💐 If you missed our recent Masterclasses, you can still get them through our Member Center:
~ A Self-Love Strategy for Creating Your Best Life – Designing and implementing your personalized self-love practice
~ Relationship Enrichment Mini Retreat – Reprogramming and shifting for connecting more deeply and creating the relationship you desire
~ Feeling Stuck and Spring Cleaning is NOT Cutting it – Deconstructing and reconstructing yourself to unleash the radiance within
~ Create an Epic Love Affair with Your Partner – Addressing the struggle and upleveling your relationship to create your epic love affair
~ Get Unstuck with Self ReParenting – Transmuting the patterns keeping you stuck by reprogramming yourself through inner child work
~ Thriving After Infidelity™ – Stop the torture that comes from discovery, get your new footing, and transform your relationship so that’s better than ever before…
They include gorgeous workbooks of transformational processes
💐 Not a member? No worries, join us with a Lifestyle Membership. This Membership includes access to our private community, full access to our Member Center and previous content, and access to upcoming Masterclasses at no additional cost, all for only $29 per month.
Copyright (c) 2022 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
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Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com
