Boy, oh boy! Are people struggling right about now. If this is you, please know you are not alone and do not worry we’ll get you out of the funk soon enough! There are plenty of reasons for potentially not feeling well:
Crunch time at work or business, spotlight on life success, overwhelm with the holidays, financial concerns, family-of-origin stressful dynamics and painful memories, relationship dissatisfaction or spotlight on relationship status, over commitment in all areas of life, poor health, fatigue or burn out, and so many others.Unfortunately, this is pretty universal. But you don’t have to let it kick your butt and stay in the funky place!
Let’s shift gears from any funk before we keep tackling our HYP (Holiday and Year-End Process™). If you are not feeling so hot, you have to build in a breather to reset yourself. There is no sense in pushing through, you’ll just make things worse! A breather can be as simple as that – take a few deep breaths when you are feeling down or agitated. This is for immediately managing a moment…
But obviously that’s not enough to turn things around. I’m suggesting also a bit of a larger breather, but that is still not too large. I’m mindful that the experience of lack of time can be part of the issue… So, build your Respite Breather™ into your routine for within the next 24 to 48 hours for anything from 15 min to 90 min… Any version of this investment will do wonders for your state of mind.
During your respite, check with yourself for what’s happening – identify what is triggering your funky feelings. Capture all the different things that are bringing you down or stressing you out, or both, on a piece of paper. Take a deep breath when you finish and give yourself a hug/acknowledgement for holding all this.
Next, pick the one item that is really bothering you and identify a way to address it immediately. Even if it’s not fully resolved, just do something about it! This is relieving and empowering in and of itself…
Remember that you don’t have to struggle or go it alone –
please get assistance or support ASAP
if you can’t seem to get a handle on this.
Switching gears to the funner things, it’s time to tackle Aspect 4 of your HYP. Yay, we are almost there! This is the kind of play I really enjoy. This is when we do Visioning and create our Life Strategic Plan™ to create the life we desire. This is when we Dream and Design. This is when we light our fire for the upcoming year… This is how we inspire and motivate ourselves…
Life Strategic Plan™
Envision your desired relationship and life with your partner in as much detail and feeling as possible. Capture all areas – your ideal day, health/wellness, environments, finances, intimacy, fun, giving back, etc. Write it all out and feel how you’d feel when that picture is real.
ONE – List all the awesome feelings you felt – free, inspired, joyful, abundant, loved, etc. Now, find those feelings in your current life… They are already there… Identify when you feel like that… This is an exercise in living an unconditional life. You don’t need specific conditions to feel great…
TWO – But, because we are striving and creating human beings, living the status quo is not enough and is therefore not an option. We are Alive in our striving and creating…
>> Go back to your vision and pick the top 3 areas that would create the greatest shift in your life if they were different – these are the areas you want to enhance next year (i.e., finances, relationship/s, wellness). Design a milestone to work towards in creating your desire for each of them.
For example, for Relationship:
I have a strong partnership with my husband in which we cocreate our amazing life and enjoy consistent connection.
>> Then create 2 supportive measurable and repeatable behaviors for the three Life Areas you chose to develop, to create new habits and way of being, and integrate them into your life style.
For the example above, for Relationship:
1) We speak every weekday at lunchtime to touch base and connect.
2) We check-in on Sunday evenings about expectations, plans, to-knows and to-dos for the upcoming week.
This is simple yet extremely powerful. You don’t need to turn your life upside down or a new partner to create the relationship and life you desire… Block off some time to do your Visioning and Strategizing within the next two weeks. Keep this commitment with yourself…
Stay tuned for the next issue building on this to help you start the next year right!
Remember to complete the MetroRelationsip™ Assignment below to help you effortlessly implement this, make changes and immediately start creating your Successful Relationship and Meaningful Life…
Share your experience by leaving a comment below!
~ Your MetroRelationship™ Assignment
Make what’s left of the year count, don’t just survive. Thrive!
- Invite your partner to do the Visioning and Strategizing also:
- Share your Designs with each other
- Acknowledge the beauty in each other’s Plan
- Ask for specific actionable support from your partner to assist you implement a particular challenging new behavior
- Sprinkle your days till the end of the year with self-care, inspiring, nurturing, recharging or soothing rituals. Here are some suggestions:
- Step-up your Mindfulness Practice
- Keep a Gratitude Journal
- List Appreciations
- Read inspiring literature or messages
- Build-in Silent Time™ (your own personal “silent retreat”)
- Schedule pampering
- Do Devoted Actions™ (similar to Karma Yoga)
- Prepare or purchase on-the-go nutritious snacks
- Listen to upbeat music
- Play hooky!
Give your Self, and each other, lots of love and care the rest of this Holiday Season!
Add this to your Tool Kit…
Copyright (c) 2018 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
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Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.