I’ve been told that I’m a hopeless romantic and that my steadfast positive outlook could be nauseating. LOL Yes, I believe people can change for the better. Yes, I believe relationships can change for the better. When people waiver, they can find this annoying or experience it as a pillar of strength… What team are you on?
Believe me, sometimes it is better to call it quits. But I find that some don’t put in enough well concerted nurturing to create a change in their relationship before they give up. They rather feel tortured, or give up, than do something different themselves… We only have control over what we contribute… This time of year is really challenging for couples. “Blue Season” is harsh on relationships. Your struggle might feel more daunting than usual. It might feel like it is time to call it quits. How do we know when it’s time to call it quits?
Well, I teach our couples not to make a decision when not feeling well, when in transition, during a rough patch, when intoxicated, during a fight and such. When people chill out and the storm has passed, they usually regret their decision. This is why you see couples that break-up, make-up, break-up, make-up, and so on. When partners tell me they broke-up, I take that as a grain of salt.
The key is not to stay together for the sake of staying together. What’s the point in that? I’m talking about staying together and creating an amazing relationship. This takes focus, intention, nurturing, kindness, mercy, appreciation, gratitude, and personal accountability. It doesn’t work when you complain about the other not having personal accountability…
When we focus on what the other is doing or not doing, we miss the boat. Then we wonder how come we can’t get traction… If you are complaining about your partner even if only to yourself in your head, STOP. You are just torturing yourself and won’t be creating an amazing relationship any time soon…
SO, around now I like to combat the Blues and relationship woes with a Love Launch™, in the name of what I usually call the Valentine’s Day Season. J This Love Launch is about stepping it up in showing love, starting today!
During the 4 Weekends leading to Valentine’s Day (or another occasion, or just because!), you are to make a real concerted investment at nurturing your relationship.
COUNTDOWN – Weekend #4
This weekend you are to do at least three (3) of the following:
- Select a chunk of time to Gift to your partner for their personal use – you take care of all the responsibilities that go along with the selected time (give a chunk that your partner would appreciate not that is convenient for you – make it count!)
- Give a chunk of time with your undivided attention to your partner to do something they want
- Do a chore or take care of a responsibility you normally wouldn’t do
- Cook, order, set up, make reservations, whatever for all of your partner’s favorite foods
- Do a pampering gesture that you know your partner enjoys
- Give extra affection the way your partner likes it
- Be generous with appreciations, acknowledgements, compliments, and praise
- Tell your partner a bunch of things you love about them
- Pick up a little treasure gift that will touch your partner’s heart
- Pick up a practical, luxurious, fun, sexy, or what makes the most sense right now gift or your partner
- Ask your partner which three (3) they want if they are all the same to you, or if you are OK being stretched
- Choose the three (3) you want to do and give your partner the heads up
- Choose and do your three (3) without telling your partner what’s up (see what happens…)
In any case, the investment is Fun. Do it with gusto and to please your partner. Put on the “dating lens” – remember you’d do anything for your partner then…? Go all out to make an impression. And, you enjoy the process as you go…
Let’s keep rocking more Love not only to combat the blues but also obviously to create our successful relationship!
Stay tuned for next week’s post on Weekend #3 of our Love Launch!
Complete the MetroRelationsip™ Assignment below to help you effortlessly implement this, make changes and immediately start creating your Successful Relationship and Meaningful Life…
~ Your MetroRelationship™ Assignment
Plan out how to carry out your Love Launch™ nurturing behaviors to build anticipation, for follow thru, for a richer experience so you both get tons from the investment!
- Make a list of things to share if you are doing the Words of Affirmation type of nurturing
- Plan out meals ahead of time – don’t leave it as a spur of the moment choice or decision…
- Get on the same page early about chores, childcare, and such
- Go shopping early – don’t leave it for Sunday night…
Add this to your Tool Kit…
Copyright (c) 2018 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
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Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.