Our body is our most important possession. It houses, protects and enables our most precious possession – our brain. Our brain creates and generates our mind and the essence of us. It makes us who we are on a daily basis. It is the CEO of Me, Inc. It is the master mind of our life. Some say it is where our soul resides.
The beauty of it is that even after acknowledging this the brain still remains a mystery. Brain scientists have come a long way figuring out a lot about how the brain works, what different parts of the brain do and how it all fits together, but we still have longer to go. As a species, we only use a small percentage of our brain and its potential. The scary part is that most of us do not even fully tap into the percentage that we are supposed to be using!
One brain ability that most people might not be aware of and that is definitely not tapped into enough, is that of being in connection with our fellow human beings, and even the universe at large…, by ways other than talking, touching and the like. The brain can be likened to a radio transmitter where it is constantly sending and receiving messages. We are in constant communication with others whether we are aware of it or not.
This is a major concept to take in: Yes, we are constantly sending to and receiving messages from others – good and bad. Take a moment to take that in. The implications of this are massive. This means that all of humanity is interconnected. That we are all connected in the fabric of life.
That we are all connected as human beings and with the universe at all times. The application of this is infinite. When we tap into this tremendous resource we can conquer life!
This is obviously also true in your relationship. You are in constant connection and communication with your partner. The vibes you send out reach your partner loud and clear. Your energy in your relationship is picked up by your partner loud and clear. And, vice versa. What are you sending out? Are you sending desperate, needy, mean, aggressive, conniving, deceitful, isolating, rejecting, “leave me alone” kind of messages?
This can shed light into the common Maximizer (all is big, emotional) / Pursuer and Minimizer (all is small, appears emotionless until pushed to anger) / Distancer dynamic in couples. The Pursuer wants to do things together, the Distancer wants space. The pursuer says, “I haven’t even asked to hang out all week, and when I ask for 5 minutes all hell breaks loose.” The distancer says, “We spent all day together Saturday!”
But the Pursuer has been thinking about their partner 24/7, how little they get, how selfish their partner is, how little their partner gives them and the like. The Distancer has been thinking about how to get away, how to get a breather, how their partner is needy, how they would like 5 minutes to themselves and the like.
The partners’ vibes are speaking louder than their behavior (words and actions). The messages are loud and clear and not consistent with the superficial behavior. Partners are not aware that their energy is transparent, that their vibes are giving them away. In their interactions they unconsciously react using the knowledge picked up from the vibes.
The partners are left in a state of dissonance and feeling out of sync, disconnected, not on the same page, and misunderstood.
Partners are actually very in sync with one another. They are picking it all up. They know everything they need to know… All they have to do is mindfully and consciously tap into their invisible connection and source of knowledge and operate from this wisdom!
This is not about making assumptions, mind reading or owning our partner. This is about being in touch with our source of knowledge, our ability to intuit, and our hunches. This is about using our gut feelings. This is about being empathetic, compassionate and understanding. Our partner’s vibes and energy convey their turmoil, hurt and needs.
We can be consciously in touch with that and start feeling in sync and connected. We can be consciously in touch with that and do our share of the nurturing and healing. Remember, we are all interconnected – in giving to our partner we are also giving to ourselves…
Own your self and put your self to work. Harness your brain power. Let your mind do its magic. Tap into your energy, straighten out your energy, focus your energy and unleash it on the world!!
Happy Minding!!
~ Your MetroRelationship™ Assignment
Invite your partner into a Tapping into Our Energy couples project. You may create a couple ritual, add an activity into your routine as a couple or individually to assist you tap into your energies and use them to feel connected, in sync, understood and gotten. Here are some activities that can assist you tap into your energies:
1) Power walk, jog, run, ride your bikes, go hiking 2) Do Yoga, quiet your mind 3) Pray, meditate, self-hypnotize, positively and creatively visualize 4) Sit in nature, sit in front of a fire place in silence 5) Read scriptures, read other inspiring materials 6) Journal 7) Paint, draw, sketch, photograph 8) Listen to classical music, listen to sounds of nature 9) Cuddle in silence, hold hands 10) Get a massage, take a bubble bath, burn scented candles
BONUS TIP: Go to a silence retreat
Copyright (c) 2016 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
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Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
