I hear how every year appears to go quicker and faster for some as their lives get busier and more complicated in their attempt to keep up with the pace of our ever moving society. This is a challenging pull to evade fraught with consequences for the relationship. We become distracted from our partner, our connection, and our love and in so doing we loose sight of each other and move away from our happiness.
Recently I had a client question why partners become disconnected. In the discussion that ensued, she very creatively metaphorsized. the relationship between partners as being like the tide, with partners moving in and moving out. She envisioned the partners being in sync with one another in their need for closeness and space, and problems occurring when the partners back away from the incoming tide and thus getting out of sync. (Thanks Sandie for the great image!)
As we get side tracked with life and get busy not making time surf we get out of practice with being intimate. When we see the waves rolling in, we become frightened and either don’t move in to join them or run away from them. Our insurmountable daily tasks and chores usually keep us from being fully present in the moment and available to ourselves and our partner. We keep pace without taking moments to be in our life. Inevitably, we loose sight of who we and our partner are. It is scary as heck to be intimate with a stranger and not knowing what we are even bringing to the interaction! This is dissatisfaction in the making!!
Therefore, I want to invite you to resist the pull to do more and faster. I want you to slow down and start savoring each moment. Become aware of your state of mind and physical being as you do this. Just check in. Look for the beautiful in your day. Get reacquainted with yourself. Recognize the blessings in your life – there are many as you start to pay attention, be grateful. Feel contentment envelop you as you acknowledge what you already have and the beauty in the world around you. We work very hard for more but we can’t have more until we acknowledge and savor what we already have. We are usually spinning our wheels. Stop the madness now!
A more grateful and appreciative, relaxed, attuned, aware, and awake you makes for great company for yourself and your partner! This is a place of abundance. This is a place of Joyfulness and Peace where Giving becomes spontaneous!!
~ Your MetroRelationship™ Assignment
Slow down! Clean out your to do list. Simplify tasks and projects. Automate. Delegate. Hire out. Streamline. Declutter. Make your new mantra: Less is More. Organize and keep order. Create systems to make doing easier. This creates more time, space, and serenity – wonderful resources to gift to your relationship.
Copyright (c) 2016 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
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Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.