I’m sure you are familiar with sayings such as, What you focus on grows, What you focus on you get wrapped up in, What we resist persists, and so on. We too often let our negativity bias rule the day. We are wired for survival- our ancestors benefitted greatly from our bias to look out for danger.
But we no longer are so dependent on this programming. If anything, it hinders us. Any threat to the status quo and up in arms we go… We get in our own way of getting out of our comfort zone, stretching, and evolving… And this is unfortunate because this is where change occurs, how we create the reality we desire. In exploring the unknown and embracing risk is how we experience the Magic and Magnificence life has to offer…
What if we were to do a Relationship and Life Audit, identify the things we want to upgrade, decide we are going for the next level and make a commitment to creating something different, and methodically and systematically go about creating this change?
If we did that, we’d make strides towards creating what we set out to create. But note, this level of outward focus is not enough- it can only take us so far on its own… This is what is called white-knuckling in some circles. Things don’t come from just shear effort. What happens a lot of times is that we lose momentum and even sabotage ourselves if the inner focus is not in alignment…
Let’s say that we are focused on creating more connection, intimacy, and fun with our partner. Let’s also say that we have unprocessed or unaddressed personal history and have fear, mistrust, unworthiness, abandonment or other unresolved issues.
Then no matter how hard we work at enriching our relationship at the conscious level, our subconscious and unconscious programming are still running the show and our triggers and defenses undermine our efforts…
The task at hand here besides visioning, strategizing, planning, and tackling your upgrade…, is to do the inner work…
This has to do with:
- Addressing limiting beliefs and scripts, clarifying expectations, exploring desires
- Owning all parts of ourselves with compassion, coming out of the closet, owning our truth
- Becoming more authentic, being more transparent, and showing more vulnerability
- Healing wounds, addressing hurts, and getting our needs met
- Identifying and expanding who we are, choosing and owing our own identity
- Aligning our thinking, feelings, and actions for a more congruent and fluid experience
This work supports what we try to manifest on the outside. When we clean up, align, and update our inside, it shows in our outside. Our health and wellbeing are in tip top shape. Our relationship becomes more loving, supportive, fun, passionate. Our career, business or other endeavor becomes more meaningful and impactful. Our life is just more beautiful all around…
Decide what kind of relationship and life you Desire… Note, Desire literally means de sire, “of the Father”… Your desires were bestowed upon you by Universal Intelligence that created everything in existence…
So, if you feel desiring is not a great quality to have, please note it is your birth given right as a child of this Universe to want to expand, become more, thrive, flourish as everything else in nature. Even the Universe is expanding… Why wouldn’t you want to?
Then note what about you might get in the way of you creating or achieving what you desire. What patterns do you recognize in your relationship/s and your life? What is your usual complaint about people and things? Where is the place you usually get stuck? How far can you get before things regress again or you sabotage?
For example, you can only save so much money, you can only lose so much weight, you can sustain connection for only so long, and so on… Explore every nook and cranny of your being for these, grab as many as you can identify at this time.
These levels make up your current success thermostat… You can only get to a certain degree of success until the program kicks in and brings you back to the preset degree…
Your job is to do your inner work to reset, reprogram, your preset to the degree of success you really Desire…
This is how you quantum leap into the reality you desire for your relationship and your life…
WATCH THE RELATED REEL ON IG: Quantum Leap into Desired Reality
GET THE RELATED THEME GUIDE: Find Your Purpose
APPLICATION: In your time of meditation or contemplation, explore who you are and who you want to become…
Choose your Identity and identify what thoughts, feelings and behaviors might flow from this identity to start embracing the new you…
~ Check how you need to upgrade your thinking to be in alignment with how this person would think…
~ Set intentions to cultivate feelings this person might feel…
~ Set yourself up with habits that align with what this person might do…
Note what egoic responses come up and soothe and accept yourself…
Here is to the best Summer Upleveling™ yet!
Wishing you all the joy, connection and love today and always…
With Much Love & Light!
PS: Masterclasses
💐 If you missed our recent Masterclasses, you can still get them through our Member Center:
~ A Self-Love Strategy for Creating Your Best Life – Designing and implementing your personalized self-love practice
~ Relationship Enrichment Mini Retreat – Reprogramming and shifting for connecting more deeply and creating the relationship you desire
~ Feeling Stuck and Spring Cleaning is NOT Cutting it – Deconstructing and reconstructing yourself to unleash the radiance within
~ Create an Epic Love Affair with Your Partner – Addressing the struggle and upleveling your relationship to create your epic love affair
~ Get Unstuck with Self ReParenting – Transmuting the patterns keeping you stuck by reprogramming yourself through inner child work
~ Thriving After Infidelity™ – Stop the torture that comes from discovery, get your new footing, and transform your relationship so that’s better than ever before…
They include gorgeous workbooks of transformational processes
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Copyright (c) 2022 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
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Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
