The bottom line of the romantic relationship is feeling connected, loved and acknowledged. This is what we strive for in our relationship. This is of course not the only thing we want out of our relationship, but it sure is one of the top ones! This explains the need to partner up in life. We are social beings and need to live in relationship.
We know ourselves and exist in relationship with our partner. This is our mirror – we can see ourselves and know we exist in this reflection. Partners co-construct their existence. The romantic relationship’s inherent intimacy is fertile ground for feeling alive. It is, therefore, very scary and dismal to be alone in our relationship when one or both partners are absent. Our existence and aliveness becomes questionable.
This is why people feel distraught, hopeless, aimless, and stuck when their relationship is rocky. Their sense of self is shaken in the absence of a secure connection and their life appears meaningless, empty, and gloomy. It is difficult to behold our reflection, see with clarity and bear witness to the beauty, when looking into a shattered mirror.
For us to feel fully alive, revel in our relationship, and luxuriate in all life has to offer, we need to utilize this built-in existence co-creating mechanism in our relationship. When both partners are fully present in their relationship, they are accessible to each other and themselves. They bring forth all of themselves to play with. All the parts of themselves are activated and engaged. They can partake in all life brings them and attract all they want out of life. They can jointly co-create an amazing reality and life journey. They can be truly and fully alive and savor life!
But this is not a simple task. It is not easy to be fully present and available to ourselves and our partner. We have learned to loose, hide and deny parts of ourselves growing up, and we have created socially acceptable masks to wear. We have even developed coping mechanisms that keep us from one another and ourselves.
The Rx is to start being true to ourselves by exploring and developing ourselves, and then sharing this openly with our partner. Shine your mirror. Be present in your life and in your relationship, and experience Awakening! Plant and nurture the seeds of yourself in the garden of your relationship, and watch it bloom into life!
Happy Blooming!!!
~ Your MetroRelationship™ Assignment
Make a list of ten things you would like to try out or experience that you have not pursued or entertained. Include items to tantalize the senses. Be creative and don’t hold back. Now hop to it and enjoy!!
Copyright (c) 2016 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
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Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
