In my recent reading I have come across a piece of writing that has made me think of sexuality and physical intimacy from a different angle. I love when that happens! Give me material that sparks my creative juices and that I can integrate into my work for greater impact, and I’m a very happy camper. This is what tickles me!
Sexuality is commonly seen as physical love and a physical act with some recognition of its spiritual component. Usually we do not look at sex as a coming together of energies. But that is exactly what is happening. Our sexuality colors our energy and influences how we show up in the world. It impacts our style, what we radiate, and what we attract… It fuels our way of Being in the world, and our Aliveness.
When couples struggle with feeling attraction and having an active sex life, they are usually tired, out of sync, hang up on roles, responsibilities, and the mundane. They are stuck on looks and surface appearances. A lot of times work around physical intimacy revolves around addressing the above and getting partners out of their head… We create a lot of noise that impedes us from letting go, being vulnerable and able to connect and enjoy…
We might be able to get ourselves to enjoy a constructed mechanical moment where we might reach orgasm and feel close to our partner. But is this it? I’ve had plenty of conversations with clients around intimacy, attraction, passion, and having a real rewarding sexual relationship.
Partners not only get in their own way with the surface and practical side of their everyday life, but they are also missing the boat entirely around being sexual partners…
Yes, we use enriching sensuality through the senses as well to get things going… But this is not enough either. What is usually missing is the energetic showing up of the partners, the partners showing up with their Soul. Lovemaking is a spiritual experience… When our energies, our Souls connect, that’s where the Bam!, the OMG!, happens… This is the real definition of Intimacy.
Knowing and feeling your partner in a most vulnerable and available state… This is where the protections, defenses, walls come down and partners can Be with each other. This encounter is transcendent, pure bliss. As Dr. Judith Orloff writes, “Passion of the body is ignited by the passion of Heaven”…
I encounter all the time in my work with couples, how partners are not feeling sexual because of whatever their partner is or isn’t, is doing or isn’t doing… Can you imaging putting somebody else in charge of your sexuality, of your sex life? Yet, this is what we do. We do not need another person, a partner to be or feel sexual… This notion is extremely disempowering… We can be sexual beings and come to the party ready to party…
Get in touch with your own unique allure… Get in touch with and connect with your energy. Detach and observe your Self. Witness your Self. Feel your Self. Feel your energy. Feel your Soul. Embrace all of you. Accept all of you past the Surface and looks… Own and nourish your physicality (nutrition, hydration, rest, exercise and pampering) keeping yourself healthy and energized. Nourishment feeds passion…
Sexuality is a holy force of healing of mind, body and spirit… Embrace more fully this part of being human and integrate it with gusto into your life, and into your relationship! Feel sexual, be sexual, be passionate! Share your Passion with your Partner!
Complete the MetroRelationship™ Assignment below to help you effortlessly implement this, make changes and immediately start experiencing your awesome relationship, and Authentic Life… Happy Sharing!
~ Your MetroRelationship™ Assignment –
Has your sex life been on pause? Do you feel stuck sexually with your partner? Do you find having sexual relations to be a chore? Do you find that when you finally sync-up to be physically intimate that it is not all that? Take a moment to ponder these questions.
Sit in quiet and turn inward. Take a deep breath… Once grounded, ask your most vulnerable part of yourself, what is holding you back from an exciting, passionate, truly intimate, and unifying sexual relationship with your partner. Don’t judge the answer. This is a gift… This is your healing and growth place…
Translate your answer into an action you can take immediately to start addressing your healing and growth…
Add this to your Tool Kit…
Copyright (c) 2016 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
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Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
