We all have our holidays traditions, but are yours giving you joy and filling your heart? Following holiday traditions doesn’t mean driving ourselves into the ground with so many to-dos just to check off the boxes of all the things that should get done during the holiday season. I think it’s time to rethink all the extra things we do just for the sake of doing them… Uplevel your holidays with enriching traditions.
But can we even tell the difference between just holidays to-dos and meaningful traditions we value?
If the task or plan feels heavy, burdensome, tedious, or overwhelming, that’s a pretty good sign that it no longer resonates with you, or possibly never did. It can also mean you might be going about it an outdated way, or that there are wounds and patterns that are getting triggered…
Traditions and rituals promote the identity of the couple and the family and serve to transfer values and meaning to the next generation.
If your holidays typically leave you feeling spent, triggered and all out of sorts, that’s a good indication that the way you go about the holidays is not serving you.
Here are some examples of thing I’ve come across that you might relate to:
- Spending hours hunting deals on Black Friday and Cyber Monday and thereafter
- Buying things just because they are a good deal
- Getting distracted or triggered by all the hoopla of the sales and deals
- Going beyond means to buy gifts and putting spending on credit cards that already carry balances
- Going to a multitude of parties, outings, and other gatherings spreading ourselves thin
- Overindulging in food and drink and other substances
- Letting go of self-care and mindfulness practices because the daily routine changed
- Decorating and gifting with candy and other overly processed consumables
- Doing holiday cards, albums, calendars, mugs, pillows, and the like with photos of the children
- Giving chotskies for the sake of giving something
- Participating in multiple drives and volunteer opportunities
- Cooking and baking, or catering, as if for an army and having most of it go to waste
- Staying up till hours of the night cooking or wrapping presents
- Having the holidays revolve around gift giving
- Having celebrations revolve around alcohol/substances consumption and monitoring
- Having the ritual of going back to the stores to do returns the day after Christmas
The theme here is in overdoing, overindulging, and overall excess- all usually at our, others, and the planet’s expense in one form or another…
I challenge you to review all your holiday to-dos, traditions, and rituals for what is enriching, meaningful and joyful about them. How are they encouraging and promoting your values? And, to identify if they are just a bunch of checkmarks on your list or excessive.
Decide now how you’d like the rest of the holiday season to go. What do you need to tweak in your approach to have truly replenishing and rejoicing holidays.
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APPLICATION: Invite your partner and family members to do a Holidays Review…
~ Review your to-dos, traditions and rituals for their tediousness and heaviness or enrichment and joyfulness quotient
~ Identify if your approach is capturing and reflecting your true values (not what you value because of a pattern or defense mechanism and as a form of compensation…)
~ Decide what you will no longer do and take an action toward eliminating that as necessary
~ Decide what might be missing to add spark, meaning and joy and take an action toward integrating more richness flowing from your values
~ You’ll know you are on the right track as you feel delighted and joyful as you make progress towards designing and planning your holiday celebrations
Let the focus these holidays be on genuine and generous giving, not on checkmark giving…
Let the season be truly magical by entwining the essence of the holidays with the essence of you and yours.
Enjoy (be) the holidays, don’t do the holidays…
Wishing you all the joy, connection and love today and always…
With Much Love & Light!
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Copyright (c) 2022 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
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Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.