Use 30-day challenges to change your patterns…


Have you noticed that when you think you want to make a change, that something happens to undermine it and make you go back to the old ways? This is your ego on overdrive at protecting you. It makes excuses and sabotages things to keep the status quo as the known is safer than the unknown…

Unfortunately, this protection keeps you small and holds you back from your evolution and from your best life. Use 30-day challenges to change your patterns…

Our life is a big old habit. Everything we do is out of habit. Our daily routine is a habit. Our thoughts, our feelings, our actions are all habits… How we make decisions, how we approach tasks, how we collaborate, how we work, and so on are all habits… Our personality is a habit… Who we are is a habit…

Have you ever noticed that something might happen that you don’t consider cool and that normally would trigger you, but you are not triggered and as soon as you notice you get upset…?

Or something might happen or is said that you don’t agree with, it goes against you, it breaks a commitment or such that you believe should make you mad, so you get mad?

There are plenty of examples like this. We live by templates and follow them accordingly.

When we try to make any kind of change, including changing or starting a new habit, our ego jumps in to maintain the status quo as it sees change as a threat…

This is why it’s so difficult to create change in our lives… Even when things change on their own, we resist them…

So, we will no longer have any of this going forward… Let’s agree that starting today we will welcome change, we will pursue change, and we will embrace change. Yes?

All our patterns and habits are defenses mounted by our ego…  Therefore, the key to creating change is to tame our ego… Let’s get really strategic about addressing our egoic patterns. This doesn’t have to take a rocket scientist or a PhD in psychology. Let’s make this as simple as possible.

I offer you a very simple and down to earth approach to tackling changing egoic patterns in your life.

I suggest embracing 30-Day Challenges as a way to get out of our own way, to disarm the ego, to interrupt and change our current patterns…

For you see a challenge, challenges you… You put in all your resources into it, as opposed to winging trying to create change in a different way. You plan for it, you accommodate for it, you stay focused on it, you are excited about it and you are proud of it. From this place you can disarm and soothe the ego much more easily than if you go in nilly-willy.

Get creative as to your 30-Day Challenge… You can select or create a challenge that supports the change you are trying to make.

The way to do that is to identify what is at the core of the change you want to make – do you want to be more focused, get healthier, strengthen your relationship, build self-esteem, add more joy into your life, expand your self-care practice, remove toxicity from your life, and such… Check out the 30-Day Challenges List I created to help us do this work.

It is very interesting to observe the ego’s machinations as we entertain this, start playing with it and go for it… Stay observant of what comes up, the excuses, the noise, the sabotage… Stay the course by soothing yourself, keep on with ease, compassion and love. Stay present. Reassure your ego that all is well…

Get beneath what the old pattern is protecting you from… What trauma, what triggers, what fears, what wounds are still fermenting somewhere inside you? Be gentle, be understanding, be accepting, be compassionate and be forgiving…

Connect with what is at the core of your programs and address it with love. Shine the light and let go of the shame, the self-doubt, the self-blame, the guilt. Clean out what’s sitting there…

Keep on and give yourself tons of love, high-fives and gold stars as you make progress in your challenge and in addressing what is driving your patterns…




APPLICATION: Take a nice look at your life and note what patterns and/or habits seem to be getting in the way of your best self, best relationship and best life…

 ~ Select the pattern that when changed it would have the biggest impact for you

~ Identify a 30-Day Challenge that would support you in changing the egoic pattern

~ Select a start date for your challenge and do any prep needed ahead of time so you can have a strong start

~ In your journal, track your experience, what comes up, and what you imagine would be underneath the pattern you are working on changing…

~ Give yourself the understanding, validation, compassion, and love the uncovered wound needs for it to heal… Take note of how you feel.

~ Stay present with what continues to come up and what changes you might experience…


We have the option of being who we want to be… Very few of us exercise that option, choice and power… Let’s change that, shall we?

Here is to the best Summer Upleveling™ yet!


Wishing you all the joy, connection and love today and always…

With Much Love & Light!


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Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com

About Emma

Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT has been in the mental health profession in varying capacities for the past 20+ years. She is the Founder and Director of MetroRelationship.com a psychotherapy and coaching practice specializing in working with busy professional and entrepreneurial couples who are struggling getting on the same page and feeling connected. The work helps couples create a radiant and successful relationship and meaningful life by becoming a strong partnership and increasing their connection, intimacy, and fun. Emma is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Relationship Strategy™.

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