I’ve been writing about stepping it up and fully embracing showering your partner with lots of love. And, I wholeheartedly stand by my position to embrace the Valentine’s Day cliché. But, I also want to warn you that there is such a thing as Loving TOO Much… Now, this does not negate the concept I’ve been endorsing and encouraging. I do want you to be Super Nice to your partner. We usually do way too little of that…
The concept of Loving TOO Much has to do with Taking Care of another to the point where they don’t take care of themselves, or their responsibilities… This is taking care of them actually at their expense at the end of the day… I’m sure you’ve heard me say, Sometimes being too helpful is not helpful…
When we are too helpful and caring, we get in the way of our loved one’s ability to access their own resources to be able to take care of themselves. In essence we create a Dummy. The more helpful we are, the more stupid they become… Have you noticed this phenomenon?
We want to make sure we love the right way:
- Providing support, understanding and acceptance (not of any bad behavior of course!) – Show curtesy, respect, tolerance (non-judgement), patience, trust.
- Being super nice, loving and nurturing – Be gentle, caring, forgiving, generous.
- Giving love in our partner’s love language and respecting their wishes – Not giving love the way WE like to receive love…
- Treating your partner like a Partner – It won’t do to treat your partner like a child, an employee or some kind of subordinate. They have a brain, treat them like they do.
- Relating with your partner as the person they are – See beyond the patterns, defenses, history, habits, roles, and such. See the Man or Woman there, that was the initial attraction…
- Using flirting, playing, dating, courting, wooing, seducing – You get my drift. When stuck, make believe you are Dating (each other!)…
- Pulling out all the stops, make believe your life depends on your being Loving – How would you carry yourself differently toward your partner if you were being watched and rated on a Loving Scale? Where a low rating would give you the death penalty…
Hm. Look at the last suggestion again. Something to think about. Our life does depend on how we do our relationship. Our success, health, wellness and happiness are greatly impacted by the state of our Relationship.
So, while we want to be super nice, loving and nurturing, we don’t want to love too much… Do the above to step up the Loving, complete our checklist below to find out if you are Loving TOO Much…
In the meantime, have an amazing Valentine’s Day weekend! J
Remember to complete the MetroRelationsip™ Assignment below to help you effortlessly implement this, make changes and immediately start creating your Successful Relationship and Meaningful Life…
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PS1 – A Gift for You!
Signs that You Love TOO Much – Identify what is getting in the way of your Successful Relationship! It is possible to love TOO much, to show love with the wrong loving and nurturing tactics… Get your checklist now!
PS2 – If you need more support creating your successful life, we are here to help. I’d be honored to speak with you about how we can help you. Schedule a get acquainted call to connect and discuss how we can help and how to get started. Look forward to Connecting with you!
~ Your MetroRelationship™ Assignment
Ok, we are in the throes of Valentine’s Day weekend, how will you make it exceptional?
Whether you go all out with a gift, an experience, or a gesture to deepen intimacy and connection, you can’t go wrong.
Make it count, celebrate your love!
Add this to your Tool Kit…
~ Share Your Thoughts & Successes in the comment box at the end!
Take a moment now to share below any thoughts, comments, take away, tips, and successes! PLEASE post a comment now – we grow in community!
Thanks for connecting with the MetroRelationship™ Family!
Copyright (c) 2019 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
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Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.