We are working on changing patterns… We can tackle this from many different angles as it’s obvious from the topics of our blog posts this year… I love making Summer a time for concentrated focus on personal growth, as we have a little more leisure time to utilize for this endeavor. As Father’s Day is this weekend, let’s play a bit more with the concept of reparenting ourselves for reprogramming and changing patterns… Why not? Do less and make more changes with self-fathering… Here is wishing all Fathers a terrific weekend, and thank you for being our rock star.
The male and fathering components of our caregiving and parenting was meant to have given us security, safety, dependability, stability, consistency, strength, discipline, motivation… But because we were raised with imperfect caretaking, we didn’t get everything we needed… This shows up in our lives today, when we have a difficult time trusting, letting go, allowing, and such.
We might show up as controlling, rigid, micromanaging to make sure we get what we need or want. By the same token, we might have a challenging time being disciplined, motivated, productive…
When we struggle with these defenses and integrating these male energy characteristics, it is challenging to create the relationship and life we want…
This is a tricky topic because as we live in a world of doing, which is more male energy, it is difficult to differentiate between the regular doing and cultivating the male energy that will serve us in creating what we want.
Therefore, I invite you to an integrative approach to self-fathering, to embracing this male energy and male characteristics without all the doing that’s not doing much in our lives.
Instead of approaching this topic as usual from the place of giving ourselves the structure, the plan, the tactics, and such to create the security, safety, and stability, I’m offering something different today.
Today, I’d like to us to cultivate and integrate this male energy for the self-fathering by shifting from focusing on our external structuring and doing, to an internal version… Instead of creating by doing, managing our time and the like, I’m offering to create security and dependability from within ourselves.
I’m offering to bypass the usual self-disciplining through our external environment to go inwards and connect with ourselves for that trust, stability, and strength… By shifting from the doing to being, this becomes an integrative process as we are drawing on the female energy as well… This makes for a more powerful approach in that we are fully tapping into all of ourselves.
In that connection, we ground ourselves providing the stability and security… In connection we also feel safe and therefore trust… So, in approaching this self-fathering not by setting schedules and other self-discipline tactics but by getting grounded we create the foundation that provides all the benefits of being fathered…
This different integrative approach helps us in our self-reparenting in a more wholistic form that reverberates through our being… As we are grounded, stable, secure, and safe we feel strong, empowered, and motivated to attempt the changes we want. We don’t have to white-knuckle or force anything- we don’t have to muscle it to the ground.
We can have a deeper trust that things flow and work out for us better than we can ever imagine. A deeper trust is born that has our back. From here anything is possible. We can now pursue our desires with gusto as we won’t be stifling them with our control and strong hold.
Better things come from this inner strength…
WATCH THE RELATED VIDEO: Generate security with self-fathering
GET THE RELATED THEME GUIDE: 30-Day Challenges List
APPLICATION: Create a very simple self-fathering practice that integrates and cultivates your male energy characteristics to generate security, stability, safety, and trust…
1 ~ Do a mindfulness practice for visioning, purposing, contributing and such
2 ~ Take an inspired action
Let’s embrace self-connection as an approach to self-fathering, for generating security, safety, and trust. Let’s embrace less but more inspired doing for creating the relationship and life we desire…
Here is to the best Summer Upleveling™ yet!
Wishing you all the joy, connection and love today and always…
With Much Love & Light!
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Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com