Mothering Vs Fathering… This is not a competition! First off, wishing all the Moms a very Happy Mother’s Day. And here is an invitation for all of us to embrace more Mothering in our own lives, of ourselves and our loved us. We can all stand to be more compassionate, nurturing and loving… Second, the key is finding a balance for these two characteristics within ourselves for a more integrated Human Experience…
We are still living in a very male dominated world with a lot of masculine energy. We’ve repressed women and feminine energy for a very long time. All gender equality discussion aside, this is happening even within ourselves… We have repressed our own feminine energy… We shame and hide the softer and more vulnerable side of ourselves.
I’ve taken the opportunity in our last webinar to celebrate Mothering not just for Mother’s Day but as an invitation to join the shift. There a shift happening in the world for a more feminine, compassionate, heart-centered and more collaborative approach to life
Beware, if you are male energy dominant and are tipping your toes into embracing your more feminine energy, this might feel weird… LOL
For me, it felt like something was wrong. I felt lazy (Zen…), mellow, unmotivated, without a care in the world, floaty and other soft feelings… Now, if you know me or have experienced me, you know I can be intense and very energetic. So, these felt so foreign and out of character to the point where it didn’t feel right at first…
But then marvelous things started to happen, the experience drove home the point that more doing isn’t better… That more work doesn’t necessarily create more results, that being more intensity doesn’t necessarily influence others more, and that over functioning doesn’t necessarily mean getting needs met better… That way of being had actually created less of the desired outcome!
At the same time, we can’t go all feminine either – we’d never get anything done!
The answer is to work better not harder, to properly use our masculine energy as we explore and welcome our feminine energy more…
Hence, today’s topic on Fathering ourselves and our relationship…
Fathering has to do with protection, security, discipline, motivation, doing, structure, systems, and the like. So, when we are in our doing mode, which is most of the time, we are operating with mostly our male energy… For those of us that are super ambitious, motivated and like to get things done, we thrive in this energy.
The problem is that we are living unbalanced and out of whack, in this eventually catches up with us…. When we repress our female energy, we are shutting down our being mode, our creativity, inspiration, intuition, emotions, compassion, nurturing, and the like. We become super intense and almost robotic… The richer side of life gets lost on us!
And, yet with all the doing people are doing, they are still not very productive and haven’t been able to create the life they desire…
Why is this? Because they are not properly using their male energy. They are living through the energy without properly supporting themselves. They are not using skills and tools to manage themselves better to get more from their efforts.
A key concept to utilize to get all the benefits of fathering is operating our life with systems… What does this mean? System or protocol or procedure or process or approach – or way of doing things on a recurring basis… This is how we get the most bang from our investments. Whatever we do, we need a little process for it – this is how we do this thing…
What that does is take the guess work, required will power, inconsistency, ambivalence, lack of focus and such right of our experience helping us stay motivated, focused, consistent, productive, efficient and the like without killing ourselves.
What’s more when we operate this way, we are Fathering ourselves in that we are providing ourselves stability, consistency, dependability, reliability, solidity, strength and such… Which as you can imagine that generates feelings of trustworthiness, safety, and security… Much needed as part of our personal development and healing…
And what’s even more, when we create amazing daily routines that include Pleasure and Delight Habits and other Intentional Habits and we implement collaboration systems with our partner, we are able to easily and effortlessly embrace a Relationship Enrichment Lifestyle and create a lovely home life and family…
So, we are looking to do our Male Energy better and to embrace our Female Energy more…
Eventually, we’d notice we are Being while we are doing! As our systems, structures, routines and such create the container for us to play in…
When we are in a rat race and spinning our wheels doing, it’s very challenging for the feminine energy to make its appearance… When the male energy is focused and given purpose it’s soothed allowing space for the female energy to come out to play… Ah…
And that’s how we become more integrated and more who we are, more our Authentic Self enabling us to create our radiant and successful relationship and meaningful life. Voila!
ASSIGNMENT: What say you? Ready to add more systems into your life for more productivity, efficiency and focus? Ready to create your container to give you freedom for more Being…? Let’s do this!
1) Take stock of how your days usually go… How defined are your routines, your habits and how you approach your responsibilities? How do you manage your time? How do you take care of what’s important to you? Do your daily activities and tactics flow from your goals and life vision?
2) Start with a strategy that flows from your vision and goals, and informs your ideal day, daily routines, and habits to support your goals and trend towards your vision…
3) Become very mindful of what energy you are operating with by putting the masculine to good use working your strategy and creating space for your feminine to come out to play more. Enjoy!
As with anything, when you bring consciousness, focus and attention to something, Awesomeness happens. I wish this for you in your life and your relationship.
Wishing you much joy, connection and love today and always…
With Much Love & Light!
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Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com