We are just days away from Valentine’s Day. Are you embracing the Love Month? Is your whole house decorated pink like mine is? Haha, just kidding! You believed that though, didn’t you? Yes, I’m known to be a hopeless romantic and to love the Love Season. Yes, I love the pink and the red. And yes, I love the cliché things about VDay. I don’t love the commercialization of it, and when I encourage clients, subscribers and followers to embrace VDay I’m not referring to this aspect of it. I’m referring to taking advantage of this opportunity to play with Love. Why not?
How do we play with Love? There are many kinds of love and I usually cover the gambit in my writing during the season to please those that are single and those that think the holiday is stupid. But, I’m taking a risk this year and going full out and asking that you embrace Valentine’s Day as it is intended. Let’s not be politically correct. Why not?
If you go at it from this angle, what does this mean to you? How will you show up on Valentine’s Day? How will you make the day super romantical (yes, love to play with verbiage)? How will you surprise your partner? How will you treat your partner super special? How will you share love? How will you Be loving? What part of you needs to be more available, accessible, vulnerable, open, curious to have a different, better experience than usual in regard to giving Love…? What about in regard to receiving Love…?
It never ceases to amaze me when clients are literally crying about how they don’t feel love from their partner, but they are ripping them a new one in their asking for love (even as they are crying!)… The person requesting nurturing, empathy, compassion, love is extremely critical about the partner not giving these things… They are not being very loving-lovable… They are not inspiring tenderness and caring. They are not inspiring empathy or compassion. If they are showing up with the killer version of themselves, it’s not very easy to love or empathize with them… They create a predicament for their partner. How is their partner supposed to show love and tenderness to a fire-breathing dragon?
So, there are two things to remember this Valentine’s: One, be super loving and generous when gifting your partner, in the way your partner likes it… Two, be super nice in your interactions and expectations to inspire reciprocity. Not demand reciprocity. Not doing tit-for-tat. Not gifting with strings attached. Not manipulating, strong-arming, shaming or guilt-tripping. You show up authentically and genuinely. You give from the heart. You do your side of showing up properly… You are cut off from fire-breathing…
When you give love this way, in your Being Loving, you are also giving love to yourself… And, this is actually the hardest part of this… The fire-breathers have a very hard time being gentle, doing self-care, giving love to themselves, and receiving love. Thus, this is how they create the self-fulfilling prophecy of not getting love from their partner either (and, of course they are usually involved with partners that have a hard time giving love anyway…).
If this is you, treat yourself this Valentine’s! That’s also for you if you happen to be single, treat yourself!
And, we are at Week#1 of our Love Launch™ countdown, check it out!
Remember to complete the MetroRelationsip™ Assignment below to help you effortlessly implement this, make changes and immediately start creating your Successful Relationship and Meaningful Life…
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~ Your MetroRelationship™ Assignment
Write a Deeper Love Letter™.
The purpose is to deepen your love, connection and intimacy. To let go of hurt. To forgive. To apologize. To validate. To make nice. To synchronize. To recommit. To appreciate. To shower with Love.
The style, tone, length, content can be anything you want. This is for you and for your partner, for the Relationship, for the Partnership. This is for your past, present and future… This is repairing, healing, cleansing, connecting, strengthening. This is a Gift for your bond.
You can make this a Valentine’s Day ritual going forward…
Add this to your Tool Kit…
Copyright (c) 2019 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
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Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.