Unfortunately, it’s common that partners feel stuck in their relationship dynamics. They find that they reach an impasse, that they can’t see eye-to-eye or get on the same page, or simply that they can’t get their relationship to the next level. Meaning that they are looking for a deeper connection, more meaningful interactions, and enriched intimacy and passion. What is challenging is that they get stuck in their power-struggle…
The Power-Struggle
When partner’s get stuck in their power-struggle they experience a tug of war as to whose needs get met… Each feels the other is dismissing them, disregarding them, trumping them, cancelling them… Or that they are made wrong. They don’t feel important and cared for.
They experience an existential threat… This is why they dig in their heels so their own survival is guaranteed… I know this can seem dramatic, but know this is not a logical or mental construct… This is all emotional, experiential and at a deeper level… This is the part of us that we are not usually in touch with, our unconscious and subconscious minds. And the parts of us that are actually running the show… This is where our programs come in…
Our programs show up in the form of defense mechanisms, habits, preferences, and ideas we might have about ourselves, others, and the world at large…
This is why when we try to make changes solely from an intellectual, discipline and pushing approach it is super challenging to move the needled to then have our progress revert to the usual to boot!
The Programming
We have a preset program going on that needs to be tended at the deeper level for it to reset. This reprogramming is what allows us to dissolve our sensitivities, to not take things personally and so seriously, to have more resilience, to be more compassionate, to be more flexible, to be more open, to give more generously, to be a better receiver, to experience more joy, love, and abundance…
When we address our programming, our relationship and our life are not so much work… They become a form of play, an experience, an adventure- fun… Shifting to this mindset and estate allows to truly create what our heart desires…
There are a multitude of ways, services, programs, modalities, protocols, and tactics to address our programming. The key is to be open to healing and evolving ourselves, to do the work. And it starts by fully connecting with ourselves, being present and in the now…
Then imagine just bringing that version of ourselves in and of itself to the interaction with our partner what a difference that would make…
As we continue the reprogramming, the power-struggle resolves just like that because we are now in the conscious relationship stage…
As soon as we become intentional and conscientious, we move into a conscious relationship where then anything is possible…
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Wishing you all the joy, connection and love today and always…
With Much Love & Light!
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Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
