As we embark on a new era… I want you to come along… I want your life to continue to become better and better as well. I want us to continue to Design and enjoy our Best Life. I want us to continue to have an amazing Human Experience and for it to get better every day.
Now, I know that the holidays are tough for most… I also know that even though we are all pumped with the New Year, the new decade!, that in a few weeks people crash… I also know that people still have challenges and struggles in life… This is why I’m writing the current sequence, I’m getting to it – I promise!, to help you realign your relationship and kick-off the New Year with pizzazz!
But, I’m not naïve in thinking that a few blog posts are enough, though I try to give you so much, to help you change your life if you are feeling stuck and are struggling. This is why I want to offer you the opportunity to easily get support to help you over the hump. You can really make this your best year yet… How about it , will you let us help you?
If you know you are ready to make a change and are interested in working with us, don’t wait another minute, take decisive action and start creating your Best Year yet now. Take advantage of our super discounted 10-Session Package and get started right away!
Ok, and now on to Element4 of our Sequence for better implementing the Successful Couple Strategy™:
Element1 – Context & Mindset
Element2 – Communication & Alignment
Element3 – Clarity & Dynamics
Element4 – Connection & Intimacy
Element5 – Collaboration & Partnership
Today’s topic – Stopping the disconnect by getting your swag on. Aside from not moving forward in the relationship, not feeling supported, not getting along and arguing a lot, feeling disconnected from our partner is a top contender for couples not feeling satisfied and happy in their relationship, and in their life…
Feeling disconnected is a real tough one, it eats at your soul… Where there is fighting there is passion. But with disconnect there is deeper, black, gut wrenching pain… Disconnect breeds feelings of aloneness, loneliness, rejection, unworthiness, despair, hopelessness which in turn trigger anxiety and depression, and other goodies… I’ll spare you the heaviness of presenting this topic from this angle. But know that all this is very serious and dangerous to our wellbeing. Feeling disconnected is not to be taken lightly.
I want to address the topic instead from my usual lighter and more practical angle to prompt your shift… I offer an alternate perspective to how you might usually look at things, that keeps you stuck… When you change your usual lens, you can more easily realign and create the changes you seek… You can more easily get out of your own way… You can effortlessly invite, allow, and cocreate what you Desire…
This is the gentle, loving and compassionate way of saying you contribute to your disconnect… Hang on if you had a reaction just then… Don’t shoot the messenger! LOL I know that when we feel disconnected we usually blame our partner for it… We claim they are too busy. They don’t care as much as we do. They are insensitive and don’t have feelings. They are too arrogant. They are narcissistic… I’m not taking away from any of these. They are probably true! So what!?
These do not mean you cannot have a caring, loving, satisfying and happy relationship with your partner. This just means you have work to do… This means there is a reason you attracted and are with this partner… If this is what you got, this is what you need… This is your second chance at getting what you didn’t get back then… [Refer to the last issue/post] Hey, again, don’t shoot the messenger. You can always choose to try again with someone else. But, while we are here, we might as well try it my way. Ok? What have you got to lose?
When we feel disconnected from our partner is because we are choosing to focus on everything our partner is doing wrong… We think, and even usually vocalize, how we think they should be, operate, feel and the like. We go in their circle… We don’t follow good boundaries protocols… When we are in their circle, we are not in ours… When we are in their circle, they feel crowded and shy away… When we are not in ours, we are disempowered and unattractive… Bam!
This is part of what creates disconnect… There are a lot of other factors but tackling this is the quickest way to start creating change… When we get out of our partner’s circle, they can stop withdrawing, running, hiding and the like. All of a sudden, they are more available and interested…
When we come back into our own circle, we feel amazing! For that’s where we are supposed to be. There is awesomeness in our circle. There is power and beauty in our circle. This is where we have Swag…
When we own ourselves, embody our Authentic, our Higher Self, and show up with our Best Self, then there is no chance in heck that our partner can ignore us, not be interested in us, not be attracted to us and not want to do everything for us… This is on us. We only get this when we don’t demand it… We only get this when we do Us…
And, then there wouldn’t be disconnect anyway… (Wink!)
ASSIGNMENT: By Golly, stop focusing on how your partner sucks and start focusing on how to do You better! That’s it. Seriously. It’s time to stop whining and start owning your life. What can you take on by the horns? It’s a New Year. It can be a New You if you mean business. It’s time. Get off the sidelines and get in the game. It’s time for a new Relationship (with your partner), a new Life. And, it all starts with You. Change the focus to your Self and how to continue to become your Best Self.
When you have You, there is no disconnect… When you have you, your Partner has you… This is where the disconnect goes away… Enjoy You, and enjoy a newfound Connection…
Next week’s issue is the last of the Series. Don’t miss it! I’ll be covering how create a Strong Partnership in the New Year! Here is to our Best Year Yet!!
Complete the Assignment, and share your takeaway, insights, and results with a note in the Comments box at the end! I’d love to hear how you are using this content.
Copyright (c) 2019 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
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Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.