Get Cranking Changing Your Relationship
I’m familiar with relationship struggles.
I’ve had my share, obviously I’m not exempt, and this is what I work with day-in and day-out. I’m pretty intimate with the nuances of what troubles partners and what gets them stuck. For reasons that are beyond the scope of this article, I love working with couples. Couples are my passion. I’m intrigued by them and care about their wellbeing.
Through witnessing so much pain and suffering, despair and hopelessness, and partners throwing their hands up in the air surrendering to what appears an insurmountable challenge, I was able to formulate a process to assist them get past this and thrive.
Time and again couples present with patterns and approach to their partner and relationship that undermine their satisfaction, happiness, wellbeing and ability to create and enjoy their awesome relationship.
The process is just amazing. Couples have created their new relationship in just a few sessions! But not all couples are the same, and I find that it’s not the number of sessions that count but the ability of the partners to embrace the process and their growth and healing journey…
The process constitutes 10 Strategies I have identified as fundamental to creating an awesome relationship. Most couples that struggle usually need assistance with the first 5 Strategies. They are the building blocks to creating awesomeness.
As we are coming off the Valentine’s Day hype and the pressure for enhanced romance, steamy passion and having a dreamy relationship, I want to reassure you that you are not alone if you are feeling a bit blue and stuck in your relationship… I’m giving you a huge virtual hug if you are in need of some loving, and a gift of the First Five Fundamental Strategies™ to help you start cranking change in your relationship!
Warning: Do not try these if you prefer to stay stuck… – Set Up Proper Boundaries and a Healthy Relationship Structure – Fully show up, own yourself and become accountable. Set proper boundaries, expectations, roles, and rules. Clean your interactions and approach to each other – respect, courtesy and mindfulness go a long way.
– Transform Relationship Patterns to Heal, Repair and Build Trust – Understand what’s driving the hot buttons in your relationship. Understand how yours and your partner’s buttons are a perfect match for keeping you stuck… Invest in not triggering your partner and in appropriately getting your needs met.
– Set Up a Strong Communication and Conflict Management System – Create and honor a Fighting Fair Code™. Set up safe conversation times to address issues, concerns or intense topics. Set each other up for cooperation. Set up transparency and accountability mechanisms.
– Conquer Your Debilitating Mindset Keeping You Stuck – Gentle your inner critic, clean your yucky thinking and take control of your mind! Move from an ego-led (fear-based) to a heart-led (love-based) approach to your relationship. Address assumptions, recurring themes and limiting scripts.
– Conquer Your Debilitating Feelings Keeping You Stuck – Feel and manage your feelings (anxiety and depression are only symptoms…). Self-regulate and self-soothe. Establish a sustainable self-care routine.
The approach to implementing the Strategies is not black and white.
You can juggle a couple at the same time as the investments will tend to overlap. You can be fluid and flexible as long as you keep your eye on the ball! I would recommend picking one or two to focus on and give it your all.
The more you put in, the more you get out. Remember that insight and knowledge is not enough. You have to take action on these. Go crank and create change!
Complete the MetroRelationship™ Assignment below to help you effortlessly implement this, make changes and immediately start experiencing your awesome relationship, and Authentic Life… Happy Cranking! ~ Your MetroRelationship™ Assignment
Decide what area of your relationship needs attention: – Establishing Boundaries, Ownership and Accountability – Changing Patterns and Getting Needs Met – Improving Communication and Conflict Resolution – Upleveling Your Relationship Mindset and Changing Debilitating Scripts – Increasing Self-Management, Regulating and Soothing (to reduce reactivity…) Pick three actions you will do this week to address your area of need… Add this to your Tool Kit…
Copyright (c) 2016 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
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Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
