How to make the most of Summer!

How to make the most of Summer!

With Summer just around the corner, the school year completed for us, and a major dent made on my goals for the year, I’m turning my attention for now to more leisure, fun and adventures. 😉

How was your half of the year so far? What can you celebrate? How are you structuring and planning on enjoying the Summer? Yeah, yeah, you might have already planned your vacation or trips and enrolled your children in camps, but how will you “milk” the summer?

This is an important aspect of life… Even our “down-time” is over scheduled and packed… I’ve heard crazy plans from people like shuttling themselves from location to location for weeks on end without even making stops at home. Of sustaining intense long-day work weeks to squeeze in long weekend trips.

Of having a ton of personal and home projects in the works. And such… These sound good and fun, but usually the end result is missing the forest for the tree. The goal is to reboot, reset, recharge, realign, not to run rugged where you “need a vacation because of your vacation”…

The goal to reconnect with our Self, is to allow for different flow, to synchronize with our loved ones, to regroup on our path, to realign with our values, to tap into our creativity and inspiration, to access the Innovator in us… 

How can this happen if there isn’t a moment to “feel”, to “listen”, to “dream”?

What does this mean for you? What is your Summer Philosophy™?  Take this weekend to ponder on this and even run it by others. It’s interesting to hear what is happening out there. I find that people are usually completely overschedule and overbooked, or they haven’t given it much thought and are living their lives by default… What camp are you in?

If you are overscheduled and overbooked – even with “fun” stuff. Take a look and be radical about removing things from your experience. You’ll find that the yummy stuff happens in the in-between…

If you haven’t planned much or given it much thought. You are probably in better shape than the category of people above. It’s challenging to switch gears, slow down, let go, and Be… You have the opportunity to start with a fairly blank canvas… Don’t just add stuff to it… Be intentional about it.

This is your opportunity to pamper and honor your Self. Get in touch with what is important to you and what gives you pleasure. Sprinkle related activities or experiences into your lifestyle for the Summer. Make it a goal to Enjoy your Self…

If you are in the middle. Good for you! Just make sure what you put in place and what you didn’t, is by choice and design and that you are really and truly serving yourself, and your loved ones.

Summer is an untapped built-in resource in our life… Why not “milk it” for all it can provide? Use the Summer as a catalyst to Shift…, and catapult you in making the changes you’ve desired. Slow and steady wins the race… 

Remember to complete the MetroRelationsip™ Assignment below to help you effortlessly implement this, make changes and immediately start creating your Successful Relationship and Meaningful Life…

Share your experience by leaving a comment below! 

Happy Milking!

 

 

~ Your MetroRelationship™ Assignment

Pick a Treasure activity, outing, experience or trip to add to your Summer Fun.

Make this a Summer to remember…

Add this to your Tool Kit…

 

 

   Copyright (c) 2018 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.

 

Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? 

Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: 
Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com

 

Successful Couples’ Best Practices

Successful Couples’ Best Practices

I love observing couples. I’m always intrigued by how they operate, especially if it works for them. I’m always learning from the couples around me. I’m in awe and inspired by couples that are dedicated and devoted to making their relationship work better. I’m honored to work with the partners I work with.

Their commitment to their relationship and each other is unparalleled. I love working with them. Sometimes though, the things that partners tolerate surprise me. And, the things they find egregious doubly surprise me. This is when I do education moments during our work so partners don’t end up torturing themselves and each other…

Here are some basic Relationship Best Practices™:

  • Know and remember your partner is your ally, not your enemy. Don’t assign negative motives.
  • Understand your partner is a Gift, a mirror…, to help you heal, grow, and evolve… If you don’t like something, you have to change something – not the other way around!
  • Don’t own your partner – don’t tell them how to be, how to operate, what to do, how to feel, what to believe, what to eat, how to dress, etc. Even in your internal dialogue! This generates animosity and doesn’t serve anyone…
  • Don’t make assumptions about your partner’s intentions, feelings, thoughts, etc. Don’t run away with the story you concoct about what is happening… Mindfully and respectfully check-in about what is going on for them.
  • Listen to your partner’s side with understanding, compassion and acceptance. Don’t listen to give advise, fix, judge, make a counter argument, or waiting to give your side…
  • Be smart about the timing of your communication. Don’t push if either of you is triggered. Build-in time-outs if things start getting heated, and always come back to wrap things up.
  • Understand your partner’s hot buttons, wounds / triggers, and be mindful to avoid these. When your partner is triggered give a response that meets the need underneath the trigger… This is one way we heal.
  • Intentionally go about meeting your partner’s needs.
  • Intentionally set up structures and systems for getting and staying connected, increasing intimacy, and having fun.
  • Intentionally set up structures and systems for operating like a well-oiled machine and creating an amazing life.

It goes without saying that showing up with courtesy and respect is of utmost importance. We build and add the other skills from here. This means no: yelling at, cursing at or name-calling, physicality, blaming, criticizing, and other things we wouldn’t necessarily do in other relationships or to other people…

I find that when couples are struggling they throw right out the window basics things like respect, courtesy, understanding, benefit of the doubt, grace, compassion, appreciation and the like. It’s as if they never learned manners, sensibility and how to be nice. As sad as it sounds, coaching partners to treat their partner as if they were strangers does the trick during stubborn times…

If you do some of these, make it your business to clean this up now and keep it clean no matter what your partner is doing… If you are feeling antagonized then it’s not a good idea to continue the interaction. Take a break and resume addressing your concern, and/or addressing the interaction, at a later time…

You each have relationship rights and responsibilities. Here are some to get your wheels turning, to:

  • Be treated well
  • Be yourself
  • Have needs met
  • Have loyalty and honesty
  • Have transparency
  • Have privacy
  • Have freedom
  • Have accountability

> Boundary setting and getting needs met:

The best approach to having an amazing relationship is to expand our capacity and skill for being tolerant, accepting, and compassionate towards our partner while being accountable and having appropriate boundaries ourselves… We don’t want to freak out over mundane things, and we don’t want to overlook inappropriate and harmful behavior and attitudes.

The best approach to having an amazing relationship is to really mind what we put into it… We tend to focus on what our partner puts in, victimizing ourselves… We pat ourselves on the back for putting in things we want to put in, as opposed to things that nurture the relationship and that our partner prefers.

What’s the point of that?! We don’t have to work so hard or invest so much. We just have to do the right kind of investing, giving in our partner’s love language. It goes a longer way… There is a saying in networking circles: “Givers, Gain”

Stop fighting it and power struggling. Just start giving more!

Complete the MetroRelationship™ Assignment below to help you effortlessly implement this, make changes and immediately start experiencing your awesome and radiant relationship, and authentic and meaningful life…

Happy Giving!

 

~ Your MetroRelationship Assignment

Find an area in your relationship where your ownership is skewed and your boundaries can use some recalibrating. Note sure where?

Think on times when you are frustrated and annoyed with your partner. This is a strong indicator that you are owning them and not taking care of yourself properly. Make a list of these times and find pattern(s) or recurring issue(s).

Select one and use Relationship Best Practices™ to address it and make a change.

Own your Self, transform your interactions!

Add this to your Tool Kit…

 

   Copyright (c) 2016 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.

 

Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? 

Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: 
Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com

 

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