METROPOLITAN MARRIAGE & FAMILY THERAPY, PLLC
We are living in strange times… We are living in a world where everything as we knew it is no longer… We are living in a world that is merely a construction, an illusion, a simulation, a matrix… A world where all the major institutions are just structures to provide some kind of order, but have turned out to be more stifling, constricting and enslaving than anything else…
Oftentimes we get so mired in the everyday doing that we forget the everyday Being. We forget to actually show up to our lives, we might bring our bodies, maybe even our minds to a commitment, to an interaction, to a moment. But we hardly bring our heart, our Essence… This is where we are going wrong… This is what is keeping up spent, unmotivated, fearful, disconnected… This is what is creating the rest of our suffering and turmoil… WE are missing from the equation! Bring presence. Then you can exponentially expand and deepen your connection…
It is common for partners to struggle at being partners in their relationship, specially at being partners in Love. They take their love for granted which can fizzle out if it is not frequently stoked… Partners make time for most things in their life, including going out with friends. But they are not great at making time for a self-love practice and for a partner-love practice- for a romantical practice…
What do you think about the concept of Unconditional Love? I believe this is very challenging for people because of the expectations that exist in the relationship. They equate love with the other showing up a certain way… If my partner checks off these boxes, then I love them… Think about this for a second, how crooked is that… We obviously then don’t necessarily love the person but what they do and how they make us feel… How they meet our needs, take care of us, add to our status, and such… So, we actually love them on paper? It seems that way…
When we cultivate a letting go practice, we proactively embrace the art of allowing… Huh? Does this sound like a foreign language to you? It did to me when I first started my self-love (spiritual) practice! There is a whole other lingo that comes along as our self-care and self-love practice evolves… Letting go doesn’t have to do with just forgetting things and letting others step on us… Having a letting go practice is a whole art onto itself. It has to do with stopping the control and resistance and allowing our higher-self, the universe, to have our back…
We all have our holidays traditions, but are yours giving you joy and filling your heart? Following holiday traditions doesn’t mean driving ourselves into the ground with so many to-dos just to check off the boxes of all the things that should get done during the holiday season. I think it’s time to rethink all the extra things we do just for the sake of doing them… Uplevel your holidays with enriching traditions.
Although you might appreciate your partner, do you really appreciate them? Or do you appreciate them when they do things for you and when they conform to expectations… Is your appreciation based on their doing and superficial qualities, or their personal characteristics and essence… How much do you appreciate your partner?
Stop withholding when you have an issue with your partner. You can still be nice… Unfortunately, when we are upset with our partner, we tend to closedown shop. We are no longer open for business. And this is not just about being intimate. We take this to the next level. We lose our courtesy, we can’t appreciate, we get mean, and we can even become uncaring, underhanded, and spiteful. When the opposite is required to sustain a radiant and successful relationship… Being super generous…
