It was incredibly nice disconnecting from the usual during our Spring Break… Even when life is grand it’s nice to change things up. I found myself not interested on being on my phone or any other electronic device. It was a struggle checking-in on things and people. It felt like being pulled from a magical dream.
This experience was perfect as it resonated with today’s topic of Detoxing… You know I have to cover it as soon as Spring comes about. LOL Detoxing is a magnificent way of shedding off anything unwanted that has accumulated over time.
So, with one week left to Q1, and the focus being on getting to its finish line and getting ready to rock Q2, it’s a perfect time to assess what we need to Clean out to lighten our burden… and Clear our path…
First off, I’d like to point out that 3/20 was Happy Day. Did you know that? It’s interesting how these kinds of days get identified. It does make sense though. People’s moods are already lifting. Hope this applies to you!
Let’s keep shedding, not just the blah mood, but everything that is a potential block to your Health, Wellness and Success… And, your Successful Relationship…
Think of the areas of your life you are currently focused on upgrading (most likely your goals are targeting these). Or, that you would like to focus on if you are just starting to focus on making changes… Then think of the things that might be getting in the way of making the upgrade or change…
Most likely the things that are getting in the way have to do with the cumulative impact of bad habits and toxicity of some kind… Consider which below might be getting in your way and consider their antidote:
Sleep deprivation – Sleep 6 to 8 hrs per night of good sleep.
Dehydration – Drink 32 to 64 onz of structured water per day.
Malnutrition – Eat your allotted caloric intake per day of non-inflammatory foods rich in omegas and protein observing a minimum of an overnight 12 hr window before your first meal of the day (basic intermittent fasting). And, minding your intake of gluten, sugar and derivatives, eggs, dairy, meats, soy, peanuts, processed foods and condiments, and certain fruits and vegetables that don’t agree with your body (intuitive eating). Include targeted supplements into your intake; and cleansing techniques such as lemon water and apple cider vinegar first thing in the morning…
Lack of exercise – Move and stretch every day, and adhere to an exercise routine that you enjoy and includes HIIT (high interval intensive training).
Indulging – Eliminate/reduce (numbing…) tobacco, caffeine, alcohol, elicit and over-the-counter drugs, even prescribed drugs…; unprotected sun exposure, and damaging agents in products and other exposure.
Aging – Improve your health with the above, have a great skincare routine that is collagen restorative, keep great oral hygiene (gum disease implicated in Alzheimer’s, along with certain bacteria and viruses including Herpes!) and exercise your brain to stimulate continued neuron regeneration and protect plasticity.
Chaos – Immediately address clutter, disorganization, overwhelm, over commitment, extra responsibilities, poor boundaries, drama, caretaking.
Stuckness – Immediately address repeating patterns, defense mechanisms, scripts, behavioral numbing and time-sucks (over working and spending, dating, TV / Netflix binge-watching, online browsing, social media scrolling, gaming). Pursue Personal Development.
Unhappiness – Upgrade your self-care routine making sure it includes a mindfulness and gratitude practice. Practice compassion and self-love… Own your uniqueness, beauty and gifts. Embrace your voice and your power. Nurture Connection to your higher-power, self, partner, family, community and world at large…
Dissatisfaction/Complacency – Improve the company you keep and your activities, commitments, projects, environments, lifestyle and pursue your dreams (see below)…
Limiting Mindset – This is the death of you. If a heart attack doesn’t put an end to your awesome life, this will! Address tendencies to blame, pass on responsibility, thinking “can’t be done”, overcomplicating things, analysis paralysis, not stretching or wanting to learn, taking the easy way out, not going the extra mile, letting low self-esteem and fear get the best of you…
Debt – Stop accruing debt immediately, only exceptions are for investing in yourself as noted in this writing and within reason… Pay off your debt as fast as you can!
Aimlessness – Know your passion, gift, calling, Purpose. Have a Vision, a Strategy, and Goals. Even have a 100-year Plan…! Shoot to leave a Legacy, to make an Impact… Live a life by Design. Live a life well lived.
Non-Committal – Make sure your word means something, have an honor code, be trustworthy, reliable, accountable. Commit to the task, project or any undertaking. Go all in! Show up with gusto!
Inflexible – Stay open to feedback. Be ready to course correct. Always be tweaking and improving – this doesn’t mean embracing perfectionism, this means embracing excellence.
Were there areas that you felt like, “Hey, I got this!”? Were there areas that kicked your butt? Most people do great in some areas of their lives, and not so great in others… The key is to find the areas that are holding you back from your Best Life… These are the areas that need Detoxing…
Select an area you want to address and choose a related specific Habit to change – get really specific… Set up a plan for eliminating (drastically reducing) the bad habit by replacing it with a given antidote. For example: Health / Malnutrition, eating inflammation causing carbs, doing food swaps containing non-gluten grains…
Now, let’s apply this concept to your relationship… What needs detoxing in your relationship?
Context/Mindset (seeing your partner as your enemy or at fault) – bad attitude, blaming, selfishness, inconsideration, rudeness, poor boundaries, assumptions, scripts
Communication/Alignment (being in frequent fighting and disagreements) – interrupting, yelling, cursing, picking, criticizing
Clarity/Dynamics (finding yourself in repeating dissatisfying situations) – shutting down, withdrawing, passive-aggressiveness, nagging, control, aggressiveness
Connection/Intimacy (feeling alone, unloved and disconnected) – no affection or physical interaction, distance, absence, unavailability, exits
Collaboration/Partnership (feeling overwhelmed, unsupported and stuck) – taking on too much or too little, not enough No, not enough Yes, disorganization, unfinished projects, no systems, no check-ins, no established roles, expectations and goals
Find the Habit that is sabotaging your relationship from its next level of awesomeness. Eradicate that sucker! Replace it with a Connection Habit™ or upgraded relationship skill (refer to the related issues listed below).
Note that this approach is taking Detoxing to the next level. We are striving to get rid of toxicity, and what is holding you back, forever. We are not settling for a quick cleanse! Let’s do it!
Share your experience by leaving a comment below!
~ Some Related Issues
Copyright (c) 2019 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
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Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.