Have you ever stopped to think about what your ideal relationship with your partner would look like? If you had your dream relationship today, with your partner, what would be different?
Think about this from the stand point of how you would feel differently, what you would be doing differently, how you would be responding differently, how you would approach your partner differently, how you would look differently, how your routine, lifestyle, home, activities, foods, would be different… What else might be different? If you waved a magic wand and things were as you desire them, what would things be like?
Have you ever stopped to think about what your ideal life, with your partner, would look like? If you had your ideal life today, what would be different?
Think about this from the stand point of how you would feel differently, what you would be doing differently, how you would be responding differently to life events and daily minutia, how you would approach people and situations differently, how you would look differently, how your routine, lifestyle, home, activities, foods, would be different…
What else might be different? If you waved a magic wand and things were as you desire them, what would things be like?
What is coming up for you as you envision these? If you are feeling hopeless and depressed, know that you are not alone. If you are feeling worried and anxious, know that you are not alone. This kind of pondering kicks up fear… Sit for a moment and identify what kind of fear comes up for you: of not being good enough, measuring up, deserving, being accepted, or of being left, succeeding, failing, what?
What would you say if I told you that everything you identified in your ideal relationship and life, you can have… And, that you can have it right now… No, I’m not crazy. No, I’m not dreaming. And, no, I’m not naïve… I know that everything you need to have your awesome relationship and authentic life, you have right now… I know that you can make your vision a reality. It ALL starts with YOU…
Please remember the secret. It is all a state of mind… And, using our mind well… We create our reality with our mind… We can actually rewire ourselves and change our molecular structure… Yes, we are that powerful! Address your fears… All our experiences are there for a reason; they have a purpose. Your job is to use all the triggers, messages, teachings, resources, insights, intuition, and guidance for your and everyone’s highest good.
When you use everything you got, really own yourself, embrace the highest level of Personal Accountability (for real, no lip service…) your vision becomes instantaneously your reality… Believe me I understand this is difficult to imagine, when you are on the other side… But when you come over and start owning and embracing this full personal accountability concept, the world is a different place… I promise…
It is this easy, and it is this challenging. The concept is easy (if you are open, anyway…). The application takes a bit more investing because we get in our own way. We let our ego and mindset, lack of ownership and personal accountability, hold us back.
We don’t throw everything at it. We are arrogant. We know best. Well, how is that working out for you? I know that I have made the biggest strides in all areas of my life when I “surrendered”. When I let go of my Ego and accepted assistance. When I decided to invest in my Self. And, holy moly is it paying off!
I want you to look at every single interaction, thought, action, behavior, choice, decision, and all the rest from the angle of, what can I do different to get a better outcome? If you find that your answer is, nothing. Try again, and again, and again. You are not perfect, therefore you can always do something different or better for a better outcome… It’s a given. When you say, “nothing”, you are not being fully accountable…
Use this rule of thumb going forward and see what a difference this makes. Be prepared to be stretched… Once, you get over the hump and break this habit, or rather embrace the having full Personal Accountability habit, you will automatically be in a different place…
So, if this is not enough to start turning your world upside down, in a good way, here is an additional take on this for those of you looking for a bigger challenge. Go back to your vision and take a look at who you “Are” in your vision. Take a moment to sit with the vision, the feeling of it, of “who you are”. Reaaally feel it. This is your new Identify… This is the new you. Own it…
Then, have EVERYTHING in your life flow from this new identify, from the new you… This is an unbelievable exercise. You’ll be surprised at the nuances that are different as you do life from a different angle… It’s quite amazing.
And, if you are struggling with any of this, here is a short cut: Act-As-If. Maybe you are beginning to get all this, but are having difficulties implementing and creating changes, or taking things to the next level. It’s OK. While you continue to process, feel, stretch, own, become more accountable and such, with this tool you can still get the benefits of a different experience even if you haven’t completely come to the other side yet…
It’s all-good as long as you are intentional and keep investing. Keep the momentum going, create new outcomes. See you on the other side!
Complete the MetroRelationship™ Assignment below to help you effortlessly implement this, make changes and immediately start experiencing your awesome relationship, and Authentic Life… Please share your takeaways on our Blog!
Happy Accounting!
~ Your MetroRelationship™Assignment
You are the Master of your Life. You are the author of your story. You are the creator of your masterpiece. You are the CEO of mylife.com. You are the King / Queen of your Castle. If you were to own this identify, what are two things you would implement immediately to ensure a Thriving Kingdom and Royal Treatment. Go ahead and implement them now! Add this to your Tool Kit…
Copyright (c) 2016 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
Have you gotten over yourself, evicted your Ego, yet? Are you full steam ahead? Are you all in?Are you fully committed to really giving it your all, to throwing your whole Self in? Are you fully committed to kicking some serious butt, to creating an extraordinary life and awesomest relationship? Do these questions scare you?
Do you feel a wave of terror cursing through your body? Do you feel your insides shaking? Do you feel frozen or paralyzed? Do you feel like a protagonist in a film playing in slow motion, or like you are walking in molasses?
It’s ok. This fear comes up when we aspire to reach our full potential, when we get a glimpse of the possibilities. We are quick to remember our limitations and scripts, and to choose the status quo and playing it safe… We are scared of our own splendor. We impose our limiting lens on our experience, process and decisions to-do-over. We give up too easily without giving ourselves the full groundhog-day benefit.
Keep investing and tweaking till you are %99.9999 perfect…, till you have mastered doing your life and your relationship… There is so much beauty and magic in this. This is what Life is about… I want you ALL in. It makes a massive difference in the quality of all you do and the awesomeness you are able to create…
Here is how to get yourself all in and creating your extraordinary life and awesome relationship:
Step back and take stock of all areas of your life. Is this what your picture of your most awesomest life and relationship looks like? Where are the discrepancies? Notice the gaps. Notice what comes up for you as you think about this…
Pay attention to your scripts, your self limiting believes, the lack of ownership and accountability, the fear… I want you to take notice of all this and don’t judge, criticize or beat yourself up, or anyone else… I want you instead to give yourself understanding (not excuses, but validation), compassion and love.
I want you to soothe the shame monster. You are OK. There is nothing wrong with you. You are exactly where and how you need to be right now, to be where and how you need to be next… This is your journey… And, it’s beautiful. There is a reason for everything… Let’s use what you got!
What are you getting from your pic? What is your lesson? I want you to go deeper and figure out what it is you are to be learning? What is the code you need to crack? What is your stretch? Take your time and GET THIS. Now, imagine you cracked this. Imagine you rewired yourself.
Imagine you changed your molecular structure, your energy… Imagine you have a brand new ninja OS. Imagine you no longer have limiting scripts or believes. Whoa… Do you see where I’m going? Humor me.
Please take a moment to imagine this… Imagine you fully own your Self, have mastered self-management, and have embraced your magnificence. Can you see what this would do for your life and your relationship? You would ROCK!
Do you see how you hold your Self back? It is time to stop. It is time to do something. It’s time to take action. Insight is not enough. Once you get it, you have to take massive action to get massive results. What does this mean for you? Think about what you need to do, what actions you need to take. If you are stuck, let me help you: Go back to the code you need to crack.
Here is where your massive action needs to be… Here is where you push yourself, where you stretch. Here is where you put all the support in the world in place to help you crack this and get moving. Here is where you invest. Here is where you hang out. Here is your sweet spot. Push through this and the ceiling is gone!
Do whatever it takes to Get It, and reach for the Stars. Play with your strengths, get assistance with your weaknesses. Put support in place to keep you accountable, and to stretch, teach, and guide you. Put support in place to celebrate your successes, hold you up when you fall down, and cheer you on when you feel like giving up.
Give yourself every chance and opportunity to succeed. What does that look for you? Where do you need the support? What would free up resources allowing you to invest better where it really counts?
Make a commitment now to go for it, to be all in, to have an extraordinary life, starting today! Take an action RIGHT NOW to put the wheels in motion, on the right path… Go for it, you have my support; my energy is with you. Go kick butt!
Complete the MetroRelationship™ Assignment below to help you effortlessly implement this, make changes and immediately start experiencing your awesome relationship, and Authentic Life…
Happy Actioning!
~ Your MetroRelationship™Assignment
Take stock of where you have been wishy-washy in your relationship and your life (i.e., planning, cooking, cleaning, bill-paying, exercising, dating, intimacy & connection, parenting, gardening, writing, invoicing clients, whatever.). Make a list of all the things you do half heartedly, without conviction and commitment, with reservation and disinterest, with one foot in and the other out, and with a minimum of effort and investment.
Next, categorize each item with: to Ditch, Reassign (delegate, contract out, automate, etc.), or Reinvest (leave only what you truly care about and are uniquely talented at).
Pick one from each category to tackle this week. Use your support system… This creates new energy and energy flow in your life…
I want you to turn your special attention to your chosen Reinvesting item. REALLY invest… Give it your all…
Add this to your Tool Kit…
Copyright (c) 2016 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
Have you ever wondered how some people create successful lives and others settle for mediocre ones? Have you taken this a step further and wondered how some people create successful relationships and others settle for mediocre ones? I have.
This is my life’s purpose… It’s a constant wonder and question for me. My every breath, thought, and action revolve around this. I’m obsessed with this. There is a common theme to my musings, research, and work driven by the question of how we can Be our Best Self… Reach our Highest Potential…
What’s really amazing to even me is that I don’t get tired of this and I’m not kidding, I’m obsessed. I build my days around these concepts. They drive my every intervention in session with my clients and are the drivers behind everything I create.
How can we do this better? How can we build on our strengths? How can we invest, contribute, nurture, related, etc. better? All driven by a desired to see people accomplished in life and in their relationship… I want us to have our best Human Experience…
As I continue on my search to assist others, and myself, in this endeavor I have found a common denominator underlying an awesome life and relationship. I have found that to be Self Love and Self Acceptance… I’ve written about this before maybe not in these exact terms, but the theme has been pervasive. It is ringing loud in my head.
As if I’m to go to the top of a mountain and yell this down for those that still don’t get it to get on board… I’m reading works on high achievement and performance, peak potential, conscious living and the like. I’m fine-tuning my language and context… I’m learning that even more specifically, the key is Self Mastery.
It exhilarates me to explore and research this, to connect the dots in different ways, to integrate concepts, fields and schools in new ways, to translate them into accessible frameworks, to devise practical mechanisms for ready consumption for improving our quality of life and relationship.
The marrying of Self Mastery to creating our Authentic Life and Awesome Relationship is paramount. I am now understanding more and more my purpose…, how I’m the translator and integrator of these concepts and conduit for implementation. At first glance, this might all seem obvious and others are already on this wagon. But if this is so obvious and accessible, why aren’t we all extremely successful in all areas of our life?
I know that we are our own worst enemy. We for sure get in our own way. I see this day in and day out in my practice, and dare I share, in my own life. I know we are not perfect. But I know most of us can do much better than we do… Therefore, the challenge of the day is how can we improve our Self Mastery? How can we take charge of ALL aspects of our lives in a way that create massive results for us?
We have a tendency to play victim, point fingers, blame circumstances, and find excuses for things that don’t go as we wish in our lives. What we fail to see over and over is that we are creating our life either intentionally or unintentionally. Either by design, or by accident and lack of ownership, we are creating it…
It is imperative that we start taking charge, that we set out to intentionally create what we desire, that we make sure we function at our most optimal level, that we do not leave anything to chance. Why wouldn’t we go about creating a Magnificent Life and Relationship intentionally, rather than leaving it to chance and trial and error? Doesn’t that seem silly to you not to do so?
So for today, I want us to first take a pledge to take our life seriously and to decide to create a Master Piece – obviously including our relationship… Then, I want us to focus on developing Self Mastery.
This means: — Learning Healthy Self Soothing and Self Management Techniques — Working Through Fear and Limiting Mindset — Breaking Bad Habits and Creating Healthy Ones — Developing, Implementing and Sticking to our Self Care Plan — Generating Naturally Unlimited Energy — Harnessing the Power of Focus — Creating a Personal Brand — Embracing Your Purpose
I know that Being our Best Self invites our Partner’s Best Self to come out and play with us… I know that when we bring our Best Self forward, we create and attract awesomeness in our life and relationship. I know that when we bring our Best Self forward that we live our Authentic Life. I know that when we rock, we Rock!
Complete the MetroRelationship™ Assignment below to help you effortlessly implement this, make changes and immediately start experiencing your awesome relationship, and Authentic Life…
Happy Rocking!
~ Your MetroRelationship™Assignment
Rate your level of Self Mastery in the areas listed below (1 lowest – 10 highest):
___ Learning Healthy Self Soothing and Self Management Techniques
___ Working Through Fear and Limiting Mindset
___ Breaking Bad Habits and Creating Healthy Ones
___ Developing, Implementing and Sticking to our Self Care Plan
___ Generating Naturally Unlimited Energy
___ Harnessing the Power of Focus
___ Creating a Personal Brand
___ Embracing Your Purpose
Note your top 3 lowest ratings. Pick one of these. This requires your immediate attention to get you moving further along your path of High Achievement, Accomplishment and Success in your life AND relationship. Determine how you will invest in enhancing your Self Mastery in your chosen area. Determine your first actionable step towards implementation, and get to it! Add this to your Tool Kit…
Copyright (c) 2016 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
Abundance in our life is experienced in direct proportion to the level of Self Love and Self Care we give ourselves… Take a moment to soak that in. When we are stingy with our Self, our energy vibrates at a lower frequency which attracts other low frequency people, situations and results in our experience…
This ranges from having your driver’s license suspended, to a tree falling on your house, to going bankrupt, to a family member becoming seriously ill, to you becoming seriously ill, and even death. Now, I’m not trying to be gruesome, but I’ve witnessed and have experienced this level of low vibrations. It’s not pretty.
When we operate from such a low vibrational level, we have the experience of everything going wrong, life being challenging, the world is against us, people are out to get us or bring us down, things break or just decide not to work, we get hurt, etc. There is an experience of being or witnessing a train wreck…
This shows up with varying intensity and manifestation throughout our lives. When it is obviously at play, it is an indication that a repeating pattern hasn’t yet been broken, a lesson still needs to be learned, a code needs to be cracked or a stretch is required to move to the next level in our Journey…
If we are able to frame disappointment, frustration, roadblocks, lack, headaches, heartaches, and the like as mere indicators of where proper and informed attention is needed, we’d realize that life is actually not so difficult and more akin to a game to be intentionally played and enjoyed. For the Journey itself is the Human Experience we are seeking… Our task here on Earth is to live well… To have Authentic lives that are in alignment with our Soul.
What does it mean to be in alignment with our Soul? This means embracing our Creator’s characteristics as we were created in HisHer likeness – positive, compassionate, forgiving, loving, magnificent. It means embracing our Purpose, what we came down to do and experience. It means honoring our Self.
Most of us go through life dismissing and discounting our Prime Directive. We don’t mind our vibrational energy. We revel in misery as if that is normal… We don’t intentionally attend to our mood and feelings. We let them run the show and worse, we let Ego inform them. We do not identify and own our Purpose. We do not respect nor honor our Selves. This is not living an Authentic Life, a Soulful Life.
I know this is daunting to those of you who are just opening up to the existential angle to creating the life and relationship you want. For some of you all this is a given are now fine tuning how you do your Journey.
For yet others, this might sound like a crock of s*** and don’t see the relevance at all to your relationship and are wondering why I’m writing about this… I’m with you all… I just want the skeptics to stretch a little and see how you can apply any of this to your current experience. I witness day in and day out that the skeptics struggle the most… So, please, stay open and find the sliver that is resonating with you today and embrace it…
Coming full circle and on the more practical side of things. A way to honor our Self, and give our Soul its Human Experience, is to practice Self Care. This is how we experience an Abundant Life. We all have different ideas about what Self Care entails and I encourage you to develop a Self Care Practice that is rich and diverse.
I also want to add to your repertoire by introducing, or reminding you, of a powerful Relational Self Care tactic, that of sharing your perspective and experience. This honors your Existence…
This does not mean to be stubborn, power struggle, nit pick at your partner, force your idea or world on them, seek agreement, demand your way, and such. This does mean to share your internal word (thoughts, feelings, perspective, experiences, memories, etc.) with your partner while being mindful and respectful of theirs. An Awesome Relationship is comprised of two partners that get to fully show up and be accepted…
As I’ve written in the past, our job is to mind our Selves not our Partner… Be the boss of you, and only you. Step up the Self Care to raise your energy’s vibrational frequency and enrich your way of Being. Watch Abundance increase in all areas of your life…
Complete the MetroRelationship™ Assignment below to help you effortlessly implement this, make changes and immediately start experiencing your awesome relationship, and Authentic Life… Please share your takeaways on our Blog!
Happy Self Caring!
~ Your MetroRelationship™Assignment
Invite your Partner to a game of “Getting to Know Each Other More” (it doesn’t matter how long you’ve been together!!). You each get to write a list of 100 items about yourselves that your partner might not know, that you want to showcase, dreams, wishes, preferences, bucket list, anything you want. Then schedule a Reveal Date where you get to share items on your lists. Add this to your Tool Kit…
Copyright (c) 2016 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
What do you usually think of when you think of the “f…” word? We probably both think of the same four-letter word, but for today let’s make our “f…” word a more meaningful word. F is for Focus. F is for Freedom. I’ve written before that what we focus on persists.
What we focus on either enables us or enslaves us… We have the power to create our awesome ongoing experience… All we have to do is choose. We have to exercise our freedom of choice. This applies to everything in our lives.
Choose. Focus. Create. This is the power of freedom. When we choose to focus on things we value, appreciate and that make sense to us we enable, activate, expand, manifest our creativity, passion, uniqueness, gifts, Life. When we forgo our power of choice and proceed on automatic we usually focus on lack, things that go wrong, problems and disappointments, how others are not leaving up to our expectations and how unhappy we are.
It’s even worse when you consciously choose to focus on these! For guess what? You won’t have an awesome life or relationship, and certainly not happiness if you live your life with these shackles on. What we focus on persists…
Exercising intentional choice creates happiness. Doing otherwise is to crush our spirit, not honor our Soul. Here is the trick. Choose what you want. Choose how you want to feel. Choose how you want things to look like. Choose the experiences you want to have. Choose what the picture on the canvas of your life and relationship is to be. Don’t have a general or vague idea about these. Actually Choose, for then that is what Is…
Dream, choose, focus, and take massive decisive action. This is the formula to creating the life and relationship you want. You can create anything you want. When you make intentional choices, set goals, put plans and systems in place and invest in them consistently there is no way you can not create what you set out to, or something better…
This is the beauty of owning our freedom. When we exercise our freedom of choice, magnificent things happen. This is the beauty of owning our free will. When we exercise our free will we are in alignment with our Soul (Higher Power, Universe…).
This is where the magic is. Don’t be bound by limiting and narrow expectations, mindset, views, skills, scripts, legacies – take charge, clean these up and expand them. Stay open. Follow your gut (your Core Self, Authentic Self, Soul) talking to you and guiding you… Allow the magic in. Choose to have a magnificent life and relationship. And, so it is…
Complete the MetroRelationship™ Assignment below to help you effortlessly implement this, make changes and immediately start experiencing your awesome relationship, and Authentic Life… Please share your takeaways on our Blog!
Happy Choosing!
~ Your MetroRelationship™Assignment This weekend take inventory of areas in your life where you’ve lost your voice, or haven’t developed your voice yet… This business of not having a voice is holding you back from creating the life and relationship you desire…
Pick an area where you’ve allowed your Self to be muted and unmute yourself… Learn to mindfully share and express your voice in this area to develop it to your liking… Add this to your Tool Kit…
Copyright (c) 2016 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
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Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT has been in the mental health profession in varying capacities for the past 20+ years. She is the Founder and Director of metrorelationship.com a psychotherapy and coaching practice specializing in working with busy professional and entrepreneurial couples who are struggling getting on the same page and feeling connected. The work helps couples create a radiant and successful relationship and meaningful life by becoming a strong partnership and increasing their connection, intimacy, and fun. Emma is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Relationship Strategy™.
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