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Metro Relationship

METROPOLITAN MARRIAGE & FAMILY THERAPY, PLLC

Are You Treated Like Royalty?

Are You Treated Like Royalty?

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You have to be happy with yourself first… You cannot be happy in your relationship if you are not first happy with your Self… If you are not your Authentic Self, your Soul Self, you are just a robot completing daily tasks and missing the whole point of life… This is not Living…

What is the purpose of your Life? Why are you alive, today, right now? 

I believe we all have a Purpose and we have unhappy and dissatisfying lives when we are not living our purpose, when we are not living from our Authentic Self, when we are not in alignment with our Soul. We are “embodied energy” living a human experience. Liken it to being on a mission and donning a costume, or uniform. You are the Hero of your Story. What is your Story? What is your Mission? What is the point of You?

We waste so much time and effort going about life with blinders on and focusing on unimportant things. We miss the point completely! We create mediocre lives at best, lives without purpose. We get stuck in our little perspective, drag our partner into it, and battle there. Wow, are we ignorant and blind. This is painful to witness. But it doesn’t have to be this way!

It is our job to WAKE UP to our Life, to open our eyes, to take off the shades. When we start getting in touch with who we REALLY are, how magnificent we are, how important we are, how needed we are and humbly accept our “assignment”, mission, Purpose, then everything changes…

We transcend daily nonsense (Ego) for the beauty (Blessings) in it all, for it is all beautiful… There is a reason for everything… Our job is to translate our experiences into lessons and use them for the greater good… There is something in each of us that is a Gift waiting to be shared.

Take a moment to thread your experiences and find the common denominator. What is the theme in your life? What situations, circumstances, lessons keep creeping up? What is getting louder and louder in your life? What is the message that you are not getting? What is the code you have to crack?

Stop blaming your partner for the quality of your life… Stop waiting for your partner to create the life you want… Own your Self. Be your Authentic Self. Show up in your relationship. Be Understanding and Accepting in your relationship. Be Compassion in your relationship. Be Abundance in your relationship. Be Love in your relationship. No “Buts”…! Stop it and own your Self!

Stop waiting for your partner to do something different. See your partner’s Core. Don’t get hang up on their appearance, on their behavior, and especially not on their defense mechanisms (protective behaviors). Look beyond all this and see the purity of your partner. Witness your partner’s Soul… They have a code to crack as well after all, but that’s on them… Don’t get hand up on the minutiae of your interactions. Be with your partner!

When your Souls team up… now that’s where the Awesomeness is. That’s where your untapped Synergy is. That’s where the Purpose is… Your partner is your Partner! Don’t take them for granted. They are not your enemy, they are your ally. It’s time you recognize this and treat them like Royalty. Humbly embrace your Kingdom and uplift the world. Be the Hero in your Story. The Universe is the limit!

Complete the MetroRelationship™ Assignment below to help you effortlessly implement this, make changes and immediately start experiencing your awesome relationship. Share your thoughts and progress on our blog page!  

Happy Uplifting!

 

~ Your MetroRelationship™ Assignment

How do you know if you are on the right track? What’s the best way to go about your Life?

Listen to your Feelings… Not your Ego! Your Feelings… Make your feelings your compass.  They are the language of the Soul. That’s your Authentic Self’s built in guiding mechanism… Follow your Heart… At every juncture ask, “What would make me feel Good?”

Honor your Self.  Pursue Happiness. Add simple pleasures. Give and Receive TLC freely… Make this part of your daily approach to life and your relationship.

Make Meditation a part of your daily life as well. This is your direct line to your Self, your Soul…

When you start aligning with your Authentic Self, Soul, things begin to make sense…, your life becomes more beautiful… It’s actually this simple…

Add this to your Tool Kit…

 

   Copyright (c) 2016 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.

 

Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? 

Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: 
Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com. 

 

Are You Up for Unconditional Love?

Are You Up for Unconditional Love?

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I often find that couples hold a fairy tale expectation of happily ever after, for which I chide them. I dismiss this notion not because it seems unrealistic, but because couples go about creating their fairy tale all wrong. For you see, “happy endings” are possible… This is called unconditional Love…

I used to think unconditional love in and of itself was unrealistic, but boy was I wrong! I myself, bought into the self-preservation approach to love. That being in a committed relationship and loving someone had to look a certain way, my way…

And, since I’m the Relationship Expert, I knew best! (my poor husband…). Talk about being egocentric… Can you imagine living with a know-it-all, always right, “their s***t don’t stink” person? I’m sure you can…

The moment I “detached” from outcomes, let go of my way, and “freed” my husband to be himself, is when everything changed… I actually beheld my husband for the first time in many years… I know that leap of faith, letting go of control, and trusting that you’d be OK is nauseatingly scary. It is also painful.

As you let go of preconceived notions, “attachments”, and your usual way of being it feels at first like a loss and like your world is upside down… This is the worst of it (taming your ego…) and I know you can get through it… The rest is magical (embracing your and your partner’s Authentic Selves)…

Please understand that true and unconditional love creates freedom, the flame that fuels healing, growth, change, creativity, self-expression, aliveness and joy. This is the Key to our Authentic Self. When we hold dear conditional love, what I call the self-preservation approach to love, we snuff out the flame. Conditional love flows from egocentrism and separatism, fear.

When we have conditions that need to be met, we are saying, “I’m afraid that __________”. This is a restrictive way of being and loving to “make sure” we get what we want, when in actuality this prevents our partner from being and giving from their awesomest self… We are cheating ourselves of something better that actually meets our needs even better!

Conditions are stifling. When we set conditions and parameters we truncate the opportunity for growth and change. We resist change, we resist something different, we resist our partner’s ways, and what we resist persists (a universal law…). Conditional love is your love of love, not love of your partner… Built into conditional love is the fear that your needs won’t be met and you won’t be OK.

But you invariably are guarantying this by restricting your partner from fully showing up for you! Conditional love does not allow for expansion, inclusiveness, connection, and Authenticity.

Conditionality restricts freedom and happiness as we are tied to conditions and outcomes… It eliminates our ability to choose how to show up, Be our best Self, and be Happy at any given moment. You are doing yourself and your relationship a huge disservice by holding on to your fairy tale conditional self-preservation and rescuing approach to love.

You are actually setting up your relationship to fail right off the gate. “Happy endings” are guaranteed only when there is a freedom and unconditional (accepting and compassionate) approach to Love. Take your risk now – accept, detach, and let go!  

Happy Unconditional Loving!

 

~ Your MetroRelationship ™ Assignment

Think about the “conditions” you hold your partner to in your relationship. Think about how these can be restrictive to them. How do they limit your partner from embracing their Authentic Self, for your sake…? Note how at the end of the day, neither of you is satisfied… Decide to let go of this “condition” and inform your partner of how you are “freeing” them of this condition (no strings attached please!).

This is an act of Love, a Gift (to both of you!)…

Accept, Detach, and Let Go!

Add this to your Tool Kit…

 

   Copyright (c) 2016 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.

 

Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? 

Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: 
Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com. 

 

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