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METROPOLITAN MARRIAGE & FAMILY THERAPY, PLLC

Start a new relationship, with your partner

Start a new relationship, with your partner

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It’s been a wonderful Season so far of clearing, replenishing, and resetting ourselves. As we move into the lovely holiday weekend with Passover and Easter, if you observe, we can expand on the meaning of the holiday beyond the religious message. I love to experience this time as a time for new beginnings… A time for rebirth, for freely pursuing our heart and our dreams, for beginning anew, for blooming, for thriving…

And, I love applying this lens to our Relationship… This is a time for recommitting to our partner and for starting a new chapter in our relationship, maybe even a new book! Regardless of the status of your relationship, here is another opportunity to reinvest in creating the relationship you desire.

You have a chance to create a new relationship with your partner. You have a chance to start new. I’m all for milking any and all opportunities in front of me. How about you?

So, what does this mean for our relationship? Of course, feel free to run with this concept as fits your life, relationship, current status, style, creativity, and such, but for my priming let’s entertain the idea (don’t overthink this!) of how different things could be if you had no choice but to succeed at your relationship…

How would you show up if all of a sudden:

  1. Your relationship is brand spanking new and you’d inherit trillions of dollars if you create a successful relationship…
  2. You only have a few days left to live and want to enjoy a successful relationship experience…
  3. You lost your relationship memory but know you love and enjoy your partner and have a successful relationship…
  4. You are in a gameshow where you win big bucks if you are selected as the best couple with the most successful relationship…
  5. You are the poster couple for relationships being showcased to teach children about successful relationships…
  6. You are the last couple post-apocalypse and have to role model a successful relationship for the future of humanity…
  7. You are going on a very dangerous mission and want to leave a recorded year-in-the-life of Mom and Dad’s successful relationship for your children…
  8. You are in a foreign world where the inhabitants are to be terminated unless they learn from you how to be an amazing couple, and create a successful relationship…
  9. Your life is threatened, unless you engage your partner creating a successful relationship…
  10. You swap identities with the partners of the most well-known/public, wealthy and successful relationship in the world…

What is the common denominator in the above?

To be the best you can be in your relationship, no matter what… It’s interesting what comes up when you entertain this (again, play along, don’t logic this!).

How would you be in your relationship, if you had no choice but to show up with your best self? It’s also interesting to see what happens when we do show up with our best self… This is what I teach our couples. It makes a huge difference once the partners focus on what they contribute and step up their own game…

Your Assignment this week: Right about now is the perfect time to commit anew to your Partner, the Relationship, and to creating a Successful Relationship. Dust-off your yearly goals and see what you had for Relationship Enrichment. Tweak those as necessary to capture the recommitment, starting new, the gorgeous meaning of the season, and properly kick off Q2!

Your relationship is what you make of it… Your relationship depends on the attention you give it… Your relationship depends on what you put in it… Your relationship depends on how you treat your Partner… Your relationship depends on how you show up… Commit to creating a New Relationship with your Partner… It CAN be done…

Be the partner you want to be… Be your best… Regardless of how your partner is being… You always have the option of no longer being in the relationship. But if you are in it, Be ALL in!

Stay tuned for the next issue on how to create your New Strategy.

Share your insights and impact by leaving a comment below! I’d love to learn what you are able to accomplish and create when you are resourced.

Happy Committing!

 

 

   Copyright (c) 2020 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.

 

Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? 

Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: 
Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com. 

 

Do You Want to Succeed?

Do You Want to Succeed?

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Do you remember when you were a kid and wanted something really badly?
Whether you nagged someone to death to get it, or tried, rehearsed, or practiced incessantly – you knew what it would take to get it and went for it. As kids we knew that repeating actions got results: learning to ride a bike, swim, dive, run faster or longer, speak another language, play an instrument, make baskets, ace tests, drive, beat a game, etc. Somehow as we got older we learned to expect quick results, or give up after a couple of tries. Long gone are the days of trial and error, persistence and perseverance. How did we outgrow these strengths?

Somewhere along the way, we developed our Ego…
Which tells us that some things are beneath us, that what we want should be easy or it’s not meant to be…, that sticking through something is for chumps, that it shouldn’t be hard to get what we want, that we shouldn’t have to work so hard, etc. Even though there is some truth in these, how we frame them and apply them is what is important. For example, some things are beneath us. Being a jerk to less fortunate peeps is beneath us. At the end of the day we are all equal… Doing some tasks might be beneath us, but not because we are better than someone else but because we are wasting our talents and gifts… Get my drift?

The problem here is that we do not place these in the proper context and as a result we lose sight of our path and our innate strengths…
It is time to reclaim our inner child’s characteristics and strengths and lead with them. It is time to play a bigger game. And, yes, this does mean being persistent, focused and obsessed. This is how things get accomplished… This is how we get results. Any highly successful person will attest to this…

Highly successful peeps don’t give up at the first sign of disappointment, when they think they’ve tried it all – they still find something else to try…, they create habits and structures that support them, they ask for help when needed, they surround themselves with a success team… Right? This applies to all areas of our life, not just our career or business. It’s just like when we were kids, we practiced doing cartwheels until we could do them effortlessly. Why should our relationship be any different? Why do peeps give up on their partner? Treat your relationship like a cartwheel, keep trying to get it until you do. For if you go at anything with that much enthusiasm, investment and commitment you will get it! How many times did Thomas Edison try before he succeeded in inventing the light bulb?

I know that this sentiment might feel outdated, naïve, unrealistic, codependent, etc. in today’s society…
But I believe we give up way too easily on most things we want, especially our relationship. Now I’m not suggesting just staying in a relationship to say you had a long-term relationship… I’m whole-heartedly saying to make your relationship work. If you want your relationship to work, it will! If you go at it as if there is no option but for it to work, you’ll see the difference… This is my approach to my couples and it makes a massive difference…

Stop trying the same things, go at it from a different angle.
Get support. Put a success team in place to assist you: house cleaner, sitter, therapist/coach, routine massages and other self-care, etc. Treat your relationship like a goal… Decide how you want your relationship to look and go for it. Break it down to actions, behaviors, and investments. For every characteristic you wish in your relationship, there is at least one behavior you can do consistently to create it… Check it out: Trust – transparency, commitment – dated plans, intimacy – sharing, passion – vulnerability, connection – touching base; you try…

Go for it in terms of how you want to be as a partner…
Start being the partner you want to be by consistently carrying out actions to invest in your relationship bank. Make a deposit everyday. Create Relationship Success Habits…

The key is to stay focused, be persistent, and to make consistent targeted, relevant and concrete investments in your relating.

Focus on what YOU are investing and keep doing it… Complete the MetroRelationship™

Assignment below to help you effortlessly implement this, make changes and immediately start experiencing your awesome relationship, and Authentic Life… Please share your takeaways on our Blog! Happy Investing!   ~ Your MetroRelationship™ Assignment

Pick a Relationship Characteristic you’d like to experience and treat it like a goal… What skills, stretches, do you need to learn? What actions can you implement to become proficient? What concrete investments can you make? Integrate these consistently into your routine, daily interactions. Liken this to being an athlete and training. As an athlete you’d always invest in staying healthy, fit and on top of your game. Make the same kind of commitment in your relationship. Keep on investing, keep a consistent approach and always step it up a notch… Go for the gold! Add this to your Tool Kit…

 

   Copyright (c) 2016 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.

 

Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? 
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: 
Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com. 

 

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