We have a new season, and Spring at that. With it comes the promise of fresh starts and new beginnings. As nature comes alive we let go of the gloomy, the sedentary, and the stale. Any new season or transitions actually bring with them the opportunity for new beginnings, but Spring is really special as we witness mother nature have its fresh start. This is a perfect moment to ride this wave of momentum for newness.
This is an opportunity to let of things that suffocate us, that unground us, and misalign us…
We can focus our “Spring Cleaning” in 3 main areas:
1~ Environments, routines, calendar, workload, projects, systems and such 2~ Relationship, family, friendships, community, networks 3~ Body, mind and spirit…
When we are cluttered and toxic in these areas we experience:
1~ Overload and exhaustion 2~ Conflict and disconnect 3~ Unwellness and disease
Then it behooves us to declutter, detox, and deprogram these areas to release any stuck energy and create bandwidth and space for the new…
For each area we can do an overhaul or a minor tweak, whatever makes sense for our life at this time.
Here are minor tweaks for immediate results:
1~ Clean out a few little spots in your environments that are cluttered 2~ Change your self-talk or interactions with your loved ones to have a more accepting, compassionate and kind tone 3~ Identity a trigger that still gets you and address it at the core- identify the driving need behind it and meet it yourself and through your relationship… (This is Couples Therapy at its best to change emotional programming…)
Of course, we can do so much in each of the above areas. And, you are welcome to do as much as your heart desires. Everything can stand to be revisited, streamlined, or spruced up… But know that even the littlest “spring cleaning” will create a refresh. Be wise about what you choose, go for what gives the largest impact… That gives the largest release and creates the most spaciousness…
We talked about clearing for your refreshing to allow the newness… But I’d like to go further with this and offer ways to ride the momentum of the freshness that’s in the air and to capitalize on your refresh to actually realize new beginnings…
And that is aligning with the sacredness of life for balance, flow, and aliveness…
The first way to do that is to honor and sync with the cycles of life: ~ nature’s seasons ~ lunar cycle ~ hormonal cycle
The second way is to embrace divine nourishing practices: ~ eat nutritious food, hydrate and sleep well… ~ relate authentically with openness and vulnerability… ~ pray, meditate, reflect…
When you create the spaciousness and infuse it with nourishment, you’ll get the aliveness, connection and upleveling you are seeking. This is how you uplevel your self, your relationship, and your life…
This refresh will quite down all the noise in your life… This quite, stillness, expands and elevates your consciousness, where you become more who you really are, one with Oneness. And this is the access point to accelerate the transformations, creations, manifestations, and realizations in your life… You have access to all you need… Just open up to this new realization and let the newnessflow in…
The only thing left in this process is to be really intentional about what kind of newness you want… And then take a first step towards creating something new… Towards creating a new beginning…
Here is to your refresh and all the newness you desire…
PSS: Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?
Copyright (c) 2024 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
When we are looking to create change, uplevel, and make a move in our relationship and our life, we might find that we don’t know where to start. Or that we have tried all the things we know and ran out of ideas and so are feeling hopeless. Or that we feel so stuck we want to give up. Or that we know what we have to do but are too scared to take a first step or an action towards making a change. All this is part of the human experience when we are trying to better our situation, create what we desire and continue to evolve to the best version of ourselves…
But not to fret, even though this is part of the human experience, it doesn’t mean that we have to endure additional suffering. It doesn’t have to be hard at the end of the day.
If we were to actually fully own ourselves and not our partner or others, if we stayed in our circle. If we focused on honoring ourselves, our own evolution and growth, and how we show up to our relationship and our life instead of using excuses, victimizing ourselves and blaming others. We’d truly be empowered and able to create what we desire in all areas of our life…
What if we were to focus on keeping our side of the street clean… On showing up with our best self- resourced, self-regulated and soothed, boundaried, compassionate, attuned and kind and generous. Can you image how fast your interactions would shift? How fast your relationship would uplevel? I can, I see it day in and day out not only in my own relationship but in countless others with the couple therapy work we do.
What is some of the work to do?
~ Declutter your relationship and life perspective- clean up distorted thinking ~ Clear, deconstruct and deprogram patterns- heal and release old wounds and stuck emotions ~ Detox from defensive and reactive mechanisms- upgrade coping mechanisms and self-regulation ~ Reset stories, scripts and narratives- replace the victim with a victor mindset ~ Clean up your approach to your partner and your circumstances- try different tactics, skills and tools
When you let go of the old, the hurts, wounds, patterns, practices, habits, characteristics, and such, you create space to become more who you are- your better version of you, creating a refresh for the new to immerge in all areas of your life…
Here is to a replenishing and shifting refresh and to all the newness!
In today’s podcast episode, I have a lovely and fun conversation with Cinthia Hiett, also a relationship expert, where we discuss toxic interactions in relationship, dealing with an immature spouse or an immature partner, what codependency looks like in relationship and in the world, how to set boundaries, growing ourselves up and dealing with our inner child, and so much more.
PSS: Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?
Copyright (c) 2024 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
As we are entering the season of cleaning, decluttering, cleansing, clearing, and detoxing for a refresh and to create space for newness, for a rebirth, we are faced with the choice of how much, if at all, we play with this. It is up to us how we choose to do our Journey. Are we proactive and victors, or are we passive and victims in our relationship and our life… Whatever our usual, we are still faced with a choice. If you are usually passive, here is a chance to step up your game.
And let me tell you, we can play full out or simply select an area to focus on and go about it gently. Whatever our style of doing things, we can honor that if that serves us or we can choose to change even that if we are looking to really uplevel our relationship and our life…
Usually how we do anything is how we do everything…
But we can empower ourselves and start making different choices. We can take more ownership and choose to do things differently, to change habits, to deprogram, to become our best self, the best partner, and the best human we can…
We can choose to stop being who we usually are (a collection of habits and patterns…) or at least relieve the parts that no longer serve us to uplevel ourselves. Things we’d address include our sensitivities, pet-peeves, coping mechanisms, defenses, reactions, and anything else that’s our go to…
Here is our chance to get rid of what we no longer want, what doesn’t work, what gets in our way and holds us back, what numbs, mutes, covers and snuffs us out… Anything that gets in the way of our authenticity, and our ability to be who we truly are…
We might have done a good amount of clearing (deprogramming and healing) already but have a bit more to do, or we might have not even started getting our house in order… This is where we get to choose how much we’ll tackle and where we want to focus.
Areas to focus on include but are not exclusive to:
We might not even know where to start, if we even want to, and never mind choosing how much to do. The whole thing might feel overwhelming.
Which brings me to what I want to offer today, and that is to check-in with yourself about this. Not to impetuously decide on something, as a reaction, from ego, or from the top of your head. Give yourself a chance to really get in touch with what investment would make the most sense for you. Where do you want to place your focus and energy to most move the needle forward.
To that end, a great solution for this is to practice Sitting in Silence…
Sitting in silence promotes:
Relaxation and stress relief
Calm and inner peace
Brain development
Physical healing
Mental health
Processing
Concentration and focus
Productivity
Learning
Self-awareness
Intuition
Creativity
Patience
Mindfulness
Sleep
As you get all these benefits, you’ll have a greater sense of where you need to place your focus and energy. You’ll know what areas need to be addressed first so you can leverage them for better and faster results, and ease…
And most importantly you’ll be doing the resourcing, deprogramming, and healing to begin with. You can’t go wrong! You’ll be already doing what you want to do before you even start doing it. Bam!
To draw the benefits of sitting in silence to support your refresh and help you create space for the new, be proactive about adding this to your daily routine… Put your devise away for a few minutes, and gift yourself this refresh for newness.
PSS: Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?
Copyright (c) 2024 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
With Springtime we embrace the chance for rebirth and for new beginnings, a cleansing of what we don’t need, no longer serves us, and holds us back to create space for the new… How about doing more of that specifically in our relationship? How about putting focus on removing any toxicity from our interactions…
As we continue our personal development Journey, becoming more who we are every day, we encounter friction in our relationship that is meant for our growth at the end of the day… Our circumstances and our partner are a mere projection of what’s inside us… If there is something we do not like, it behooves us to investigate how that is about us, and for us…
Instead of reacting by pointing the finger and focusing on how our partner has fallen short of our expectations and desires, how about we take personal inventory instead…
It is toxic to react with our egoic patterns regardless of how our partner shows up… This might be a tough pill to swallow, but there is a reason why something triggers you and other things don’t, and why what triggers you might not trigger someone else… All of that is just for you…
So how about keeping that knowledge handy to inform our awareness and perception, so we can more easily not react and be toxic in our relationship…
If we know what patterns we tend to create, what we want to change, and who we want to become, then let’s start by not showing up with more of the usual… Let’s be intentional about how we show up.
That intentionality can start first thing in the morning, when you choose to:
~ Remember you are more than your memories, your identity, your egoic patterns, and your habits…
~ Align with your true self, not the story of you…
~ Show up this day with who you are becoming and what kind of partner you want to be…
You have a choice in all this. Yes, the habitual aspect makes it difficult to do something different but that’s where the power of intentionality comes in. Activate it first thing in the morning and reset it throughout the day when you find you have veered off course…
You have a choice on:
How to take something your partner said, did or didn’t do
How you’ll respond or address it
What you’ll focus on
What you show up with
How you continue the interaction
What you do after
How you move on
Where you go from there
How you choose to show up the rest of the time
How you show love…
Let your intentions guide you and serve as your beacon of Light…
APPLICATION: Acknowledge and embrace that your partner is a gift to your growth and evolution…
~ Identify where the most friction happens in your relationship and what info is there for your growth- the friction is not because your partner sucks!
~ Identify what kind of being you really are deep inside and how you need to be to Become more who you really are…
~ Identify what kind of responses, actions, and new habits and practices you’ll start to support your becoming and your radiant relationship…
Cultivating your Best Self and bringing it to your interactions consistently is what the doctor ordered to manifest your radiant relationship, and meaningful life…
Wishing you all the joy, connection and love today and always…
With Much Love & Light!
PS: Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?
Copyright (c) 2023 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
Plenty of research shows that the way we communicate impacts our relationship’s success, and this is true for all communication across all disciplines and contexts. But do we really need the research to tell us that? Can’t we immediately tell when we are in an interaction with someone else if we are being heard and understood? Can’t we immediately tell if we are connecting and resonating? Yes, we can! If we pay attention, we can see that the way we show up to our interactions impact how those interactions pan out… The more authentic we show up the better the interactions go…
I’m sure you’ve noticed that when you show up whiny, judgy, critical, controlling, demanding and the like, that you encounter resistance from the other side…
I’m sure you’ve noticed that when you show up open, vulnerable, compassionate, understanding, accepting, collaborative and the like, that you encounter receptivity, willingness, cooperation, resonance, and flow…
The key then is in how we make sure we show up for better connection and more resonance…
We want to show up with a clear conscious, which means we take full ownership of ourselves and accountability for our actions, we stop the blame game and waiting for others to change, we do what we know is right without making others wrong, and we take the high road even when others insist on pulling us into the low road…
We want to show up with our Best Self, which means we are resourced (not hungry, tired, disregulated), mindful, available, present, attuned, interested, intentional about having a clean, meaningful and loving interaction…
We want to show up with our heart, which means we check our ego and notice our patterns giving us the ability to be caring, forgiving, compassionate, generous, kind and tender, and specially to be vulnerable, forthcoming, and to speak our truth…
For this is where the connection and resonance will happen… When we truly show up to an interaction without all the layers of protection, defenses, and pretenses, is when we are truly showing up as ourselves and that is when we can be truly seen, accepted, and loved…
Unfortunately, most interact from pretentiousness, superficiality and shallowness. Then they wonder how come they feel alone, lonely, unseen, rejected, unappreciated and such.
If you are not showing up, there is nothing to appreciate…
If you are not showing up, there is no one with whom to connect…
If you are not showing up, there is no one with whom to vibe!
So take stock of where you are suffering, what is bothering you, what is not working in your life, what you would like to change, and see how much YOU are really showing up to those situations…
Take a look at the quality of your presence… Are you being conscientious, showing up with your Best Self and speaking from your heart?
Note, speaking from the heart and honestly doesn’t mean you have no filters and you have a out-of-jail-free-card where you can let it rip and give unsolicited feedback and share all your grievances about how someone else such- you see how damaging and inappropriate this is?
No, speaking from your heart means speaking YOUR truth (not the truth about others LOL). It means sharing your inner world about yourself (not your critical thoughts and impressions about others). It means sharing your hurt, your desires, your dreams…
Speaking from your truth means putting yourself out there to be seen, to be known, to be loved…
This also means using your intuition and judgment about whom to share yourself with, when and how… This is very important- we don’t want to set ourselves up in any way… Discernment is a virtue…
Start taking stock and making your shifts to speak your truth, gently and lovingly, more assertively when necessary, making sure you show up with who you really are and share your heart…
Show up with love, be love, and you’ll receive more love…
APPLICATION: Identify have you haven’t been fully authentic and true to yourself…
~ Make a list of things you hide, keep to yourself, have never shared, secrets, parts of yourself you hide, dreams and desired you suppressed, and everything else that is significant about you that you don’t let out- that you don’t honor at the end of the day…
~ Make a commitment to slowly but surely start showing up with more integrity, more authenticity, more vulnerability, more truly yourself…
~ Mark the items you want to do this with first and set the intention to mindfully and intentionally go about sharing yourself more…
It is time to start really showing up more to your relationship and your life…
With Much Love & Light!
PS: Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?
Copyright (c) 2023 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
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Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT has been in the mental health profession in varying capacities for the past 20+ years. She is the Founder and Director of metrorelationship.com a psychotherapy and coaching practice specializing in working with busy professional and entrepreneurial couples who are struggling getting on the same page and feeling connected. The work helps couples create a radiant and successful relationship and meaningful life by becoming a strong partnership and increasing their connection, intimacy, and fun. Emma is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Relationship Strategy™.
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