Have you ever stopped to think about what your ideal relationship with your partner would look like? If you had your dream relationship today, with your partner, what would be different?
Think about this from the stand point of how you would feel differently, what you would be doing differently, how you would be responding differently, how you would approach your partner differently, how you would look differently, how your routine, lifestyle, home, activities, foods, would be different… What else might be different? If you waved a magic wand and things were as you desire them, what would things be like?
Have you ever stopped to think about what your ideal life, with your partner, would look like? If you had your ideal life today, what would be different?
Think about this from the stand point of how you would feel differently, what you would be doing differently, how you would be responding differently to life events and daily minutia, how you would approach people and situations differently, how you would look differently, how your routine, lifestyle, home, activities, foods, would be different…
What else might be different? If you waved a magic wand and things were as you desire them, what would things be like?
What is coming up for you as you envision these? If you are feeling hopeless and depressed, know that you are not alone. If you are feeling worried and anxious, know that you are not alone. This kind of pondering kicks up fear… Sit for a moment and identify what kind of fear comes up for you: of not being good enough, measuring up, deserving, being accepted, or of being left, succeeding, failing, what?
What would you say if I told you that everything you identified in your ideal relationship and life, you can have… And, that you can have it right now… No, I’m not crazy. No, I’m not dreaming. And, no, I’m not naïve… I know that everything you need to have your awesome relationship and authentic life, you have right now… I know that you can make your vision a reality. It ALL starts with YOU…
Please remember the secret. It is all a state of mind… And, using our mind well… We create our reality with our mind… We can actually rewire ourselves and change our molecular structure… Yes, we are that powerful! Address your fears… All our experiences are there for a reason; they have a purpose. Your job is to use all the triggers, messages, teachings, resources, insights, intuition, and guidance for your and everyone’s highest good.
When you use everything you got, really own yourself, embrace the highest level of Personal Accountability (for real, no lip service…) your vision becomes instantaneously your reality… Believe me I understand this is difficult to imagine, when you are on the other side… But when you come over and start owning and embracing this full personal accountability concept, the world is a different place… I promise…
It is this easy, and it is this challenging. The concept is easy (if you are open, anyway…). The application takes a bit more investing because we get in our own way. We let our ego and mindset, lack of ownership and personal accountability, hold us back.
We don’t throw everything at it. We are arrogant. We know best. Well, how is that working out for you? I know that I have made the biggest strides in all areas of my life when I “surrendered”. When I let go of my Ego and accepted assistance. When I decided to invest in my Self. And, holy moly is it paying off!
I want you to look at every single interaction, thought, action, behavior, choice, decision, and all the rest from the angle of, what can I do different to get a better outcome? If you find that your answer is, nothing. Try again, and again, and again. You are not perfect, therefore you can always do something different or better for a better outcome… It’s a given. When you say, “nothing”, you are not being fully accountable…
Use this rule of thumb going forward and see what a difference this makes. Be prepared to be stretched… Once, you get over the hump and break this habit, or rather embrace the having full Personal Accountability habit, you will automatically be in a different place…
So, if this is not enough to start turning your world upside down, in a good way, here is an additional take on this for those of you looking for a bigger challenge. Go back to your vision and take a look at who you “Are” in your vision. Take a moment to sit with the vision, the feeling of it, of “who you are”. Reaaally feel it. This is your new Identify… This is the new you. Own it…
Then, have EVERYTHING in your life flow from this new identify, from the new you… This is an unbelievable exercise. You’ll be surprised at the nuances that are different as you do life from a different angle… It’s quite amazing.
And, if you are struggling with any of this, here is a short cut: Act-As-If. Maybe you are beginning to get all this, but are having difficulties implementing and creating changes, or taking things to the next level. It’s OK. While you continue to process, feel, stretch, own, become more accountable and such, with this tool you can still get the benefits of a different experience even if you haven’t completely come to the other side yet…
It’s all-good as long as you are intentional and keep investing. Keep the momentum going, create new outcomes. See you on the other side!
Complete the MetroRelationship™ Assignment below to help you effortlessly implement this, make changes and immediately start experiencing your awesome relationship, and Authentic Life… Please share your takeaways on our Blog!
Happy Accounting!
~ Your MetroRelationship™Assignment
You are the Master of your Life. You are the author of your story. You are the creator of your masterpiece. You are the CEO of mylife.com. You are the King / Queen of your Castle. If you were to own this identify, what are two things you would implement immediately to ensure a Thriving Kingdom and Royal Treatment. Go ahead and implement them now! Add this to your Tool Kit…
Copyright (c) 2016 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
Have you ever wondered how some people create successful lives and others settle for mediocre ones? Have you taken this a step further and wondered how some people create successful relationships and others settle for mediocre ones? I have.
This is my life’s purpose… It’s a constant wonder and question for me. My every breath, thought, and action revolve around this. I’m obsessed with this. There is a common theme to my musings, research, and work driven by the question of how we can Be our Best Self… Reach our Highest Potential…
What’s really amazing to even me is that I don’t get tired of this and I’m not kidding, I’m obsessed. I build my days around these concepts. They drive my every intervention in session with my clients and are the drivers behind everything I create.
How can we do this better? How can we build on our strengths? How can we invest, contribute, nurture, related, etc. better? All driven by a desired to see people accomplished in life and in their relationship… I want us to have our best Human Experience…
As I continue on my search to assist others, and myself, in this endeavor I have found a common denominator underlying an awesome life and relationship. I have found that to be Self Love and Self Acceptance… I’ve written about this before maybe not in these exact terms, but the theme has been pervasive. It is ringing loud in my head.
As if I’m to go to the top of a mountain and yell this down for those that still don’t get it to get on board… I’m reading works on high achievement and performance, peak potential, conscious living and the like. I’m fine-tuning my language and context… I’m learning that even more specifically, the key is Self Mastery.
It exhilarates me to explore and research this, to connect the dots in different ways, to integrate concepts, fields and schools in new ways, to translate them into accessible frameworks, to devise practical mechanisms for ready consumption for improving our quality of life and relationship.
The marrying of Self Mastery to creating our Authentic Life and Awesome Relationship is paramount. I am now understanding more and more my purpose…, how I’m the translator and integrator of these concepts and conduit for implementation. At first glance, this might all seem obvious and others are already on this wagon. But if this is so obvious and accessible, why aren’t we all extremely successful in all areas of our life?
I know that we are our own worst enemy. We for sure get in our own way. I see this day in and day out in my practice, and dare I share, in my own life. I know we are not perfect. But I know most of us can do much better than we do… Therefore, the challenge of the day is how can we improve our Self Mastery? How can we take charge of ALL aspects of our lives in a way that create massive results for us?
We have a tendency to play victim, point fingers, blame circumstances, and find excuses for things that don’t go as we wish in our lives. What we fail to see over and over is that we are creating our life either intentionally or unintentionally. Either by design, or by accident and lack of ownership, we are creating it…
It is imperative that we start taking charge, that we set out to intentionally create what we desire, that we make sure we function at our most optimal level, that we do not leave anything to chance. Why wouldn’t we go about creating a Magnificent Life and Relationship intentionally, rather than leaving it to chance and trial and error? Doesn’t that seem silly to you not to do so?
So for today, I want us to first take a pledge to take our life seriously and to decide to create a Master Piece – obviously including our relationship… Then, I want us to focus on developing Self Mastery.
This means: — Learning Healthy Self Soothing and Self Management Techniques — Working Through Fear and Limiting Mindset — Breaking Bad Habits and Creating Healthy Ones — Developing, Implementing and Sticking to our Self Care Plan — Generating Naturally Unlimited Energy — Harnessing the Power of Focus — Creating a Personal Brand — Embracing Your Purpose
I know that Being our Best Self invites our Partner’s Best Self to come out and play with us… I know that when we bring our Best Self forward, we create and attract awesomeness in our life and relationship. I know that when we bring our Best Self forward that we live our Authentic Life. I know that when we rock, we Rock!
Complete the MetroRelationship™ Assignment below to help you effortlessly implement this, make changes and immediately start experiencing your awesome relationship, and Authentic Life…
Happy Rocking!
~ Your MetroRelationship™Assignment
Rate your level of Self Mastery in the areas listed below (1 lowest – 10 highest):
___ Learning Healthy Self Soothing and Self Management Techniques
___ Working Through Fear and Limiting Mindset
___ Breaking Bad Habits and Creating Healthy Ones
___ Developing, Implementing and Sticking to our Self Care Plan
___ Generating Naturally Unlimited Energy
___ Harnessing the Power of Focus
___ Creating a Personal Brand
___ Embracing Your Purpose
Note your top 3 lowest ratings. Pick one of these. This requires your immediate attention to get you moving further along your path of High Achievement, Accomplishment and Success in your life AND relationship. Determine how you will invest in enhancing your Self Mastery in your chosen area. Determine your first actionable step towards implementation, and get to it! Add this to your Tool Kit…
Copyright (c) 2016 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
When couples struggle it is very common to find that the partners have not yet found a way to honor and support each other in genuine, compassionate and generous ways. Partners share that they have tried it all and are tired of not getting anything back, getting their needs met, nor being able to create an awesome relationship.
They participate in their relationship with an ego (fear-based, selfish, and self-centered) approach. These partners have difficulties letting go and trusting their partner…
This is when partners are controlling, overfunctioning, overwhelmed, frazzled, accident prone, chaotic, exhausted, and rundown. They have poor boundaries, take on too much, can’t say no, can’t seem to implement and stick with self-care routines, have no clue as to how to delegate, are stingy about investing in support, and get in their own way of success and embracing their magnificence.
It gets as bad as impacting their finances, household ambiance, and personal appearance. They are possibly even facing health issues and might be dealing with infertility. This is not a fun way to be in relationship and live our life!
So, if our relationship and our life are so miserable, why do we keep doing more of the same? I’m sure you know that by doing more of the same we get more of the same results. I find that partners want to create a different relationship without stretching, growing, healing and changing…
They prefer to focus on what is wrong with their partner, working on changing their partner or waiting for their partner to change… They dig their heals in, in the name of “this is who I am… take it or leave”. For things to be different, YOU have to change!
We of course do not want to change the core you, your Authentic Self, who you ARE. What we do want to change is your not owning your Authentic Self, your not honoring your Self! And, your funky approach to your life and your relationship that at the end of the day is not serving either of you… We want to change how you are with your Self and with your Partner.
Do you find that you abandon your Self…? That you are not there for yourself and don’t appropriately take care of yourself? Be careful how you answer these questions. A lot of times we think we are taking care of ourselves but instead we are either doing more of the same which hasn’t been working, shoot ourselves in the foot, or are being reactive and not honoring…
How can we trust others to be there for us, when we are not even there for ourselves? We can take this a step further. How can others love us, if we don’t love ourselves…?
Mind your ego… I’m sure it is telling you that your partner can’t support you, that you’ve tried that with horrible results. And, the like… Stop that line of thinking right now. Don’t host a dinner party for your ego. I’m sure your partner supports you in ways that you don’t even recognize… I’m sure your partner is willing to support you better… This is the moment of truth. Do you want to have an awesome relationship? If so, give your partner a chance!
Complete the MetroRelationship™ Assignment below to help you effortlessly implement this, make changes and immediately start experiencing your awesome relationship, and Authentic Life… Please share your takeaways on our Blog!
Happy Supporting!
~ Your MetroRelationship™ Assignment
Get support now!
From your Self – implement a meditative practice, NOW! This is a direct channel to your Authentic Self, your Soul. This is the easiest way to stop the abandonment and build connection with your Self. This is the fastest way to honor and know your Self. This is the best way to attune with your Life’s purpose…
From your Partner – identify one behavior your partner does to support you that you haven’t recognized and acknowledge this to your partner. Select a supportive behavior you would like from your partner and responsibly, appropriately, and clearly ask for it.
Add this to your Tool Kit…
Copyright (c) 2016 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
Search Blog!
STAY CONNECTED WITH US, SUBSCRIBE TO OUR NEWSLETTER
And, Get a FREE Relationship Enrichment Mini Course!
You CAN create the relationship you desire!
With this Mini Course learn how to immediately Break your Impasse, Improve your Communication, Increase your Intimacy, Connection and Fun, & Create a Strong Partnership...
And with Emma’s weekly Love rich with Personal Development & Relationship Enrichment know-how, announcements, resources and more straight into your inbox.
Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT has been in the mental health profession in varying capacities for the past 20+ years. She is the Founder and Director of metrorelationship.com a psychotherapy and coaching practice specializing in working with busy professional and entrepreneurial couples who are struggling getting on the same page and feeling connected. The work helps couples create a radiant and successful relationship and meaningful life by becoming a strong partnership and increasing their connection, intimacy, and fun. Emma is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Relationship Strategy™.
Pin It on Pinterest
We track visits and User's visit information to analyze our performance and trends in order to create targeted messaging and programs to best serve you. We use cookies to provide a personalized and smoother browsing experience. Refer to our Privacy Policy for additional details.
You consent to our tracking and cookies when using our Websites.OK
