When we are looking to create change, uplevel, and make a move in our relationship and our life, we might find that we don’t know where to start. Or that we have tried all the things we know and ran out of ideas and so are feeling hopeless. Or that we feel so stuck we want to give up. Or that we know what we have to do but are too scared to take a first step or an action towards making a change. All this is part of the human experience when we are trying to better our situation, create what we desire and continue to evolve to the best version of ourselves…
But not to fret, even though this is part of the human experience, it doesn’t mean that we have to endure additional suffering. It doesn’t have to be hard at the end of the day.
If we were to actually fully own ourselves and not our partner or others, if we stayed in our circle. If we focused on honoring ourselves, our own evolution and growth, and how we show up to our relationship and our life instead of using excuses, victimizing ourselves and blaming others. We’d truly be empowered and able to create what we desire in all areas of our life…
What if we were to focus on keeping our side of the street clean… On showing up with our best self- resourced, self-regulated and soothed, boundaried, compassionate, attuned and kind and generous. Can you image how fast your interactions would shift? How fast your relationship would uplevel? I can, I see it day in and day out not only in my own relationship but in countless others with the couple therapy work we do.
What is some of the work to do?
~ Declutter your relationship and life perspective- clean up distorted thinking ~ Clear, deconstruct and deprogram patterns- heal and release old wounds and stuck emotions ~ Detox from defensive and reactive mechanisms- upgrade coping mechanisms and self-regulation ~ Reset stories, scripts and narratives- replace the victim with a victor mindset ~ Clean up your approach to your partner and your circumstances- try different tactics, skills and tools
When you let go of the old, the hurts, wounds, patterns, practices, habits, characteristics, and such, you create space to become more who you are- your better version of you, creating a refresh for the new to immerge in all areas of your life…
Here is to a replenishing and shifting refresh and to all the newness!
In today’s podcast episode, I have a lovely and fun conversation with Cinthia Hiett, also a relationship expert, where we discuss toxic interactions in relationship, dealing with an immature spouse or an immature partner, what codependency looks like in relationship and in the world, how to set boundaries, growing ourselves up and dealing with our inner child, and so much more.
PSS: Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?
Copyright (c) 2024 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
As we are entering the season of cleaning, decluttering, cleansing, clearing, and detoxing for a refresh and to create space for newness, for a rebirth, we are faced with the choice of how much, if at all, we play with this. It is up to us how we choose to do our Journey. Are we proactive and victors, or are we passive and victims in our relationship and our life… Whatever our usual, we are still faced with a choice. If you are usually passive, here is a chance to step up your game.
And let me tell you, we can play full out or simply select an area to focus on and go about it gently. Whatever our style of doing things, we can honor that if that serves us or we can choose to change even that if we are looking to really uplevel our relationship and our life…
Usually how we do anything is how we do everything…
But we can empower ourselves and start making different choices. We can take more ownership and choose to do things differently, to change habits, to deprogram, to become our best self, the best partner, and the best human we can…
We can choose to stop being who we usually are (a collection of habits and patterns…) or at least relieve the parts that no longer serve us to uplevel ourselves. Things we’d address include our sensitivities, pet-peeves, coping mechanisms, defenses, reactions, and anything else that’s our go to…
Here is our chance to get rid of what we no longer want, what doesn’t work, what gets in our way and holds us back, what numbs, mutes, covers and snuffs us out… Anything that gets in the way of our authenticity, and our ability to be who we truly are…
We might have done a good amount of clearing (deprogramming and healing) already but have a bit more to do, or we might have not even started getting our house in order… This is where we get to choose how much we’ll tackle and where we want to focus.
Areas to focus on include but are not exclusive to:
We might not even know where to start, if we even want to, and never mind choosing how much to do. The whole thing might feel overwhelming.
Which brings me to what I want to offer today, and that is to check-in with yourself about this. Not to impetuously decide on something, as a reaction, from ego, or from the top of your head. Give yourself a chance to really get in touch with what investment would make the most sense for you. Where do you want to place your focus and energy to most move the needle forward.
To that end, a great solution for this is to practice Sitting in Silence…
Sitting in silence promotes:
Relaxation and stress relief
Calm and inner peace
Brain development
Physical healing
Mental health
Processing
Concentration and focus
Productivity
Learning
Self-awareness
Intuition
Creativity
Patience
Mindfulness
Sleep
As you get all these benefits, you’ll have a greater sense of where you need to place your focus and energy. You’ll know what areas need to be addressed first so you can leverage them for better and faster results, and ease…
And most importantly you’ll be doing the resourcing, deprogramming, and healing to begin with. You can’t go wrong! You’ll be already doing what you want to do before you even start doing it. Bam!
To draw the benefits of sitting in silence to support your refresh and help you create space for the new, be proactive about adding this to your daily routine… Put your devise away for a few minutes, and gift yourself this refresh for newness.
PSS: Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?
Copyright (c) 2024 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
Hey, here is our chance to design our upcoming year. What will you add to yours? Being intentional about the relationship and life we create Allows us to create it… Intentioning is very powerful and underestimated… We want to be proactive and intentional about our life design, but we don’t want to be rigid with this… The key is focusing on what you would like to have more of in the New Year.
Step1-Clearing: Decluttering, letting go and making room for the new Step2-Celebrating: Reviewing and acknowledging experiences and accomplishments Step3-Contemplating: Visioning and planning for what we’d like for the New Year Step4-Candescenting: Mapping out of radiant experiences to expand ourselves Step5-Coordinating: Integrating plans and goals into your lifestyle Step6-Communing: Getting on the same page and collaborating on this with our partner
The thing is that depending on where we are in our relationship and our life, and our current circumstances, we might benefit from doing more or less planning…
~ The more we feel we, our relationship, and our life are a mess, the more we benefit from having a more concrete thought-out plan, that has clear routines, habits, and tactics. We need to really choose the things we want in our life that flow from our desires, vision, and values.
We can’t leave things to chance because things are so chaotic that we’ll just create more of that. Without a clear plan and guidelines, we’d just keep spinning and banging around… And the less likely we are to get out of this situation and current circumstances…
~ The more we feel we are doing ok, the lighter the planning can be where we can be more organic in our approach to our life. In this case we are in fabulous health, we are creating a radiant and successful relationship with our partner, and our life feels magical… We manifest easily and with ease.
Things feel smooth, pretty, and abundant most of the time. We’ve done the heavy lifting, all the doing, all the grinding and have moved to a more magnetic, flowy, and peaceful approach to all aspects of our life…
Our approach to our planning for wrapping up the current year and setting ourselves up for the New Year is to be tailored to where we are and how we are doing.
Regardless of whether we need a more organized plan or a more fluid plan, I want to offer the next level to our “planning”…
The next planning level has to do with bringing more awareness and intentionality to our planning…
Sometimes the vision we are working towards, and the goals and strategies we have been operating from, might be outdated… We could be expanding on preferences and desires conceived and outlined from an older version of ourselves… To add to this for our coming year would be a mistake for us as it keeps up with the ladder leaning against the wrong wall.
A revision and update might be needed to really capture how we have evolved and where we want to go…
And this is the icing:
The key is to focus on Allowing more of what we are looking to have more of by getting out of our own way. By Letting Go of outdated ideas, limiting beliefs, scripts, fear, defenses, ego, and such…
When we clean ourselves up and get lighter by reprogramming or releasing patterns and stuck energies, then we are more resourced to make our dreams come true, dreams without attachments, dreams that just feel fabulous in their own right… Dreams that just come true, easily and with ease as if by magic…
Consider what do you want more of in your relationship/life, and what do you need to let go of to be able to create that in your relationship/life- to Allow that to come into your relationship/life… More clarity and a cleaner slate help us do the right planning for us.
Then, set a clear Intention of what you desire, what you would like to experience, in the coming year to electrify and magnetize your plan… Make your plan come Alive…
APPLICATION: Decide if you need an organized or a fluid plan for the new year if you haven’t done yours yet. Make a commitment to create yours by end the end of the year…
~ Make sure you capture what the new version of you desires ~ Make sure you bring in what you’d like to add to your relationship/life in the New Year ~ Set an Intention for how you’d like the upcoming year to flow and feel
Approaching your yearly planning in a flexible manner that honors where you are at and who you are becoming is a delightful way to set yourself up to have your Best Year yet!
Wishing you all the joy, connection and love today and always…
With Much Love & Light!
PS: Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?
Copyright (c) 2022 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
When we cultivate a letting go practice, we proactively embrace the art of allowing… Huh? Does this sound like a foreign language to you? It did to me when I first started my self-love (spiritual) practice!
There is a whole other lingo that comes along as our self-care and self-love practice evolves… Letting go in relationships doesn’t have to do with just forgetting things and letting others step on us… Having a letting go practice is a whole art onto itself. It has to do with stopping the control and resistance and allowing our higher-self, the universe, to have our back…
Depending on where we are in our Journey, we can learn further Letting Go in Relationships for a more magical relationship and life experience…
~ If you are not very spiritual, or have a very minimalistic or non-existent self-care practice, then all of this might sound foreign and airy-fairy to you. I promise, that being open to and entertaining these concepts and practices more are literally relationship and life transformative…
~ If you are more middle of the road, this is a wonderful place to be as you have experienced the power and magnificence unleashed by being in this open and allowing state, and are still hungry for what else is available…
~ If you are further along in your Journey, you Know and live more in a Unity Consciousness state where allowing comes now more naturally to you and you effortlessly manifest a magical relationship/s and life…
With each of these levels there are more or less trauma, wounds, defenses/patterns, darkness/shadows (unseen parts of ourselves), limiting beliefs, and such still stuck in your body and psyche.
The more we’ve done our work, the cleaner or freer we become of these, and the more we become our Authentic Self- we shift from our Lower-Self to our Higher-Self…
The thing here is that we don’t want to make doing our work, another addiction, another habit, another pattern, another way of controlling, being rigid, and staying contracted…
I’ve had clients that managed to weaponize the tools and skills they learned in session! They would hold this very high standard for using them perfectly and a certain way, and blow a gasket when imperfection inevitably showed up… Heart-centeredness, compassion, connection, and collaboration went completely out the window…
When partners take responsibility for their own Journey, and stop making their partner wrong, victimizing themselves, and making a case for their limitations, they are then able to fully reside in their power. They can finally invite their partner into a gorgeous new dance…
Their mere shifting the focus from their partner to themselves, and how they can show up differently makes all the difference! This shift is possible when the partners start connecting to themselves more… This can be done with a rich self-love practice that includes proper self-care and mindfulness practices.
Partners focusing on their inner-world and connecting with themselves, helps them address their traumas, release their patterns, bring their shadows to light reprogramming themselves– literally rewiring and reconstituting themselves… They do all the healing and all the transcending…
These practices help Letting Go of the tightness, the contraction the rigidity, the control, the blame, the projections, the drama and all the crazy… Allowing for radiance and awesomeness to be a more prevalent experience…
Depending on where you are in your Journey, your letting go in relationships practice might look anything from:
Cleaning and decluttering your home
Clearing your calendar and lessening your workload
Softening your body and your language
Reauthoring scripts and upgrading belief systems
Accepting or making heart-felt and genuine apologies
Releasing repressed feelings and energies
To letting go of plans and strategies and operating from Knowing and the Now…
Embracing a Letting Go in relationships allows us to create, manifest, the relationship and life we desire…
APPLICATION: Take note of where you have excess, tight control, holding grudges and resentments…
~ Create a quiet moment to go within, sit comfortably, take a few deep breaths, relax your body ~ Tune into your body and ask it where is it holding any suffering or pain… ~ Ask that body part and the suffering/pain if it has a message for you, what does it want you to know, what does it need, what would it like… ~ Thank your body for all it does and the pain for alerting you of what you need… ~ Translate the message into an action- e.i., do a 30-day challenge or a 90-day commitment/declaration, declutter your home, open a savings account for a special project or goal, give an apology, release a behavior, etc.
Embrace a Letting Go practice that honors all of you and creates more space and lightness…
Allow radiance in your relationship and your life…
Wishing you all the joy, connection and love today and always…
With Much Love & Light!
PS: Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?
Copyright (c) 2022 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
Our relationship and life are a reflection of the choices we make… I find that we make poor choices at almost every turn and then wonder how come our relationship and life are not as we’d prefer them to be… I find that we do not own our Self and our life, that we do not know who we are and what we are meant to do… I find that we do not take the time to design our relationship and our life.
I find that we are not intentional about creating the relationship and life we desire. I find that we do not Live in the moment and create a fabulous relationship, and life, in every moment…
We have a choice every moment on what to think, how to feel, what to focus on, what to work on, how to respond to things, what to do, what to add or remove from our life, how to set things up, etc. We do not intentionally exercise the power of choice. We mechanically and by default go through life… What an awful and unsuccessful way to Live!
It is time to create an Awesome Relationship and Authentic Life! It is time to implement the habits of highly successful people. This means being intentional about EVERYTHING. This means exercising your power to choose. This means owning, honoring, your Self…
Embrace these basic habits of highly successful people (as it relates to life and relationships):
1) Visualize and decide what kind of life and relationship you desire…
2) Have your relationship and life reflect your values
3) Have a plan and work it!
4) Create balance in your life
5) Manage your Self
6) Be open to feedback and act on it!
7) Work through rough stuff, don’t avoid it
8) Be courageous. Feel your fear, but take action anyway!
9) Create win-win situations (compromise)
10) Take educated risks
11) Address problems quickly and effectively, to resolution…
12) Be adaptable and embrace change
13) Be proactive, not reactive…
14) Be generous, compassionate and kind
15) Strive to always improve your communication and other relational skills
16) Be brutal about removing complaining and blaming from your repertoire
17) Focus on positives and strengths, efforts, contributions, gifts
18) Look for the lesson and stretch in everything; be always learning, healing, growing
19) Use your mind as a tool, your body as your home, your feelings as your compass
20) Be your Spiritual Self
It is time to create your Awesome Relationship and Authentic Life – show up to it, own it, design it, create it, live it!
Complete the MetroRelationship™ Assignment below to help you effortlessly implement this, make changes and immediately start experiencing your awesome relationship, and Life… Share your thoughts and progress on our blog page!
Happy Living!
~ Your MetroRelationship™ Assignment
Make a commitment to being the creator of your Awesome Relationship and Authentic Life.
Assert that you will exercise intentionality. That you will consciously choose at every turn.
Pick a Success Habit and implement it this week!
Add this to your Tool Kit…
Copyright (c) 2016 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
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Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT has been in the mental health profession in varying capacities for the past 20+ years. She is the Founder and Director of metrorelationship.com a psychotherapy and coaching practice specializing in working with busy professional and entrepreneurial couples who are struggling getting on the same page and feeling connected. The work helps couples create a radiant and successful relationship and meaningful life by becoming a strong partnership and increasing their connection, intimacy, and fun. Emma is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Relationship Strategy™.
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