Being thankful and grateful are qualities, strengths, and states that go beyond the month of November and Thanksgiving (the US holiday). These make a difference in the experience of our life. People tend to look outside themselves and to external factors to feel good and have a happy life. They believe that happiness is dependent on their circumstances… But time and again researchers, scholars and thought-leaders have shared that happiness is an internal state and a choice. One that can be cultivated and nurtured…
Happiness, life satisfaction, and longevity are all impacted by gratitude, connection, and purpose… These are the ingredients for creating our long, healthy, and happy life… A good life. Our Best Life.
~ Purpose is simply pursuing what is meaningful to us, that keeps us engaged and having a zest for life… We are always in-charge of our own internal world assigning meaning to everything in our external one… We have a choice as to what meaning we assign things and how we choose to look at everything, and what we choose to pursue. As exemplified by the work of Viktor Frankl, a psychiatrist that developed his theory while a concentration camp prisoner during WWII in his book Man’s Search for Meaning.
~ Connection to loved ones give us security and a sense of belonging… It gives our life further meaning and purpose… This is what keeps us going and what we live for… Robert Waldinger explains this in his TED Talk about what makes a good life describing the longest study on happiness.
~ A Gratitude Practice makes a big difference inour overall Happiness– Shawn Achor lists the key ingredients of this practice in his talks. This is what I’m calling embracing a #GratitudeAttitude. Which is looking for the good in things, focusing on the positives, seeing the blessings, appreciating the beauty in others and so on, adding dimension to our experience. It puts us in a different frame of mind. It raises our vibration. It transcends the minutiae and the mundane…
How about we take the pursuit of happiness seriously… And, by this I mean we take it easy in our approach to life and focus on the things that are actually important to creating the life we desire… Pursuing what gives us meaning including creating a successful relationship with our partner and minding our internal world including developing a #gratitudeattitude…
Let’s take being grateful to new heights by increasing our appreciations, acknowledgements and thanks-giving this month and going forward…
PSS: Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?
Copyright (c) 2023 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
Did you know that your relationship is actually happening inside your head vs out there in the world? Your relationship is what you make of it, how you choose to look at it, how you choose to look at your partner, and how you choose to show up and respond to them… You are super powerful in creating the relationship you want, only if you own your power… And, owning your power doesn’t mean giving ultimatums, digging your heals in, flexing your muscles, and being stubborn about what you want or spiteful and vengeful… These are completely the opposite of owning your power… Don’t take the low-road. Take the high-road if you want to create a successful relationship…
When we resort to interaction tactics that are less than loving, we are undermining our connection, our bond, our love…
Operating in your relationship as if you have to win a federal case, and treating your partner as the enemy, someone you have to win, beat or make wrong, does not serve the goal of creating a successful relationship…
~ Fighting for your partner to acquiesce to your wishes, to do as you desire, and to agree with you does not empower you as you might believe it does…
~ Fighting to be seen, acknowledged, and appreciated by your partner is not the solution to being respected and valued…
~ Fighting to get an apology, accountability, or support doesn’t put your partner on your side…
When we try to control how our partner is, how they see us, what they believe, think, feel, and do, we are putting our energy in the wrong place… We have no power over our partner… When we try to exert power like this over them, we are actually disempowering them and ourselves… For we have power over ourselves only and from this place we can impact and influence…
If we force it, we can break it…
If we force our partner into things, by them going along they betray themselves and in so doing harm comes to the relationship in the long run…
We don’t get a gold medal for manipulating, controlling, intimidating, and overpowering our partner… This is a very low-road approach to our interactions and relationship that doesn’t feel good to either partner at the end of the day… This is operating from the lower-self that is symptomatic, riddled with fear, has very limiting believes, and low emotional intelligence and resilience…
The lower-self operates from ego-patterns and defenses. This is just a state. Partners can choose to how they operate. They can choose to operate from a different state and show up with their higher-self instead. They can choose to not show up with low-road tactics, or engage in them if their partner is using them…
Our partner can’t fight on their own. It takes two to fight…
We can choose not to engage in nonsense and approach our partner from a more empowered state. One of neutrality, respect, calm, openness, flexibility, care, compassion, understanding and such… Any interaction or situation can be diffused with these…
When we use these skills and strengths, honor the commitment and love we have for our partner, and treat them with the due respect that their role as our Partner garners, we see our partner step up to what that position entails…
If we treat our partner with less than that, how can we expect them to treat us any differently? We can’t wait for our partner to go first- then everyone is waiting. We have to take the high-road, plant a flag, be the bigger person and go first… Your partner will follow suit, I promise… This is how powerful you are. This is how much you can impact and influence your relationship…
Don’t let the scripts, stories, assumptions and the rest of the noise running in your head, determine the success of your relationship… When you do, your experience gets colored, and you find a way to prove yourself right… This is the confirmation bias we are prone to… This does not serve us in creating our successful relationship. This does serve us in getting divorced if we are ok going down that path…
Don’t get tripped up by letting your ego run the show. Do allow your heart to lead the way. You’ll be surprised at how fast things can turn around…
When you allow yourself this right, and don’t shoot yourself on the foot, you’ll notice that there is a reason for your union. You complement each other with your oppositeness. You create a richer experience, a more fertile ground to practice your humanness… You get to experiment and play at the game of life together. You get to win that!
This approach is how you tap into your inherent relationship synergy, how you evolve, and how you have a huge impact in creating your successful relationship and meaningful life…
PSS: Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?
Copyright (c) 2023 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
What are we to do when we feel we tried it all to create change in our relationship, but nothing is working? I wager that there is actually a ton more that you can still do, without much effort…
I know that when we are frustrated and tired of the same arguments and conflicts that we are likely to feel hopeless and like giving up. It seems that everything we tried hasn’t worked and therefore like there is nothing left to do… But I promise that is just not the case…
It usually feels like there is nothing else we can do because we keep looking at our situation with the same lens on and the same filters. Which usually flow from an ego pattern and are negative. How are you supposed to see possibilities by looking at things in the same old way, and a negative way at that?
The way out of this conundrum is to realize how much power we actually have… We have tremendous power to impact and influence our partner and our relationship… Both positively and negatively…
But we are intentional about how we yield this power both partners can stand to reap amazing benefits.
This Month’s Theme is IMPACT, helping partners take their power back, fully own, and properly yield it.
If we want to create change in our relationship and in our life, it is time we take charge of creating what we desire. And we do it by fully owning our impact…
In today’s video I cover, how to: ~ Mind your Effect ~ Own your Shape ~ Optimize your Influence
So you have a positive impact on your relationship to create the relationship and life you want…
PSS: Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?
Copyright (c) 2023 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
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Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT has been in the mental health profession in varying capacities for the past 20+ years. She is the Founder and Director of metrorelationship.com a psychotherapy and coaching practice specializing in working with busy professional and entrepreneurial couples who are struggling getting on the same page and feeling connected. The work helps couples create a radiant and successful relationship and meaningful life by becoming a strong partnership and increasing their connection, intimacy, and fun. Emma is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Relationship Strategy™.
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