Take the high-road if you want to create a successful relationship…
Did you know that your relationship is actually happening inside your head vs out there in the world? Your relationship is what you make of it, how you choose to look at it, how you choose to look at your partner, and how you choose to show up and respond to them… You are super powerful in creating the relationship you want, only if you own your power… And, owning your power doesn’t mean giving ultimatums, digging your heals in, flexing your muscles, and being stubborn about what you want or spiteful and vengeful… These are completely the opposite of owning your power… Don’t take the low-road. Take the high-road if you want to create a successful relationship…
When we resort to interaction tactics that are less than loving, we are undermining our connection, our bond, our love…
Operating in your relationship as if you have to win a federal case, and treating your partner as the enemy, someone you have to win, beat or make wrong, does not serve the goal of creating a successful relationship…
~ Fighting for your partner to acquiesce to your wishes, to do as you desire, and to agree with you does not empower you as you might believe it does…
~ Fighting to be seen, acknowledged, and appreciated by your partner is not the solution to being respected and valued…
~ Fighting to get an apology, accountability, or support doesn’t put your partner on your side…
When we try to control how our partner is, how they see us, what they believe, think, feel, and do, we are putting our energy in the wrong place… We have no power over our partner… When we try to exert power like this over them, we are actually disempowering them and ourselves… For we have power over ourselves only and from this place we can impact and influence…
If we force it, we can break it…
If we force our partner into things, by them going along they betray themselves and in so doing harm comes to the relationship in the long run…
We don’t get a gold medal for manipulating, controlling, intimidating, and overpowering our partner… This is a very low-road approach to our interactions and relationship that doesn’t feel good to either partner at the end of the day… This is operating from the lower-self that is symptomatic, riddled with fear, has very limiting believes, and low emotional intelligence and resilience…
The lower-self operates from ego-patterns and defenses. This is just a state. Partners can choose to how they operate. They can choose to operate from a different state and show up with their higher-self instead. They can choose to not show up with low-road tactics, or engage in them if their partner is using them…
Our partner can’t fight on their own. It takes two to fight…
We can choose not to engage in nonsense and approach our partner from a more empowered state. One of neutrality, respect, calm, openness, flexibility, care, compassion, understanding and such… Any interaction or situation can be diffused with these…
When we use these skills and strengths, honor the commitment and love we have for our partner, and treat them with the due respect that their role as our Partner garners, we see our partner step up to what that position entails…
If we treat our partner with less than that, how can we expect them to treat us any differently? We can’t wait for our partner to go first- then everyone is waiting. We have to take the high-road, plant a flag, be the bigger person and go first… Your partner will follow suit, I promise… This is how powerful you are. This is how much you can impact and influence your relationship…
Don’t let the scripts, stories, assumptions and the rest of the noise running in your head, determine the success of your relationship… When you do, your experience gets colored, and you find a way to prove yourself right… This is the confirmation bias we are prone to… This does not serve us in creating our successful relationship. This does serve us in getting divorced if we are ok going down that path…
Don’t get tripped up by letting your ego run the show. Do allow your heart to lead the way. You’ll be surprised at how fast things can turn around…
When you allow yourself this right, and don’t shoot yourself on the foot, you’ll notice that there is a reason for your union. You complement each other with your oppositeness. You create a richer experience, a more fertile ground to practice your humanness… You get to experiment and play at the game of life together. You get to win that!
This approach is how you tap into your inherent relationship synergy, how you evolve, and how you have a huge impact in creating your successful relationship and meaningful life…
Get this FREE Successful Relationship Strategy™ guidelines…
You Can’t Change Your Partner, But Can’t You?
Wishing you all the joy, connection and love today and always…
With Much Love & Light!
PS: Related Articles
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Repeating arguments, how are your relationship dynamics? (pt3)
How your programming plays out in your relationship…
Transform your relationship using your strengths…
Importance of personal and partner character strengths
Live by your character and practical strengths
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Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
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