Your brain, lifestyle and success in life…

by Emma Viglucci

Aside from being submerged in a current project involving databases, queries, scripts, spreadsheets, and data entry tasks I’m of course still doing my usual. This past week found me also playing with a different kind of data. Brain data, one of my favorites as you might know.

I came across the work of Dr. Daniel Amen (psychiatry and brain imaging…) close to two decades ago with tremendous impact in my work and approach to life. It heavily influenced the self-care and wellness angle I integrate into my relational work…

Over time I have recommended one of his books, “Change Your Brain, Change Your Life”, and have taught its concepts to our clients. They are so ingrained and integrated at this point that referencing their origin seems silly.

But nonetheless, I wanted to bring this incredible and powerful resource to you for a more thorough and scientific background on why it’s important to have a healthy lifestyle… Everything we do impacts our brain, which is single handedly our most prized possession!

So, today’s writing is about encouraging you to be super mindful of your lifestyle and what impact it has on your brain. For the health of your brain will ultimately impact your success and quality of life… The health of your brain impacts your overall health, your mood, your memory, your relational abilities, and more. A healthy brain supports your Being:
 Happier
 Healthier
 Wealthier
 Wiser
 More Creative
 More Innovative…

Dr. Amen’s basic premise has always been that we are not stuck with the brain we have, and that we can be proactive in maintaining our brain’s health – actually bringing it back to health… In going back to this source, I came across his more recent plan for Repairing the Brain. It does not have to be all downhill as we grow older! From his imaging work, he can see the before and after of brain health as one takes on a healthier approach to life…

His plan includes 5 Pillars of Healthy Living:
 Faith – spirituality and connection to higher power
 Food – nutrition and clean eating
 Fitness – physical activity and exercise
 Focus – attention, purpose, meaning
 Friends – connection with others and fun

You can learn more on all this here: Repair the Brain with Health Living

What does all this mean to you? How is the health of each of your pillars? Where can you stand to put a little more attention and energy? What do you need to tweak in your lifestyle to strengthen your pillars? Pick one area to play with and take it on!

Go all out and crack this. Work on cleaning or upgrading your current approach – fine tuning your routine (i.e., intermittent fasting), removing junk (i.e., toxins), increasing resources (i.e., nutritious food), keeping it interesting (i.e., different cuisine), and so on.

Think on what kind of life you want to have. Think on how to be proactive about creating the life you want. A lot of times we either create life by default… Or, we dream up the life we want to create, but we take no tangible or consistent steps to creating and sustaining that life…

Therefore, my encouragement and challenge to you today: Make a commitment to proactively creating the life you want, which inherently means having a healthy brain and thereby a healthy lifestyle… Make a move now towards your healthier lifestyle. Have fun with this and enjoy!

Remember to complete the MetroRelationsip™ Assignment below to help you effortlessly implement this, make changes and immediately start creating your Successful Relationship and Meaningful Life…

Share your experience by leaving a comment below!

Happy Repairing!

~ Your MetroRelationship™ Assignment

Choose the area of your life you usually give TLC with the intention of finally cracking the code…

 Faith – spirituality and connection to higher power
 Food – nutrition and clean eating
 Fitness – physical activity and exercise
 Focus – attention, purpose, meaning
 Friends – connection with others and fun

Tackle it with purpose and commitment. Tackle it by looking at it from a different angle than you usually might… Use a different context or lens to design your new approach… Keep reconnecting to it as you implement the changes…

Add this to your Tool Kit…

   Copyright (c) 2018 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.

Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? 

Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: 
Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com. 

Why have a 100-Year Vision Plan…

by Emma Viglucci

I don’t know about you, but my wheels are always turning about how to make a Better Future… I apply this lens to EVERYTHING: relationship with my husband, relationship with my daughter, relationship with family members, relationships with others and in our joint ventures, home and other environments, health, personal development, spirituality, self-care, practice with clients and serving, and humanity as a whole…

This is why I treat my work with clients as Sacred. When they feel better and empowered, collaborate and synergize, they become unstoppable… Once we get over the hump (address what initially brought them to work with us) and clients start getting traction in the direction they desire, it’s interesting how conversations start to change… It’s so exciting and inspiring to see clients Transcend what brought them in, and start creating their much larger life…

We start talking about integrating more Spirituality into their lifestyle. We start talking about opening their homes to less fortunate children. We start talking about their Gift/Contribution to the world and capturing it in a book. We start talking about team development in their business and inspiring leadership.

We start talking about their Social Justice project and how to structure it and launch it. And, the list goes on. It’s so marvelous how “relationship therapy” is a gateway for creating a better future…

Inspired by conversations this week, and lead by my curiosity and approach to life, I’m stepping up my game to further Transcend the everyday… Have you heard of the 100-year Vision Plan?

The idea of this has been such a transformative concept… Regardless of how old you are now reading this, you won’t be alive in 100 years… So, to have a 100-year plan seem ridiculous, right? But, let’s think about what happens when we plan as if we were to be around in 100 years… [Or, how we plan for things in 100 years regardless if we are to be around…]

We’d have to tackle our life as if we were to live that long… The first order of business would be to make sure we are around – to tackle our life to ensure the most longevity… That in and of itself has a ton of implications, doesn’t it?

For starters, we’d make sure we have a super healthy lifestyle, so we don’t break down half way… Which in my book, we should be doing now anyway to ensure an as-long-as-possible, healthy, productive and enjoyable life… I’ll let you in on a little secret, one of my goals is to live to 120! Yeah!

Then, we’d have to make sure we can support ourselves, we’d have to make sure we are still productive contributing members of society, we’d have to make sure we have a rich life to enjoy, what else?

Now, isn’t all this interesting? What is coming up for you? The lifespan has been increasing, and with-it people’s “contributing” years. But, we still hold the mindset of “retirement”, pensions, the golden years, retirement/nursing homes, deteriorating health, decrepit aging, and such… If you were to live 100 more years, how would you approach your life differently?

If you had my goal of living to 120, what would you be doing differently? Would you be closing shop at 65? Who said that the last few decades of our lives need to be spent wasting it away? Most people don’t have amazing lives after “retirement.” They look to retirement and then life is downhill from there… What?! This doesn’t make sense as an approach to life… What about going about our life as if it were a scenic marathon, not a traumatic sprint?

Now, let’s take this a step further. We know we won’t live that long. So, we settle for living well for as long as we can, but with the intention of having impact beyond our years… What would it mean to live our life planning for contributing for another 100 years… Bam! And, that’s the thing… How do we live a super amazing life that has meaning beyond our humanness…

In playing with this concept, I came across this video: The 100 Year Vision.

I know all of this can be a lot to take in, and you might not be ready or interested in it. And that’s ok, we are all on our own specific Journeys. But, regardless of where you are, think about how this concept can enrich your life. If you ponder as much as, how do I live my most healthiest and meaningful life?, then that’s a homerun in my book. That in and of itself is a transformative takeaway… So, start there.

What small change can you start with to start living an even healthier and more meaningful life? This is a tremendously satisfying project, and I wish you much fun and success with it! Enjoy!

Remember to complete the MetroRelationsip™ Assignment below to help you effortlessly implement this, make changes and immediately start creating your Successful Relationship and Meaningful Life…

Share your experience by leaving a comment below! 

Happy Visioning!

~ Your MetroRelationship™ Assignment

Select an area of your life where the minutia and having constant fires to put out just drain you and are a thorn in your back. 

Think about what purpose/need this is fulfilling for you… And, how entertaining this is sabotaging where you want to be…

Identify a more proactive, healthier, and effective way to meet the purpose/need, and make the switch immediately.

Then, turn your full focus to where you want to be… Start by dreaming and feeling good about it…

Transcend the daily for the Vision…

Add this to your Tool Kit…

   Copyright (c) 2018 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.

Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? 

Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: 
Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com. 

Are you a strong partnership?

by Emma Viglucci

What keeps you entertained and engaged in your life? What professional or personal projects are you tackling? Are you excited about these? Are you proud of what you are accomplishing? Are you inspired by what you are involved in? How is your life journey going? How are your personal goals coming along? Are you creating with your Partner?

Creating with our Partner is at the corner stone of our life… This is one of the reasons we couple… How do you create with your Partner? What do you create? Do you have a strong partnership? Do you have systems in place to easily and effortlessly collaborate at the business of life?

It’s interesting how many go through life haphazardly, putting out fires, being stressed out and overwhelmed, getting on each other’s nerves and being resentful… Running your joint life and Creating together doesn’t have to be so. It can actually be seamless, enjoyable, fun, rewarding, and inspiring.

Becoming a strong partnership doesn’t just happen. It requires patience, understanding, acceptance, communication, transparency, open-mindedness, flexibility, compromise, grace, and appreciation for starters.

Becoming a strong partnership means wanting to be a strong couple. Having a clean relationship mindset… Owning ourselves and our power while being mindful, intentional, and cooperative.

It means improving our personal habits, stepping up our game, learning relationship enrichment skills, integrating personal development into our lifestyle, addressing any recurring negative patterns, mutually meeting our needs, subscribing to a relationship nurturing approach, and being collaborative in our everyday.

Becoming a strong partnership means operating as a Team. It means creating a structure in our home and routine that support us and the journey we want to have. It means creating an amazing lifestyle that makes life worth living. It means putting in place the systems to allow us to make that happen. Why struggle and beat our head against the wall. What life hacks do you subscribe to? How do you make your life easier?

It’s time to do these seamlessly consistently:

• Provide healthy and nutritious meals and snacks
• Have a self-care practice built into daily routine
• Glide from one activity to the next
• Address and prevent clutter
• Have quality family and couple time
• Be prepared for activities and for the next day
• Have a connected and efficient bedtime routine with children
• Have a connected and intimate evening routine with partner
• Have a soothing and replenishing personal turndown routine
• Have agreed shared responsibilities
• Have methods for synchronizing, staying current and in the loop, and collaborating
• Have a check-in and staying connected mechanism with partner
• Have approach to connection, intimacy, passion and fun that honors both partners
• Have approach for accomplishing projects and achieving goals and milestones…
• Are cooperatively pursuing your joint life vision…
• You are a role model to other couples and families, and an inspiration to those around you…

If you have a lot of the above in place, good for you! See what else you’d like to make easier and work it.

If you feel overwhelmed by the above, it means your life is probably a bit overwhelming and chaotic and could stand to have some organization and structure. Pick 2 items from the list above that when implemented your life would immediately feel like a different life. These are that powerful.

Keep tackling the list. Automate the workings of your life, and see how much easier and rewarding it becomes!

Remember to complete the MetroRelationsip™ Assignment below to help you effortlessly implement this, make changes and immediately start creating your Successful Relationship and Meaningful Life…

Share your experience by leaving a comment below! 

Happy Automating!

~ Your MetroRelationship™ Assignment

Go through your daily routine in your head and identify the times when you are stressed, annoyed, resentful, overwhelmed. Note, what time of day it is, who is involved, where you are, and what’s involved. Pick the one item that calls to you the most and put a system in place to automate it and take the edge off. Enjoy!

Add this to your Tool Kit…

   Copyright (c) 2018 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.

Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? 

Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: 
Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com. 

Are your tools working for you?

by Emma Viglucci

How do you deal with disruptions? Do they mess you up?

Do you fall in the super organized and plan everything camp? Or, do you fall in the unstructured, take-it-as-it-comes, winging-it camp? As you might have already guessed, I fall more in the super organized and plan everything camp. And, I evangelize this approach in an effort to teach creating life (relationship) by design. I’m a strong proponent of creating systems and structures to support us in everything we do to propel us forward.

Of course there are pros and cons to most things in life. Our job is to decide what works best for us, and to make it work as best as possible.

If we are too organized and structured, a disruption might throw us off. On the other hand, when we plan ahead and have systems in place, disruptions can be handled with grace.

If we are easy going and take life in stride, a disruption can be handled the same. On the other hand, if not anticipated and no plans are in place, disruptions can put us over the edge and create crisis.

This concept applies to relating with our partner as well. I’ve seen clients who wing-it in their relationship and clients who over plan and control everything. In my opinion, both leave a lot to desire and neither is conducive to creating the relationship we want.

When we wing-it, we are not creating a relationship by design. We are going through the motions, reacting, possibly creating drama, and not meeting our partner’s and our own needs…

When we over plan, structure, force, script, and such we miss the boat on Being in our relationship. We instead are doing our relationship but there is no gusto in it. We can’t feel our partner, our needs are not met, we don’t have fun, and the relationship actually feels like work.

I teach living by design and creating systems and structures to support the life-relationship we want. But, then some take this too far and the initial intention gets lost in the process.

What’s the point of forcing dinners, dates, vacations, trips, couple time, etc.? What’s the point of scheduling all this, plus everything else, and then being stressed to make it happen? Same thing goes for communication tools and skills. And, for sexy-time. And, for self-care practices. And, other things that supposed to be good.

We can take a good thing too far. If we feel pressure and stress to keep up with any of these things, then we are over doing it. The good thing is no longer a good thing… When we get here, we have to catch ourselves to make sure we don’t miss the forest for the tree. Systems and structures are supposed to work for us not the other way around!

I have been finding myself teaching this part of the concept more and more recently. That of using our tools and skills well, but not to run them into the ground. They can carry us only so far before they actually become a hindrance. Once it goes this way, it’s time to pat ourselves on the back for having come this far and for learning so much. Then, it’s time to do things differently to get to the next level…

The next level is Mastery. This is where you artfully use your tools, skills, and knowledge, but not with the flavor of doing but with the flavor of Being. This is where showing up with your Being makes all the difference. This is where using all those resources laced with intuition, compassion, and love have the impact they are supposed to. Tools for the sake of tools are a waste. YOU still need to drive them for them to make a difference.

So, take a look at your routines, systems, schedules, TimeMap, and anything else related to how you organize and design your life-relationship. Note if you are too loose or too uptight about how you run your stuff. You might have a combo of both. Decide where more structure is needed and where less will serve you, and your loved ones, best. Take step towards adjusting any imbalance.

Intentionally deciding how you want this to be in your life is the most important piece. Owning how you run your life is what creates the life you want.

Remember to complete the MetroRelationsip™ Assignment below to help you effortlessly implement this, make changes and immediately start creating your Successful Relationship and Meaningful Life…

Share your experience by leaving a comment below! 

Happy Creating!

~ Your MetroRelationship™ Assignment

Design what you want your life to look like daily and weekly. Use a TimeMap approach to capture your vision. Chunk up and assign your time to life categories that are important to you. Each category-time-chunk is then the designated time to do related tasks, activities, plans and such.

This way you can balance how you prioritize things in your life, focus on what is important to you covering all your bases without stressing yourself out. Don’t overthink it, keep it simple and have fun with this!

Add this to your Tool Kit…

   Copyright (c) 2018 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.

Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? 

Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: 
Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.