Developing the masculine and feminine through your relationship…
Do you find that you often butt heads with your partner when dealing with the business of life? Or that you operate as if you are lost at sea without any direction, and you end up wherever the tide takes you? This has to do with not being on the same page, or not having a clear joint life vision and plan. It also has to do with each of your own personal development levels and relationship dynamics. The more pronounced the impasses, powerstruggles, drama, chaos, and lack of forward movement experienced by the partners, the more wounding and developmental delay that might be plaguing the couple…
I have been expressly adding another dimension to our personal growth and healing and relationship dynamics work to better assist couples with their relationship transformation. We’ve been playing with owning more our masculine and feminine characteristics… The interplay in their polarity for our personal wellness and for the success and radiance of our relationship just can’t continue to be ignored (as always, this is regardless of gender).
How the differences between the set of characteristics have been played down can no longer be ignored inside or outside the context of our relationship. Continuing to do so seemingly to create equality among the genders, just continues to reinforce the patriarchy… It does no one any good for the feminine characteristics and energy to continue to be oppressed… For everyone to seem more alike, “equal”, and bonded in our more coveted masculine traits and characteristics…
Just like we polarize in a host of other ways in our relationship validating the opposites attract paradigm, this is another layer that is to be taken more seriously for the vitality and success of our relationship.
For not doing so is a complete disregard for ourselves and the experience with our partner. Disowning major parts of ourselves and lopsiding our relationship energetics makes for unhealthy partners and messy relationship dynamics. And, not conducive for creating our epic love affair with our partner and our best life, our grander human experience…
There are 3 levels of development for each set of characteristics, and both apply to both partners…
~ Dormant – This is when we are not even aware that we have a range of characteristics available to us, and that we might be shut down to part of the range… Or that we are not fully owning our more inherent side of the spectrum of characteristics. We shut down part of ourselves…
~ Distorted – This is when we begin to wake up to other aspects of ourselves, but we are wobbly in their use. This is when we show up with our toxic masculinity and toxic femininity. This is when we act out especially with our more inherent energy or in its defense…
~ Divine – This is when we start to master the balance, integration, and polarization interplay of our characteristics, intentionally drawing from all the benefits of our wholeness… This is when we tap into the sacredness of each of our energies, when we use our energies to their full potential and glory. This is when we tap into our relationship inherent synergy. When we intentionally polarize with our partner to create our spark, passion, and bliss… This is how we create our sacred union, rejoice in oneness…
There is much to be said for owning all of ourselves, all of our tendencies, quirks, aspects, traits, characteristics, energies, and the like. Regardless of what we label things, there is something to be said for fully owning and honoring ourselves… For fully utilizing the avatar we are living our life through…
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Whatever is not really working as you’d like in your life, put it through this lens and see if you get a different awareness as to what needs shifting, realigning, coming online, and so on…
See where you are developmentally. See where you are lopsided. See where you need to focus more attention. See how to embrace and cultivate your inherent side more. See how to support and give to yourself what your inherent energy needs… See how to fully honor all of yourself…
See how to support your partner in doing this for themselves, or just in supporting all parts of them… See how to give your partner’s inherent energy what it needs more.
See how to polarize to invite your partner’s polarity to come out to play…
As you experiment and tend to this, you’ll automatically start creating changes in your programs, patterns, and dynamics. Pay attention to how you are experiencing yourself and your world differently, and how everything and everyone start to respond differently to you… Enjoy!
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Wishing you all the joy, connection and love today and always…
With Much Love & Light!
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Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
