Transform your relationship using your strengths…
Nature doesn’t have to be the only thing that blooms… We are also inclined to bloom if we allow ourselves, and cultivate the characteristics we desire… If we have a desire for a certain character strength or characteristic, we already have it inside ourselves… It’s just lying dormant…
Whatever desire we have, we also the ability to manifest it… Desires are gifts that just need springing. We can spring them by cultivating them… Remember, that what we focus on grows… Transform your relationship using your strengths…
A few clients are coming to mind as I write this, as they have worked on cultivating certain strengths with tremendous success. One in particular, focused on being a planner. She found that not planning ahead created a lot of anxiety for her, misbehaving from her children, and tension with her husband. Their life was limited and stress ridden.
When she started focusing on becoming a planner, she created more flow and ease in her home, the children were no longer so clingy and symptomatic, the evening routines became a lot smoother, she started expanding other areas of her personal life and pursuing different interests.
She established more of a social life alone and with her husband, and traveling a lot more! They are a different family and couple now…
She couldn’t have become a planner if she didn’t have the desire for it and didn’t already possess this within her…
The ability to manifest character strengths is available to all of us…
The thing about this is that we usually settle for who we think we are, which is a very limited version of ourselves consisting primarily of ego patterns, defenses, and bad habits… That is not who we are!
Whatever troubles us, whatever bothers us, whatever we are jealous of in others or even judge, whatever we desire, all have hints of parts of us not fully blossomed yet. They are still just in seed form…
~ Our job is to pay attention to what triggers us, what we crave, what we believe we lack, what we’d like more of, what we admire, and the like for hints of how we might not be fully owning and embracing ourselves. These are signs of a strength, a gift, a calling, buried deep inside that is itching to come out to play…
By paying attention to our inklings and what grabs our attention, we can start recognizing a desire buried within. There is a gift, talent, passion, calling, strength, we have that we don’t realize we do!
~ This might be challenging to do if we are super noise in our life, we are riddled with drama, are hypersensitive and reactive, can’t be alone and in silence, are consistently in the grind and doing mode, have a chaotic and/or stuffed routine, and such. When we are so noisy and operating from defenses and habits, we can’t be still and quiet enough to hear the messages we have inside…
And it’s even more challenging if we doubt that we have treasures inside us, that we are magnificent, and that we are always evolving and becoming better versions of ourselves. For then, we don’t even know to try to make changes to get quiet to start embracing all of ourselves…
It can be simple to get started…
Regardless of our personal state, the state of our relationship, and the state of our life in general, all we have to do is to get in touch with our desire for more… To decide not to settle. To decide to embrace our unfolding, our becoming, our evolution, our expansion…
If this is all we do, we will awaken what is trying to birth through us… Then we can start hearing and feeling the calling, the messages, the nagging from inside… Then we can start connecting with the aspects of ourselves that we haven’t fully own yet… And then we can name what it is we want to cultivate for it is there and ready to emerge… Just like my client the planner, owning just that one characteristic was transformative for her and her family.
Then we cultivate…
Once we name it- we have to feel it, recognize it in ourself, set up situations and activities that call for it, explore it, play with it, experiment using it, and keep practicing it until it gets integrated and more automatic in our way of being and our way of life…
Our relationship is the perfect playground for us to play with strengths, gifts, talents and all the other awesomeness we are trying to own and embrace more…
This is a way to continue to become our best self, our authentic self, more Aligned with our Higher Self- just become more and more who we are and creating our most radiant and successful relationship…
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Play with cultivating anything you blossom- whatever you focus on grows, whatever you nurture flourishes…
Wishing you all the joy, connection and love today and always…
With Much Love & Light!
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Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
