Oftentimes we get so mired in the everyday doing that we forget the everyday Being. We forget to actually show up to our lives, we might bring our bodies, maybe even our minds to a commitment, to an interaction, to a moment. But we hardly bring our heart, our Essence… This is where we are going wrong…
This is what is keeping up spent, unmotivated, fearful, disconnected… This is what is creating the rest of our suffering and turmoil… WE are missing from the equation! Bring presence. Then you can exponentially expand and deepen your connection…
If we are looking for happiness, joy, health, vitality, peace, harmony, connection and love, it is actually quite simple to attain… The way is through our presence…
When we connect with ourselves, with our core, authentic, Higher Self, we are connected to all that is, to the now, to Oneness, to Unity, to Love. We are connected to Unity Consciousness, to Love Consciousness… From this Connection, we just are the highest and best version of ourselves… And so much easier for our partner to feel us and connect with us…
From this expanded connection the universe is the limit…
When we fully embrace who we are in this way, we transcend the petty, the minutia, the fears, the defenses… This is powerful. We are so much bigger and magnificent than what we show up with every day. Our life is so much bigger and important than what we focus on every day…
We are here to have a Human Experience and evolve into who we truly are, NOT to get stuck in our human experience… To get stuck in the ins and outs of our little self, looking at our world through our ego. Interacting with all our defenses, habits and out of fear…
This is why the relationship with our partner is beyond gorgeous, regardless of the state it’s in… Our partner, our relationship, and our life, are a projection of our inner world… When our partner gets on our nerves, hurt us and the like, that is information about what is going on for us inside ourselves irrelevant of our partner… Yeah, a hard truth to embrace.
But this is why our partner is a Gift – they get to show us where we still need to heal, grow, and evolve…
When we are in touch with this, and together play with this, now that is where the depth is in our relationship… Being understood, known, respected, cherished and appreciated at this level is so massive.
When you are playing at the Game of Life from this angle, not just to amass accomplishment and fortune and to check things off your to-do or bucket lists, is when you are truly living your life. This is when you feel Alive. This is the inspiration, the juice, the sparkle. This is who You are…
Showing up to interactions, engagements, projects and even all the mundane with the Essence of who you are, give you a completely different experience…
What does this mean for how to do our lives every day? This means having a rich Self-Love Practice so you Connect with yourself consistently… Then you design how you want your days to go, prioritizing you and your relationship, Being over doing… Then you tackle the rest… And the rest becomes so much easier, smoother, fun and glorious…
APPLICATION: Make a commitment to shift the focus of how you do your life for a richer and more delightful experience…
~ Shift the focus from work and doing to your life and being…
~ Design your day to Align with the shift and embrace a self-love practice
~ Bring your partner into the fold of awareness, and gently and compassionately play at embracing your Higher Selves more and more…
Luxuriate in the expansiveness of this relating…
Wishing you all the joy, connection and love today and always…
With Much Love & Light!
PS: Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?
Copyright (c) 2023 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
What do you think about the concept of Unconditional Love? I believe this is very challenging for people because of the expectations that exist in the relationship. They equate love with the other showing up a certain way…
If my partner checks off these boxes, then I love them… Think about this for a second, how crooked is that… We obviously then don’t necessarily love the person but what they do and how they make us feel… How they meet our needs, take care of us, add to our status, and such… So, we actually love them on paper? It seems that way…
But we know better, don’t we. We just have a philosophical, or practical, depending on how you choose to look at it, issue with the concept of Unconditional Love. Because even though your partner is not perfect, and they might get on your nerves, and maybe are not meeting your needs, you still love them, right?
So then why struggle with the concept of Unconditional Love? Owning this will not make your partner be a worse partner- this is not a get out of jail free card. LOL
What would happen if you embraced the concept of Unconditional Love? If you really approached your partner and your relationship with this lens on and interacted from this perspective as much as possible. If you didn’t focus on your partner’s imperfections. If you didn’t worry about fairness and supposed doubled standards.
If you didn’t get hang up on whether your partner apologized. If you didn’t go into your partner’s circle and told them how to be, feel and do. If you didn’t try to make your partner do things the way you would, or the way you want. If you didn’t have expectations of what you should get out of this relationship. And so on…
~ What if you just loved your partner because they are awesome. ~ What if you just loved your partner because they are on this Journey with you. ~ What if you just loved your partner because they are a fellow Human Being existing in this now and in this relationship with you…
What if you became aware of, if you are not already, to the fact that you are actually an energetic being that appears solid and living in this meat suit because we live in a 3D reality and our experience is limited to what we pick up with our senses…
And, as this energetic being you are actually beyond your mere body, you are actually one with all that is… And so is your partner… AND, as such you are actually ONE…
You are actually part of the whole Universe, you are part of Unity Consciousness- Love Consciousness…
Do you see the implications of this? There is so much here… For now, let’s highlight this, if you are One,
~ When you judge, criticize, scorn, control, reject, or shun your partner, you are doing that to yourself as well…
~ When you don’t like something in your partner, you don’t like that in yourself- might not even be aware you have that…
As soon as you give your partner compassion, acceptance, and freedom- Love, you’ll feel these for yourself…
As soon as you focus on giving yourself compassion, acceptance, and freedom- Love, you’ll feel these from your partner!
When we open ourselves to this inquiry and possibility, and let go of a lower-self experience of lack (we are missing something), attachments (we need certain outcomes), and control (we need to make the things happen) this is when our suffering ends…
This is what the Practice of Letting Go is about… This is about Trusting… About having Faith…
These mindsets, egoic patterns…, just create the struggle we are trying to overcome… These are what hold us back from being able to embrace the Unconditional Love we are capable of and that would make everything so much easier…
~ Lack is driven by believing we are separate and not whole, which leads to sadness, grief, loneliness, aloneness, hopelessness, depression and so on which lead to focusing on fairness and double standards, judging imperfections, self-numbing [flight response…]
~ Attachments are driving by believing we need certainty and certain outcomes which leads to let down, disappointment, resentment, frustration, anger and so on which lead to demanding apologies, owning the other, and getting stuck on expectations [fight response…]
~ Control is driven by believing that we have to make things happen and have to do all the doing which leads to fear, stress, overwhelm, exhaustion, anxiety and so on which lead to over-functioning, micromanaging, doing everything ourselves, not accepting help [freeze response…]
So you see, when we get in our own way with our limited mindset we impact how we feel and experience ourselves, our partner, and the world… Not to mention our nervous system and the rest of our biology and hence our health, and our overall energy and what we are able to manifest…
Addressing these egoic patterns allows us to more easily embrace Unconditional Love and make our relationship, and whole Human Experience, much more satisfying- more radiant, more divine…
Here is to embracing Unconditional Love more this month and going forward…
APPLICATION: Set time aside to contemplate and meditate on the concepts of Unconditional Love and Unity Consciousness…
~ Did you feel peace, joy, love, Oneness?
~ After you quiet yourself down, explore how you might still have limiting mindsets. Observe your lack, attachments and control patterns of thought, feelings and behaviors…
~ Identify which of the three is more prominent for you and decide to gently address these and let them go…
~ Share your discovery and commitment with your partner, with no strings attached…
When we reprogram and release our egoic patterns, it is easier to create / manifest what we desire in our life experience… It is much easier to embrace Unconditional Love and enjoy the Journey…
Wishing you all the joy, connection and love today and always…
With Much Love & Light!
PS: Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?
Copyright (c) 2023 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
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Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT has been in the mental health profession in varying capacities for the past 20+ years. She is the Founder and Director of metrorelationship.com a psychotherapy and coaching practice specializing in working with busy professional and entrepreneurial couples who are struggling getting on the same page and feeling connected. The work helps couples create a radiant and successful relationship and meaningful life by becoming a strong partnership and increasing their connection, intimacy, and fun. Emma is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Relationship Strategy™.
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