It’s interesting that we can be in a relationship, in a marriage, and still feel lonely. Hey, we can be in a room full of people and still feel lonely. This is because the opposite of feeling lonely is feeling connected… You can be surrounded by people or spend all day with your partner and still not feel connected… This is because connection doesn’t just happen through mere physical proximity. Connection happens when we are present and engaged… You can stop feeling disconnected and lonely in your relationship.
~ The key is to fully show up, not just with our bodies but with all of ourselves. With our Best Self, with our Higher Self… For if we show up with an empty shell, there is nobody home for our partner to connect with…
~ And, if we show up with other versions of ourselves, with our victim or lower self, then we are not very attractive to connect with. We are actually repulsive… Our partner is likely to shy away or shut down in the presence of this…
If we are feeling lonely and disconnected, we have to check-in with ourselves and assess how we are showing up…
And please don’t lie to yourself… I see this all the time with our couples… Be honest, are you truly showing up with your best self, accepting, compassionate, and loving, or are you hiding resentment, judgement, and contempt?
But I get that sometimes it’s challenging to be present and available. To be vulnerable. To be curious, understanding and accepting. To give grace. To be forgiving. We might be depleted and not even available to ourselves…
So not feeling lonely and feeling connected has to do with connecting with ourselves first… Then we can turn to connecting with others and having meaningful connections…
In today’s video, I cover Element 4 of the Successful Relationship Strategy™, which is all about increasing connection, intimacy, and fun in your relationship, and I show you how to go about creating connection… Check it out!
PSS: Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?
Copyright (c) 2023 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
If you are like most people, you think that you can think your way out of your problems, situation, and issues… And you are right but not in the way that you imagine… Your circumstance is not a logical puzzle to be resolved… It is actually a creation of your habitual thinking that can change as soon as you change your perspective…
When you change your perspective, your feelings also change. With new feelings you create a different circumstance for yourself… Use the power of your thoughts to change your life…
I know that this is a significant shift in most people’s approach to life. Most are still muscling life to the ground to make things happen. They are grinding away, using old school principles to create the life they want… They are measuring success by old standards, as with the dollar as if it was still based on the gold standard…
But what if success and riches are actually measured differently now? What if they are measured by energetic currency? And, that this currency is what makes our life amazing… That this is where all the abundance is… Peace, harmony, joy, beauty, love, freedom… And, yes, this translates to financial riches as well…
The Key Is What We Focus On…
Remember what we focus on grows… We can get stuck in whatever state of being we are in if we are not mindful and intentional about it:
~ Some are stuck in not feeling well, being ill, and working the system. This person’s mindset, habits, and state of being, their feeling state, is riddled with pessimism, victim mentality, blame, jealousy, and envy. Their negativity bias is strong and they are in survival mode…
~ Others are more positive and empowered, they are accountable and responsible, they take charge of their situation and work hard to create what they desire. They believe in themselves, they are disciplined, and have strong will power. They operate from motivation…
~ Then, we have others who are like the motivated counterparts above but don’t operate from effort and grind. They are much better at self-regulation, they generate energy and wellbeing with ease, they flow and operate from inspiration. They have higher levels of awareness and impact…
Depending on where we are on our journey, we tend to operate more from one or another of these estates- Victim Self, Motivated Self, Inspired Self…
These states are fluid, we are not stuck in any of them per se. We can operate primarily from a motivation state but can get triggered and drop down, or we can access a great feeling state and get inspired and move up…
The more we move up in these states of consciousness, and the more we practice at being in the higher states, the better we feel and the better our life and relationship/s become…
Change Your Relationship and Your Life
To create the changes we want all we have to do is be mindful of what we allow to rent space in our head. Thoughts create feelings. Feelings lead to the habits and actions we take… This is how we create our life…
If we clean up our thinking we generate better feeling states that are more empowering, motivating and inspiring… These lead to better decisions and behaviors…
~ This is how we take better care of ourselves
~ These is how we show up better to our relationship/s
~ This is how we do meaningful work
We can generate better feeling states in other ways as well – movement, exercise, physical intimacy, pursuing our interests and the like, with self-love and self-care practices. These are challenging to do though if we get in our way with our thinking and can’t bring ourselves to do these things you see…
Same was for generating good feelings within ourselves. We can just grab the sense of these feelings that are already inside of us but that we are not attuned to… They are just a part of who we are, just because we are… They are part of the Universal Consciousness, Unity Consciousness, Love Consciousness. But most walk around blind to this truth…
We can easily access good feeling states if we so desire, choose to, and practice tuning into them.
We can easily access better feeling states by letting go of making a case for our limitations, for our circumstances, and for what we believe is possible… When we are open and Align, anything is possible…
Depending on where you are, clean up your thinking to move ever so slightly into the next higher level of consciousness. That is really all it takes. That tiny shift is a shift, and it starts to make the magic happen…
~ If you are in victim mentality – maybe start to see how you contribute to your situation…
~ If you are in the grind – maybe start to see how replenishing yourself makes work play…
~ If you are in inspiration – continue to cultivate this and share it with others…
This is how you create your radiant and successful relationship, and meaningful life…
Wishing you all the joy, connection and love today and always…
With Much Love & Light!
PS: Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?
Copyright (c) 2023 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
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Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT has been in the mental health profession in varying capacities for the past 20+ years. She is the Founder and Director of metrorelationship.com a psychotherapy and coaching practice specializing in working with busy professional and entrepreneurial couples who are struggling getting on the same page and feeling connected. The work helps couples create a radiant and successful relationship and meaningful life by becoming a strong partnership and increasing their connection, intimacy, and fun. Emma is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Relationship Strategy™.
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