METROPOLITAN MARRIAGE & FAMILY THERAPY, PLLC
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Have you had the experience of wanting to change something in your life but seemingly no matter what you try it seems that you just can’t get the results you are looking for? I have seen this with health and wellness habits, productivity and success habits, and I hear this all the time when couples first come to see us for couples therapy about creating changes in their relationship…
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It’s been in the air, that partners, especially women, are really feeling disconnected and unsettled in their relationship. They are getting more and more in touch with feeling like something is missing, that there could be more, that just sitting side by side binge watching Netflix while their partner is also on another device, is just not enough to feel emotionally and relationally satisfied with their partner… This is a wonderful awareness because it can be addressed… As opposed to feeling irritated and aggravated a lot of the time in the presence of their partner. No matter what their partner does, they find fault with it or it doesn’t satisfy… Even their partner’s breathing irks them- literally! Does your partner snore?
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In case I haven’t directly made this point before, I believe that connection is pretty much the magic pill. I know I have also said that about meditation and other mindfulness practices. LOL But these practices are a means to connecting with ourselves, our higher self, and Love Consciousness, Oneness… So, it still boils down to Connection, and our awareness that we are all interconnected… In that Connection we feel the Love, the aliveness, the belonging, the acceptance, the radiance that we are, and so much more…
Sometimes our life feels like smooth sailing, at other times it feels like an uphill battle… Of course, we enjoy the easiness, the flow, the joy. We don’t question it much and wonder what’s working… But when we struggle, it’s not so pleasant. We wonder what the heck is happening and why things are so hard. I hear this all the time from couples that are having a challenging time in their relationship. They say things like, It should not be this hard…
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It’s interesting how the way we are raised has a pretty significant impact on how we turn out as people… There are other factors at play as well of course captured by the big debate on nature vs nurture… Regardless of which side gets more points on that debate, the way we are parented and our relationship with our caregivers during our formative years do play a major role on how we develop and who we become… They inform our programming, our patterns, and even our personality which can all boil down to the habit of being ourselves…
We might feel stuck as in not progressing or going in circles in our relationship or in our life in general. Having repeating patterns, having the same old arguments, issues, or negative situations. Feeling at a loss or at an impasse. Feeling behind our peers or where we think we should be in life. We are not satisfied with the status quo but have no idea how to go about creating the change we desire. We’ve tried different things, but nothing seems to stick… We just can’t get ahead, change things, or make the progress we’d like. We might think there is something wrong with us, or we might think there is something wrong with our partner…
![What to do when you have different sexual appetites… [Video]](https://akiaiw4iby4ubmrqrbvqcomhaystacksoftwarearq.s3.amazonaws.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/24021119/What-to-do-when-you-have-different-sexual-appetites%E2%80%A6-Video-1080x675.png)
It is common for couples to be opposites also in their sexual styles! Like it’s not enough for the partners to be opposite in everything else… As we know opposites attract and this is one of the reasons partners appear to be so different from each other… This is not a bad thing, there are actually a host of benefits in being so different (opposite) from our partner… Though this might make couples feel they are not compatible, compatibility has nothing to do with the things the partners like to do… Real comparability goes way beyond that. Having different interests and liking different things is just something to manage, and this includes different sexual styles…
Some might believe they love unconditionally, because they believe that’s what’s expected and what’s appropriate in love… But upon further inspection it is obvious that their love is conditional… Is there a right way to love? Should we love unconditionally? Or should we, what some might consider, be smart about it and love conditionally?
