Are you finding this time of year challenging as the school year wraps up and as we start transitioning into the Summer months? There is so much that goes into this transition that people are feeling more stretched than usual… And this weekend is also Father’s Day… There is no lack of things to celebrate. This is when it’s important for us to take a step back and assess the quality of our life and relationship. How are we doing, how are we showing up to our relationships, how are we showing up for ourselves, are we creating the life we love?
Busy and transition times give us a clue as to how we are doing… They are great opportunities to take stock and reassess how we do everything- from celebrations, to relaxation, to health and wellness, to love making, and everything in between…
Times of transition are amazing opportunities for us to assess, reset and forge forward in a new way. In June I love to play with 30-Day Challenges to help with this. It’s a wonderful tool to play with deprogramming (deconditioning) and depatterning (undermining our egoic patterns, our defensive patterns) freeing ourselves from the boxes we are used to living and relating in…
Challenges help us embrace new habits, do pattern interruptions, and provide structure that serve as healing and evolutionary mechanisms…
When we do a 30-Day Challenge we embrace a self-discipline that at a deeper level mimics being Fathered… This is a fun and light reparenting tactic that helps us deprogram father wounds…
When we choose a 30-Day Challenge for this purpose, we can consider different things to help us hone into a habit we want to play with in the challenge.
It’s helpful to think about what we would like to depattern– what is the pattern that is most prevalent in your life:
~ Lack is driven by believing we are separate and not whole, which leads to sadness, grief, loneliness, aloneness, hopelessness, depression and so on which lead to focusing on fairness and double standards, judging imperfections, self-numbing [flight response…]
~ Attachments are driving by believing we need certainty and certain outcomes which leads to let down, disappointment, resentment, frustration, anger and so on which lead to demanding apologies, owning the other, and getting stuck on expectations [fight response…]
~ Control is driven by believing that we have to make things happen and have to do all the doing which leads to fear, stress, overwhelm, exhaustion, anxiety and so on which lead to over-functioning, micromanaging, doing everything ourselves, not accepting help [freeze response…]
And, then think about how this pattern might impact things that you are trying to achieve, accomplish or create in your relationship and your life.
You might feel stuck in things like:
~ losing weight or getting fit
~ creating and sustaining connection with your partner or other loved ones
~ moving up in your career
~ growing your business
~ making, saving, growing, or keeping your money
~ creating a satisfying lifestyle
~ implementing a self-care routine
~ synchronized coparenting
~ or anything else in your life
You might experience that no matter what you do, you can’t seem to make any headways. You keep going back to the same old… That’s a sign that conditioning, programming, and patterning are holding you back…
The pattern and topic can inform the habit you choose to use in your Challenge to start dismantling the driving conditioning or programming… But at the end of the day, you can choose any habit or tactic for your Challenge as the challenge itself will work its magic…
Give it shot, you got nothing to lose and much to gain from this simple yet powerful tool. Hope you accept the challenge…
Watch our related videos on our YouTube channel
Get our FREE 1-pg downloadable 30-Day Challenges Ideas List to help decondition and unravel egoic patterns keeping us stuck in our status quo…
Wishing you all the joy, connection and love today and always…
With Much Love & Light!
PS: Related Articles
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Need Fathering in your life?
Use fathering to create the changes you want in your life…
Do less and make more changes with self-fathering…
New habits, routines and motivation
Intentional habits to glide into the New Year with ease
Coping with healthy vs unhealthy habits
The power of having Intentional Habits™
How your self-discipline gives you Freedom…
Uplevel your relationship with summer couple fun
Have a Summer Bucket List!
Summer of self-improvement
Have a shift with Summer Personal Projects™
Make this a Summer of upleveling
Use 30-day challenges to change your patterns…
PSS: Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?
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Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
