Nobody likes to feel disconnected from their partner. Partners might like to have time to themselves and do their own thing. But they like to have that while still feeling connected. Feeling disconnected, not in a good place, not on the same page, not in alignment, not together or not close, intimate and special – doesn’t feel good. Missing love, how is your connection and intimacy?
We’ve already established that we have not only been in a Pandemic but also undergoing, and this is not just during the pandemic, a low desire and lack of intimacy Epidemic…
After the Infatuation and honeymoon period of a relationship, couples then enter a Power Struggle. While in the honeymoon period the partners are all about pleasing and wooing their partner. In the Power Struggle stage, the partners are all about making sure they themselves are pleased, their needs are met, and they get what they want.
As you can imagine as partners are usually opposite in their relationship, their needs are usually also opposite… This leads to a power struggle as to who gets what they need and want… The partners get stuck in trying to meet their opposing needs…
This is exhausting as this is the nature of their dynamics and they keep looping in this never-ending cycle. Unless of course they bring intentionality into their relating…
As if this is not challenging enough, during this time the relationship is usually also a bit more mature where the demands just keep piling up. A home needs tending. Children come along. Jobs become more demanding. Community and other commitments are added to the mix. There is a lot going on.
This state of affairs is so draining and stressful that it takes a toll on the partners’ mood, energy, desire, libido, intimacy, and fun. The couples start to run on empty.
It behooves partners to become more intentional in their relationship and their lives to minimize the impact of stress and demands on their connection and intimacy. They can easily accomplish this through the Relationship Enrichment Lifestyle™.
The key to having a rich, loving, caring, connected and loving relationship is focusing on minimizing the culprits impacting desire and intimacy, and embracing a Relationship Nurturing approach in their relationship.
A Relationship Nurturing approach to your relationship means you prioritize your relationship and your partner. It means you are super intentional at safeguarding and strengthening your bond. And it means you are proactive about caring, connecting, having fun, and being intimate.
We don’t leave feeling good in our relationship and with our partner up to chance!
Safeguarding and Strengthening Your Bond
Regardless of how strong our love is for our partner, the bond between us is still delicate. It is vulnerable, sensitive and susceptible. Our job is to protect this bond at all costs and to foster it if we are to create the relationship we want.
We are to safeguard our bond in our:
1- Thoughts and how we choose to see our partner – minding to keep a Relationship Enrichment Mindset activated to keep our Partner in our highest regard in our mind.
3- Approach to meeting needs – minding sensitivities and triggers and appropriately addressing them to meet needs
4- Balance between togetherness and separateness – minding how we pursue our individuality while remaining a solid unit
5- Choices for doing our lives – minding how we set up our Ideal Day, routines, habits and collaboration systems to fully support each other and our dreams
We are to strengthen our bond by:
- Cherishing our Partner for who they are
- Being present, being vulnerable, and Being with our partner
- Sharing our internal world and our experience
- Holding a safe space for our partner to share their internal world and their experience
- Having dedicated and protected time for our partner
Proactively Cultivating Love
Love doesn’t last if it’s not cultivated… It can actually be eroded by how we tend to do our lives and how we approach our partner and our relationship. It requires mindfulness, intentionality and caring for it to thrive.
A garden gets overrun if it is not tended. A plant dies if it is not watered.
We are to be proactive about caring, connecting, having fun, and being intimate in our relationship:
Caring – Sprinkling TLC, loving gestures, courtesies, little gifts, thoughtfulness and giving love in our partner’s love language.
Enhancing Intimacy – Planning and embracing Sexy Time & 3Gs: Grace-full, Grateful and Generous… Seduce your partner. Be open, explore, expand your repertoire.
Nurturing your relationship is a huge part of creating a radiant and successful relationship. You can do a lot of other work on yourself and your relationship but if you don’t cultivate your love, it gets stagnant, it shrivels and it dies… Make this a top priority in your relationship!
ASSIGNMENT: If you are feeling like you would like to feel and enjoy your Love more, decide if you first need to address the 5 Culprits to Low Desire, and then dive into Nurturing Your Relationship!
- Safeguard & Strengthen Your Bond – Create and protect couple time. Attune to your partner, be present…
- Cultivate Your Love – Whole heartedly embrace one of these at a time: Caring, Connecting, Having Fun, Enhancing Intimacy. Play full out!
As with anything, when you bring consciousness, focus and attention to something, Awesomeness happens. I wish this for you in your life and your relationship.
Wishing you much joy, connection and love today and always…
With Much Love & Light!
Copyright (c) 2021 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
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Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com