Happy August! Hope you are having fun and enjoying everything summer has to offer. I’m delightfully balancing work-play and play-play. Isn’t it awesome when you work but feels like you are not working…? I’ve been having this feeling more and more, where I have to check to see “how much work” I did. LOL A world-class problem for sure!
As usual, I’m playing with my themes, projects, and Transcendental Mindset™. I so enjoy this part of my life as it totally influences everything else. One of the latest kicks is “Purpose”. I’ve realized my Purpose, have owned it, and have been playing with it for a very long time now. But, I’m having an interesting experience with, not so much as to what it is for me and what to do with it, but as a concept.
In my ongoing quest for creating well-being for myself and assisting those around me and my clients, the concept of Purpose keeps showing up no matter what angle I take in my research. Very interesting. I’ve been writing that value-based pleasures (related to purpose!) are the key to well-being… I find this to be so true as I observe loved ones, those in my different networks, clients and humanity at large.
I find that those just doing the daily grind and who can barely get their head above water are the ones that are the least satisfied and well. Those that seek fun and pleasure but are thrill seekers and superficially entertained are second. And, those that have Purpose and embrace it well are healthy, happy, peaceful, abundant – Well.
In my pursuit to be a good mother and promote Wellness in my family, I’m always searching what to role model, and how to teach, guide, inspire and such. I know me being me and doing my own life well is a great role model in and of itself.
But parenting is a full contact sport, and I want to proactively parent our daughter. What I’ve come across is so rewarding! It takes parenting to the next level intoxicatingly connecting my themes, interests, pursuits and the like. Bam!
So, let’s take a look at one of the books I’m currently reading:
This book is written for adolescents and those supporting adolescents. It identifies the Essence of adolescence and how the adolescent mind’s focus is on novelty-seeking, social engagement, increased emotional intensity and creative exploration. It encourages engaging these aspects proactively to prevent the usual teenage approach to these to their detriment.
Seigel further makes the marvelous correlation that if adults were to embrace these qualities ongoingly themselves that they would experience a more satisfying life… The Essence and wonderful opportunities this state of being brings get lost as adults get sucked into the responsibilities of life.
When we are not properly stimulated or engaged, whether we are adolescents or mature adults, we create a dissatisfying life. This is why Purpose is so important!
Additional play with the concept of Purpose let me to this delicious exercise – The Purpose Challenge… Whether you know your Purpose or are still wondering, this exercise is so fun and helps you focus your attention in your life…
Sort the statements below into these three categories, using the exact number of statements noted for each category:
“Exactly Like Me” (3 statements)
“Not At All Like Me” (3 statements)
“Neither Like Me or Not Like Me” (remaining 7 statements)
Promoting my political beliefs is very important to me.
Volunteering is very important to me.
Finding a career that is consistent with my values and beliefs is very important to me.
Being there for my friends is very important to me.
Pursuing a calling, rather than just a job is very important to me.
Serving my country is very important to me.
Helping others is very important to me.
Serving my family is very important to me.
Supporting social issues is very important to me.
Expressing myself through my artwork (ex. music, painting, etc.) is very important to me.
Living life according to my religious beliefs is very important to me.
Being a spiritual person is very important to me.
Being able to support a family of my own in the future is very important to me.
Now, list them in this order:
Not At All Like Me
Neither Like Me or Not Like Me
Exactly Like Me
The last three is where you’d want to place your focus and resources. This is your Purpose, you might want to name it. All the other items sound pretty wonderful also, but if we tackle a lot of them without focusing on what is really important to us our efforts get diluted, our impact is minimized, and our satisfaction and well-being quotient take a hit…
This is the way to live a meaningful, satisfying, and rewarding life – a successful life, an exceptional life, a well lived life, a Well-Being life… Play along and see what you find out. Play along and keep streamlining your life. Play along and focus on being stimulated and engaged in ways that are in Alignment with your Purpose… Now we are talking, embrace this and enjoy!
Remember to complete the MetroRelationsip™ Assignment below to help you effortlessly implement this, make changes and immediately start creating your Successful Relationship and Meaningful Life…
Share your experience by leaving a comment below!
Happy Purposing!
~ Your MetroRelationship™ Assignment
Look at how you use your time and determine how rewarding and enriching those experiences are. Be brutally honest, that’s the only way we can create the change we desire…
Run your activities through your Purpose lens to see if they are in alignment:
If they are not, dump them or work towards dumping them…
If they are, but somehow they are still not rewarding determine what is getting in the way and take action to remedy it.
Add this to your Tool Kit…
Copyright (c) 2018 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
Happy Friday! Feeling frisky yet? Fridays are powerful, they are the gateway to another dimension. They invite us to leave behind the realm of responsibility, to-dos, and commitments, and to enter the realm of Play.
I love it when people share about their 4-day-work-weeks, dress-down-Fridays, team-Friday-happy-hours, weekend trips, and such. And, what better time to fully embrace the concept of Frisky-Friday™ than during the summer months when the sunshine just beckons us to play!
Even though most people have their version of Frisky-Friday and how they enjoy their weekends, I notice that they don’t fully enter this other dimension. They linger somewhere in limbo, a world of carried-over chores, noise in their head, and spending time engaged in “commitments” or “making fun happen”… All of this is a lot of doing, which actually ends up eluding the benefit of Frisky-Friday’s Dimension…
Frisky Friday Meaning
To continue with our current ongoing theme of “getting the most of summer”, of having a Meaningful Summer™, it is important to take full advantage of our weekends. Weekends are not to be squandered. Weekends are to be milked for their inherent benefit, that of transcending the usual, Being… The meaning of Frisky-Friday is about embracing the seduction of pleasure and fun to engender well-being.
Our brain is hardwired to seek out pleasure, it is a network of “pleasure pathways” and “pleasure centers”. When these are stimulated by activities we consider pleasurable (soothing scents, enticing aromas, wonderful touch, gorgeous sites), they release brain chemicals that are associated with feeling good.
What is really amazing about this concept is that aside from the obvious benefit of feeling good, when these centers are activated they are an antidote to stress and its harmful impact.
The stress and pleasure centers of the brain are mutually exclusive, they cannot be triggered simultaneously. When in a pleasure state, we cannot also be in a stressful state therefore foregoing any harmful effects. This is the benefit of properly participating in our weekends, bypassing the impact of stress for pleasure – this is the formula for well-being!
But, does this mean we are slaves to pleasure-seeking, and potentially risky or what some might even call immoral behavior, with the host of related negative consequences? No, because pleasure is not just associated with the senses or what we traditionally think of when we consider pleasure and fun… There are all sorts of pleasure and fun to be had!
Which brings me to Values-Based Pleasure… This is pleasure associated with a sense of higher purpose that is the Key to Well-Being… The Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley focuses on research to this end, and provides a wealth of information and resources for the pursuit of well-being and making the world a better place.
They have identified 10 related building blocks, virtues, that when embraced rewire our brain, marinate our mind with positive cocktails, and change our life experience…
So, if you haven’t come up with your Summer Personal Project™ yet, you can use these Virtues as inspiration… Which virtue do you want to explore, expand and embrace more? Pick one and create a project for it, for example:
Develop a community service project on a cause dear to your heart
Indulge in a literary, conceptual or industry body of work
Expand your emotional range, language, expression
Research ethnic, other minority, or needs groups and how to support them
Clean your thinking, focus on the positive, share appreciations
Implement a gratefulness and mindfulness practice
Join a new group that shares a common interest
There are five weeks left to the summer season, and if your children go back to school early then you have even less weeks. If you’re still scratching your head asking yourself the meaning of Frisky Friday, it means to make the most of your time off and (currently) what’s left of summer, for the best summer yet!
Remember to complete the MetroRelationsip™ Assignment below to help you effortlessly implement this, make changes and immediately start creating your Successful Relationship and Meaningful Life…
Share your experience by leaving a comment below!
Happy Pleasuring!
~ Your MetroRelationship™ Assignment
Let the concept of Values-Based Pleasures seduce you this summer.
Maybe you want to indulge in exploring Virtues – their meaning, application, implementation, impact. Maybe you want to play at incorporating them into different aspects of your life – incorporating them into your mission, relationship, parenting, service, team building, book, any way you want!
Copyright (c) 2018 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
Don’t you just love Summer?! What do you love about it? I love the weather, of course, the change in routine, the more leisure pace, the focus on fun, the wardrove, the aliveness in nature, and I can keep going on. But, most importantly what I love about Summer is that it’s conducive to Dreaming… Summer is inspiring and motivating. It jump-starts the creative juices and energy flow. It resets us, if we allow it.
Usually by the time Summer rolls around we are tired again, cluttered again, having let go of our wellness and self-care practice again, putting out fires as opposed to working from inspiration, again. And, so on… Right?
This is why I like Summer Personal Projects™. Regardless of their nature, I find these super productive in different ways than the usual endeavors. I find this is time for personal development, relationship/family nurturing, home improvement, life-style enrichment, purpose and meaning exploration, and leading-edge thinking…
I find this time super fun. This is when we make major shifts in our family. This is when we set up for a successful rest of the year and beyond.
So, this leads me to share about my latest intrigue, the concept of Minimalism… I have to admit, I’m a complete novice compared to those that have fully embraced this concept. Which makes it perfect as a personal project. Even though I usually write about streamlining routines, decluttering, letting go of commitments, clearing calendars, and the like, I’m embracing this concept to a whole new level! Yay!
Now, this is a personal challenge as I like to keep, track, record, document, and be prepared for anything… I overpack. I have several file cabinets in my office. I have back-up-systems for my back-up-systems. Our attic has “things we can still use.”
Until very recently I had every email I ever wrote and calendar event I ever scheduled, including all of my team members’ over time! Colleagues connect with me for documentation from almost 20 years ago… And, I have it! LOL
I have systems for keeping this tamed, organized, automated, and such. It has worked and served its purpose all this time. But now, I’m finding the need to further clear, let go, untether, minimize… It’s a very interesting experience. It’s a very interesting feeling, of not caring to hang on…
The Minimalism concept promotes letting go of stuff, to be able to add. The point is to let go of things that are unnecessary, superfluous, redundant, undermining, energy sucking. This creates space for things that are more value driving, meaningful, and life-enriching. When our life is full of junk, we have a junky life… When our life is full of meaning stuff, we have a meaningful life…
Embracing this concept is one of my current Summer Personal Projects™ that I’m sure will take a while to integrate more fully, but I’m up for the challenge and the fun to be had!
What is your focus during the Summer, aside from entertaining the kids off from school and going on family vacation? How do you milk your Summer time? How do you not miss out on the gems of Summer? Which of the above areas of Summer Personal Projects™ resonated for you? Are you tackling any? Which would you tackle? Which would inspire, reset, shift you…?
Aside from the inspiration to share about this, I also felt compelled to see what others might be doing on this topic. I came across this invigorating compilation: The Power of 30-Day Challenges. What a wonderful way to jump start Personal Projects!
What do you say, will you join me in having a more Meaningful Summer™? What will it be, a project of your own creation or following one of the 30-day challenges? Pick something that feels exciting to you to take on. It doesn’t matter what it is, the size, or the length. What matters is that you are enriching your experience through this focus, and that’s where the juice is…
Remember to complete the MetroRelationsip™ Assignment below to help you effortlessly implement this, make changes and immediately start creating your Successful Relationship and Meaningful Life…
Share your experience by leaving a comment below!
Happy Shifting!
~ Your MetroRelationship™ Assignment
Summer Time is just great to do our life differently, and to create momentum to shift as we desire…
What say you about taking on a Summer Personal Project™?
Make it fun, exciting, intriguing, outside your comfort zone, growth inducing and motivating!
Let this reset, rejuice and inspire you.
Enjoy!
Add this to your Tool Kit…
Copyright (c) 2018 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
Back from our major trip, a lot of driving, and much sightseeing. The girls trip was conceived and designed by our daughter, Vanessa, with the goal of seeing major cities along the way. Our excursion took us down the East Coast to Jacksonville, FL, across to New Orleans, LA, up to Cleveland, OH, and back across to NJ.
With a few one-nighters along the way, a multiple-day stay in New Orleans, and the 4th of July in Nashville, we did 3,400 miles through 15 states and 13 cities. Woohoo! I feel very accomplished after this. LOL
The trip in itself wasn’t extremely long, but because of the driving exertion, suspension from the everyday, and hypnotic roads, I feel I’ve been away a very long time… It was quite an experience, lending itself to new perspectives, renewed energy and continued ZenBrain… One of many fun spots included visiting the Audubon Park in New Orleans. What a magical and inspiring spot…
I’m so grateful to find places like this on my Journey, whether through a road trip or around the corner. These are the types of places that suspend noise, judgement, resentment, shaming, and the like. These are the types of places that assist in our Reprogramming…
You might be aware that we go through life with our usual view of the world, our mindset and our scripts. These narratives and believes when played over and over continue the running of our programming. This is not a bad thing if we intentionally create positive narratives that serve us…
The problem is that our narratives are usually colored and influenced by well-meaning others operating from a less than inspired, guided and authentic place themselves… Narratives created by default and operating never having been cleaned up, or without ongoing tending, just perpetuate, actually worsen, our dissatisfying status quo.
They provide convoluted and defensive logic, negative reinforcements, and a downright sabotaging approach to life…
For us to have satisfying and successful relationships and a rewarding and meaningful life, we have to tend to our narrative. We have to clean up our view of the world, our beliefs, our meaning systems, our scripts, and our thought patterns. Leaving this untamed, dark, and dirty (like I like to say) is a dangerous way to live our life. We are pretty much signing off on having an unsatisfying experience at the end of the day…
This is why I so love Self-care that includes Mindfulness Practices because this is exactly what they provide. They provide a respite from the noise, the usual chaotic, negative and defensive thinking, and undermining approach. They provide a way to bypass the “programming” allowing us to connect with our core, authenticity, and Light.
When we do this frequently we reprogram ourselves… and start operating from a cleaner, more authentic and inspired place more consistently. This is what I’ve been calling ZenBrain. The experience of a sustained and ongoing peaceful and authentic feeling is just truly Divine. I wish this for you.
I’m super excited that every week more clients share they are incorporating a Mindfulness Practice into their routine. The progress and changes in their Journey is noticeably different once they do this… It is truly amazing to witness…
The Mindfulness Practice can include anything that resonates for us, like visiting and experiencing gorgeous and peaceful places I described above, meditating daily, gratitude journaling, coloring mandalas, anything that is hypnotic, quieting, and allows you to connect with your Higher Self, the core of you… From this place there is no funky program running the show!
It’s up to you how your relationships feel and what your life looks like every day. It’s up to you to shed the programming and live your life from your authentic Self, from Light and Love. And what a life this would be!
Remember to complete the MetroRelationsip™ Assignment below to help you effortlessly implement this, make changes and immediately start creating your Successful Relationship and Meaningful Life…
Share your experience by leaving a comment below!
Happy Reprogramming!
~ Your MetroRelationship™ Assignment
It is imperative that you integrate a Mindfulness Practice into your routine!
Assess your Mindfulness Quotient and then play with the options below to become more Mindful…
Do Guided Mindfulness Meditation, Transcendental Meditation
Listen to binaural beats frequencies, sounds of nature, Tibetan singing bowls, Tibetan flute
Keep journal of gratitude, positive aspects, letting go
Color Mandalas / Mindfulness Drawings
Intentionally knit, drive, walk, swim, dance, hike, and such
Be in nature
Do deep muscle relaxation, breathing exercises, body scans
Copyright (c) 2018 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
At the publishing of this, I’m on a road trip cross country. Yay!! Super grateful at having the freedom to pretty much pick up and go. Little ahead planning time went into making this happen. It’s so satisfying to enjoy such liberties and create experiences to treasure. This is the result of living a life by Design…
It is not always easy to create the life we want, to design our own life, as we have a tendency to get in our own way… We have tendency to react and live our life by default… We might have limiting beliefs that hold us back from Being our Authentic Self. These block our access to our internal guidance system, our intuition, our gifts, our Awesomeness.
Being disconnected from our Self, is painful… This is the source of our angst in life… When we are disconnected from our Self, we go through life just banging around and suffering in one way or another…
Limiting beliefs flow from three fundamental human ego driven core belief systems. Somewhere along the way, usually very early on in our childhood through interactions with our care-takers, we internalized one or more of these:
Powerless
Unlovable
Unworthy
If you were to process any situation in your life, any pain you are currently undergoing, you will find at least one of these as the underlying feeling. These are accompanied by related distorted thoughts about yourself and the world that perpetuate the stuck situation and resulting pain.
When we insist on subscribing to these, either by shear stubbornness or just plain ignorance, we stay disconnected from our Self, our internal resources, and therefore unable to effect changes in our life. It becomes impossible to design and create the life we desire.
We have a choice to make. Do we want to live our fullest life? Do we want to live our most enjoyable and rewarding life? Do we want to have an amazing Journey? Do we want to live our life by Design? If so, we consistently focus in connecting to our Self. When we are Connected to our Self, we Know we are powerful, lovable and worthy… This is the antidote!!! It’s that’s simple…
We can choose to be Connected. We can choose to Be our best Self. We can choose to have our best Life. We have so much freedom that we can even choose bondage… Living feeling powerless, unlovable, and/or unworthy and not to resolving this is to choose to live in bondage… The choice is ours. What we create is a result of our choices.
So, our job to remove obstacles that prevent us from connecting to our Self.
Our job is to mind our thoughts and clean up any that lead to bad feelings…
Our job is to mind how we feel and subscribe to feel-good activities that make our heart sing…
Our job is to mind what we do and find the positive in all…
And, our job is to focus on connecting to our Self with Mindfulness Practices… This is the shortcut… You can immediately have full access to your Self and the resources to design and create the life you desire. The life you came to live in this life experience.
You can live your life by Design, start by choosing to do so…
Remember to complete the MetroRelationsip™ Assignment below to help you effortlessly implement this, make changes and immediately start creating your Successful Relationship and Meaningful Life…
Share your experience by leaving a comment below!
Happy Choosing!
~ Your MetroRelationship™ Assignment
Make a list of thoughts you recognize as limiting beliefs… Or, that you are aware have held you back from the life you desire…
Go through each and debunk them! Feel the release of their hold on you…
Add this to your Tool Kit…
Copyright (c) 2018 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
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Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT has been in the mental health profession in varying capacities for the past 20+ years. She is the Founder and Director of metrorelationship.com a psychotherapy and coaching practice specializing in working with busy professional and entrepreneurial couples who are struggling getting on the same page and feeling connected. The work helps couples create a radiant and successful relationship and meaningful life by becoming a strong partnership and increasing their connection, intimacy, and fun. Emma is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Relationship Strategy™.
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