When our relationship is not perfect or when we struggle in our relationship, we might have the mindset that – marriage is hard, being in a relationship is a lot of work, and other such nonsense…
I get it that sometimes our relationship can be really frustrating and that we might feel like we spin our wheels and can’t make the changes we desire. I get it because I’ve been there, and because I see this with the many clients we’ve served over the years.
But because we are feeling frustrated, and we might be feeling stuck our relationship and status don’t warrant such hard assessments and labels. This pejorative view further influences how we view and approach our relationship and our partner. This is the filter that affects everything else from our communication to our collaboration…
Then we enter into additional disagreements, conflict and disconnect where it might feel impossible to create change in our relationship and to create the relationship we desire- but it is not.
The 5 Elements of our Successful Relationship Strategy™ cover the targeted areas to focus on with your partner to seamlessly create a transformation in your relationship. When we intentionally focus on showing up differently, improving our skills, using better tools, changing our patterns and investing in our relationship in these areas- there is no way not to create change in our relationship…
Element1 – Context & Mindset: Empower Yourself– this has to do with all things of the mind. Including upleveling mindset, changing thought patterns, addressing limiting believes, reprogramming negativity bias, and more…
>> So you stop feeling stuck and break the impasse…
~ Partnership Mindset – This is where we embrace a allies vs enemies mindset…
~ Effective Boundaries – This is where we fully own ourselves vs owning our partner…
Element2 – Communication & Alignment: Improve Understanding– this has to do with all things regarding communication. Including having proper conversations, addressing concerns and issues, resolving conflict, repairing, apologizing and more…
>>So you easily get on the same page and understand each other better…
~ Simple Powerful Skills – This is where we improve our communication tools and skills…
~ Speak for Yourself – This is where we get our partner to understand us…
Element3 – Clarity & Dynamics: Change Patterns– this has to do with all things involving emotional patterns and programs. Including addressing our relationship loop, resolving having the same old fight, stopping the power struggle, increasing self-regulation and resilience, and more…
>> So you understand why you have the same old issues creeping up and change the patterns
~ Meet Your Needs – This is where you learn how to meet and get your needs met…
~ Give Something Different – This is where you optimize how you meet your partner’s needs…
Element4 – Connection & Intimacy: Deepen Connection– this has to do with all things on connection and intimacy. Including how to create, sustain and deepen connection, how to increase and expand intimacy, how to enrich exchanges and have meaningful interactions, and more…
>> So reignite your love, deepen your connection, and increase your intimacy
~ Connection Habits – This where you automate improving your connection…
~ Really Date Your Partner – This is where you bring the passion back…
Element5 – Collaboration & Partnership: Become a Team– this has to do with all things partnership and working better together. Including how to have a life vision and set achievable goals, create a smooth-running household, share responsibility, enjoy coparenting, and more…
>> So you create a strong partnership and a harmonious, joyful and loving home and beautiful life
~ Working Life Vision – This is where you align and create a north star for your life…
~ Divide and Conquer Approach – This is where you have you own and each other’s back…
You CAN create a successful relationship and meaningful life, just be intentional about it!
PSS: Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?
Copyright (c) 2023 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
What are we to do when we feel we tried it all to create change in our relationship, but nothing is working? I wager that there is actually a ton more that you can still do, without much effort…
I know that when we are frustrated and tired of the same arguments and conflicts that we are likely to feel hopeless and like giving up. It seems that everything we tried hasn’t worked and therefore like there is nothing left to do… But I promise that is just not the case…
It usually feels like there is nothing else we can do because we keep looking at our situation with the same lens on and the same filters. Which usually flow from an ego pattern and are negative. How are you supposed to see possibilities by looking at things in the same old way, and a negative way at that?
The way out of this conundrum is to realize how much power we actually have… We have tremendous power to impact and influence our partner and our relationship… Both positively and negatively…
But we are intentional about how we yield this power both partners can stand to reap amazing benefits.
This Month’s Theme is IMPACT, helping partners take their power back, fully own, and properly yield it.
If we want to create change in our relationship and in our life, it is time we take charge of creating what we desire. And we do it by fully owning our impact…
In today’s video I cover, how to: ~ Mind your Effect ~ Own your Shape ~ Optimize your Influence
So you have a positive impact on your relationship to create the relationship and life you want…
PSS: Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?
Copyright (c) 2023 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
Who says being in a committed relationship is hard? Though relationships can be challenging they don’t have to be if we are intentional about how we go about creating our successful relationship.
There are some key ingredients that we need to bring to our relationship for it to be gratifying and successful.
Research shows that successful couples demonstrate some key ingredients that we’d be remiss not to emulate. And, according to John Gottman, renowned relationship researcher, the opposite is also true. There are key characteristics that when found in a relationship are strong predictors of break-up or divorce.
Committed relationships, marriage, are special, delicate, and very important to our overall wellbeing. They are the pillar of our society as they stabilize the family unit, and are the strongest influence on our children.
Embracing a Relationship Enrichment Lifestyle is an easy way to invest in our relationship without being put out or getting stressed out about it. Showing our partner love and care shouldn’t feel like a chore. When we go about it the right way, it is actually a pleasure…
In this episode I interview a longtime friend and colleague, Carole Cullen who is also a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. Together we geek out about a few secret ingredients that make for a successful relationship.
We talk about 4 key ingredients: 1~ Emotional Intimacy 2~ Communication 3~ Quality Time 4~ Shared Goals & Values
I love the conversation with Carole about the ingredients for a Successful Relationship. For more on them check out the Elements of our Successful Relationship Strategy™. I’m so pleased with having had her as our first guest.
PSS: Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?
Copyright (c) 2023 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
When we cultivate a letting go practice, we proactively embrace the art of allowing… Huh? Does this sound like a foreign language to you? It did to me when I first started my self-love (spiritual) practice!
There is a whole other lingo that comes along as our self-care and self-love practice evolves… Letting go in relationships doesn’t have to do with just forgetting things and letting others step on us… Having a letting go practice is a whole art onto itself. It has to do with stopping the control and resistance and allowing our higher-self, the universe, to have our back…
Depending on where we are in our Journey, we can learn further Letting Go in Relationships for a more magical relationship and life experience…
~ If you are not very spiritual, or have a very minimalistic or non-existent self-care practice, then all of this might sound foreign and airy-fairy to you. I promise, that being open to and entertaining these concepts and practices more are literally relationship and life transformative…
~ If you are more middle of the road, this is a wonderful place to be as you have experienced the power and magnificence unleashed by being in this open and allowing state, and are still hungry for what else is available…
~ If you are further along in your Journey, you Know and live more in a Unity Consciousness state where allowing comes now more naturally to you and you effortlessly manifest a magical relationship/s and life…
With each of these levels there are more or less trauma, wounds, defenses/patterns, darkness/shadows (unseen parts of ourselves), limiting beliefs, and such still stuck in your body and psyche.
The more we’ve done our work, the cleaner or freer we become of these, and the more we become our Authentic Self- we shift from our Lower-Self to our Higher-Self…
The thing here is that we don’t want to make doing our work, another addiction, another habit, another pattern, another way of controlling, being rigid, and staying contracted…
I’ve had clients that managed to weaponize the tools and skills they learned in session! They would hold this very high standard for using them perfectly and a certain way, and blow a gasket when imperfection inevitably showed up… Heart-centeredness, compassion, connection, and collaboration went completely out the window…
When partners take responsibility for their own Journey, and stop making their partner wrong, victimizing themselves, and making a case for their limitations, they are then able to fully reside in their power. They can finally invite their partner into a gorgeous new dance…
Their mere shifting the focus from their partner to themselves, and how they can show up differently makes all the difference! This shift is possible when the partners start connecting to themselves more… This can be done with a rich self-love practice that includes proper self-care and mindfulness practices.
Partners focusing on their inner-world and connecting with themselves, helps them address their traumas, release their patterns, bring their shadows to light reprogramming themselves– literally rewiring and reconstituting themselves… They do all the healing and all the transcending…
These practices help Letting Go of the tightness, the contraction the rigidity, the control, the blame, the projections, the drama and all the crazy… Allowing for radiance and awesomeness to be a more prevalent experience…
Depending on where you are in your Journey, your letting go in relationships practice might look anything from:
Cleaning and decluttering your home
Clearing your calendar and lessening your workload
Softening your body and your language
Reauthoring scripts and upgrading belief systems
Accepting or making heart-felt and genuine apologies
Releasing repressed feelings and energies
To letting go of plans and strategies and operating from Knowing and the Now…
Embracing a Letting Go in relationships allows us to create, manifest, the relationship and life we desire…
APPLICATION: Take note of where you have excess, tight control, holding grudges and resentments…
~ Create a quiet moment to go within, sit comfortably, take a few deep breaths, relax your body ~ Tune into your body and ask it where is it holding any suffering or pain… ~ Ask that body part and the suffering/pain if it has a message for you, what does it want you to know, what does it need, what would it like… ~ Thank your body for all it does and the pain for alerting you of what you need… ~ Translate the message into an action- e.i., do a 30-day challenge or a 90-day commitment/declaration, declutter your home, open a savings account for a special project or goal, give an apology, release a behavior, etc.
Embrace a Letting Go practice that honors all of you and creates more space and lightness…
Allow radiance in your relationship and your life…
Wishing you all the joy, connection and love today and always…
With Much Love & Light!
PS: Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?
Copyright (c) 2022 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
We all have our holidays traditions, but are yours giving you joy and filling your heart? Following holiday traditions doesn’t mean driving ourselves into the ground with so many to-dos just to check off the boxes of all the things that should get done during the holiday season. I think it’s time to rethink all the extra things we do just for the sake of doing them… Uplevel your holidays with enriching traditions.
But can we even tell the difference between just holidays to-dos and meaningful traditions we value?
If the task or plan feels heavy, burdensome, tedious, or overwhelming, that’s a pretty good sign that it no longer resonates with you, or possibly never did. It can also mean you might be going about it an outdated way, or that there are wounds and patterns that are getting triggered…
Traditions and rituals promote the identity of the couple and the family and serve to transfer values and meaning to the next generation.
If your holidays typically leave you feeling spent, triggered and all out of sorts, that’s a good indication that the way you go about the holidays is not serving you.
Here are some examples of thing I’ve come across that you might relate to:
Spending hours hunting deals on Black Friday and Cyber Monday and thereafter
Buying things just because they are a good deal
Getting distracted or triggered by all the hoopla of the sales and deals
Going beyond means to buy gifts and putting spending on credit cards that already carry balances
Going to a multitude of parties, outings, and other gatherings spreading ourselves thin
Overindulging in food and drink and other substances
Letting go of self-care and mindfulness practices because the daily routine changed
Decorating and gifting with candy and other overly processed consumables
Doing holiday cards, albums, calendars, mugs, pillows, and the like with photos of the children
Giving chotskies for the sake of giving something
Participating in multiple drives and volunteer opportunities
Cooking and baking, or catering, as if for an army and having most of it go to waste
Staying up till hours of the night cooking or wrapping presents
Having the holidays revolve around gift giving
Having celebrations revolve around alcohol/substances consumption and monitoring
Having the ritual of going back to the stores to do returns the day after Christmas
The theme here is in overdoing, overindulging, and overall excess- all usually at our, others, and the planet’s expense in one form or another…
I challenge you to review all your holiday to-dos, traditions, and rituals for what is enriching, meaningful and joyful about them. How are they encouraging and promoting your values? And, to identify if they are just a bunch of checkmarks on your list or excessive.
Decide now how you’d like the rest of the holiday season to go. What do you need to tweak in your approach to have truly replenishing and rejoicing holidays.
APPLICATION: Invite your partner and family members to do a Holidays Review…
~ Review your to-dos, traditions and rituals for their tediousness and heaviness or enrichment and joyfulness quotient ~ Identify if your approach is capturing and reflecting your true values (not what you value because of a pattern or defense mechanism and as a form of compensation…) ~ Decide what you will no longer do and take an action toward eliminating that as necessary ~ Decide what might be missing to add spark, meaning and joy and take an action toward integrating more richness flowing from your values ~ You’ll know you are on the right track as you feel delighted and joyful as you make progress towards designing and planning your holiday celebrations
Let the focus these holidays be on genuine and generous giving, not on checkmark giving…
Let the season be truly magical by entwining the essence of the holidays with the essence of you and yours.
Enjoy (be) the holidays, don’t do the holidays…
Wishing you all the joy, connection and love today and always…
With Much Love & Light!
PS: Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?
Copyright (c) 2022 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
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Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT has been in the mental health profession in varying capacities for the past 20+ years. She is the Founder and Director of metrorelationship.com a psychotherapy and coaching practice specializing in working with busy professional and entrepreneurial couples who are struggling getting on the same page and feeling connected. The work helps couples create a radiant and successful relationship and meaningful life by becoming a strong partnership and increasing their connection, intimacy, and fun. Emma is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Relationship Strategy™.
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