You can prevent conflicts and triggers this holiday season [VIDEO]

by Emma Viglucci

Yes, we want beautiful and magical holidays, yet that expectation in and of itself creates stress and overwhelm for us. The holidays can be challenging for many for a lot of different reasons including having to deal with family-of-origin dynamics, unresolved issues, toxicity, and other triggers. 

We can go about the season differently in that we can be mindful of our end-of-year and new year planning approach, and how we actually plan the holidays to reduce stress, overwhelm, and exhaustion. And, we can go about them with the intention of minimizing conflicts and triggers. 

When we go about things without intentionality and mindfulness we might experience life and relationships as mine fields… Where the less care we put into how we tread, the more likely we are to blow things up…

Things that might create conflict and that can be triggering can be related to:

• Contribution, collaboration, support, accomplishments, achievements, impact, success, gifting, spending, appearances, weight, body image, self-esteem, transitions, life changes, aging 
• Disconnection, cut offs, estrangement, anger issues, lying, disloyalty, jealousy, comparison, sibling ribaldry, parenting, elderly parents, crossing boundaries, enmeshment, generational patterns, affairs, chronic illness, infertility, grief and bereavement, abusive tendencies and/or history of abuse
• Wellness, self-management, mental health concerns (anxiety, phobias, panic attacks, obsessive-compulsive disorder, attention-deficit disorder, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder, complex post-traumatic stress disorder, depression, bipolar and other mood disorders, borderline and other personality disorders, eating disorders, addictions and substance abuse, and others)  

When these things are part of one’s life in some shape or form, they have an impact on how we feel and experience interactions and events.

We might end up feeling and experiencing: not being good enough, put down, put out, pressured, criticized, blamed, let down, rejected, neglected, unsupported, misunderstood, not valued, disrespected, taken for granted, ignored, dismissed, unimportant, incompetent, powerless, and so on… 

Whether we choose to respond, staying calm and collected, or react, getting agitated and thrown off, it’s up to us… 

In the moment and in the face of being triggered it might not feel like we have a choice. It is almost impossible, biologically, to respond well in the face of a trigger. Therefore, it is imperative that we have our own back and mitigate conflicts and triggers by anticipating them. We can exercise our power to choose proactively and get ahead of these things to be preventative. 

Of course, we can’t prevent all conflicts and triggers, but we can sure stave off a lot by mindfully and intentionally addressing our circumstances and needs. 

Check out our latest podcast episode for more specific circumstances and triggers and how to go about managing them for a more wonderful season and upcoming year.

Watch our previous Podcast Episodes on our YouTube channel

Get this FREE End-Of-Year & New-Year Planning™ (ENP) Process…

Wishing you all the joy, connection and love today and always…

With Much Love & Light!

PS: Related Articles
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Uplevel your holidays with enriching traditions
What would you like to have more of in the New Year?
Blast the winter blues with more love
Are you achieving your relationship goals?

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Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.