Even though words are important sometimes they are overrated… Hence, we say things like, A picture is worth a thousand words… And in this case, there is so much more communication going on between partners than what words can say…
We know we communicate in a lot of different ways, including non-verbal communication and body language… But what if I told you that those are also very basic. We connect at other levels that we usually don’t take into consideration…
Like through being interconnected and using our intuition and knowing…
And, like using our felt body, our sensing abilities, to feel into our selves, our partner and our relationship…
There is a ton of information here that we usually use automatically.
But what if we were to tap into this intentionally and leverage it for a more authentic, deeper, and meaningful connection?
In this episode, I have a lovely and inspiring conversation with Carmela Bennett, a somatic psychotherapist, who shares about what somatic and experiential relating is and the benefits of relating from a sensing place, how to use it to manage and repair conflict, how it’s healing and repatterning, how it enhances interactions with deeper emotional and physical intimacy, and how to use it for enriching and upleveling our relationship.
We discuss over a dozen practices partners can use immediately to elevate their relating…
Hope this information serves you and helps you get on the path to your Successful Relationship and Meaningful Life.
ABOUT OUR GUEST
Carmela Bennett has been a psychotherapist for the past 25 years and maintained a private practice for individuals, couples, and families in NYC since 2016. She has a Doctorate in Leadership, a Masters in Marriage in Family Counseling, Somatic Experiencing training and holds a CASAC addiction specialist certification. She blends years of training and experience with holistic, somatic, experiential, and psychodynamic modalities and specializes in working with relationships, addiction, anxiety disorders, PTSD and developmental trauma treatment using somatic experiencing. Her lifelong participation in the expressive arts, especially dance and movement, inspires integrating creativity, imagination, and intuition into all aspects of her life and work. She considers our basic human need for connection and individual purpose a fundamental resource for meaningful change. You can find her at CarmelaBennett.com.
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Yep, the celebration continues! We are celebrating our Podcast’s 1st Year Anniversary! Love bringing topics and conversations to support you in your Journey. I super enjoy the conversations with colleagues, friends, and experts on topics that I believe would enrich your experience, expand your consciousness, and of course help you make the changes you are seeking in your relationship and your life. We got you!
We cover a range of topics from all things relationship, including changing codependent patterns, to mental health and wellness, to self-love and expanding consciousness… We believe in embracing a relationship enrichment lifestyle and support you in creating the relationship and life you love. Through love and connection, we can create anything we desire…
Our celebration includes special episodes this month of selected segments from each episode we’ve created thus far of key takeaways for immediate implementation and results…
In this episode we cover the second half of the episodes, with topics such as: Embracing interconnectedness, empowering ourselves in relationship, integrating meaningful rituals and traditions, enhancing our sex life, developing parenting of neurodivergent children, implementing health, wellness, and success mindset and habits, considering divorce through mediation.
When you come across a guest you like or a topic that you’d like to hear more on, you can access their full original video episode linked in the list below.
Hope you enjoy this Essentials Compilation!
Hope this information serves you and helps you get on the path to your Successful Relationship and Meaningful Life.
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THE GUESTS LINEUP
Segment: Awakening to Our Consciousness and Interconnectedness From Episode 12: Jeffrey Dunne – Explore Interconnectedness for More Harmony and Joy
Segment: Managing and Owning Ourselves Creates Smoother Interactions From Episode 13: Cinthia Hiett – Refresh Your Relationship with Your Adult You
Segment: Why Rituals Are Important and How they Enrich Our Relationships From Episode 14: Evan Imber-Black – Exploring Rituals to Enrich Relationships and Create Change
Segment: How We Choose to Look at Things Creates Our Reality From Episode 15: Francois Lupien – Small Big Mindset Tweaks to Succeed at Everything in Life
Segment: There are Two Types of Lovers in the Relationship From Episode 16: Deborah Fox – Libido Differences, Rekindling Desire and Sexual Satisfaction
Segment: What’s So Special About Play and Why It’s Important From Episode 17: Polina Shkadron – Parenting Neurodivergent Children: Tantrums, Parenting Styles, Self-Regulation (Pt1)
Segment: A Controversial Approach to Managing Kids Acting Out From Episode 18: Polina Shkadron – Parenting Neurodivergent Children: Transitions, Discipline, and Connection (Pt2)
Segment: Everything in Your Life Has an Impact on Your Wellbeing From Episode 19: Marvin Bee – A Different Perspective on Habits for Overall Health and Happiness
Segment: Even Your Personality Has an Impact on Your Health From Episode 20: Angela Mazza – Connecting Health Issues to Psychological and Relational Patterns
Segment: Your Daily Rhythms and Habits Impact Your Hormones From Episode 21: Serena Goldstein – Demystifying Women’s Hormonal Journey Throughout their Life Cycle
Segment: Creative Ways of Breaking Impasses When Divorcing From Episode 22: Glenn Dornfeld – If You Choose to Divorce, Choose Empowering Settlements with Ease
It’s been in the air, that partners, especially women, are really feeling disconnected and unsettled in their relationship. They are getting more and more in touch with feeling like something is missing, that there could be more, that just sitting side by side binge watching Netflix while their partner is also on another device, is just not enough to feel emotionally and relationally satisfied with their partner… This is a wonderful awareness because it can be addressed… As opposed to feeling irritated and aggravated a lot of the time in the presence of their partner. No matter what their partner does, they find fault with it or it doesn’t satisfy… Even their partner’s breathing irks them- literally! Does your partner snore?
Couples don’t need to be fighting or thinking divorce for them to realize that their relationship can use some enrichment… That their relationship can use an upgrade, an upleveling… But of course, they can also be struggling.
Couples get into trouble when they approach their relationship from fear, from ego, from arrogance… Usually one of the partners feels like they do everything for the relationship and their life, and like their partner is the problem- they can’t even breathe properly! And, that they could be doing more…
This is exactly the mindset that creates funky dynamics and that keeps couples feeling stuck or from creating a radiant relationship… When one of the partners is feeling so disconnected, neglected, taken from granted, and the like, they go into control, micromanaging, demanding, critical, and even nasty mode… This makes their partner feel unappreciated, devalued, controlled, small, insignificant, and the like. Which makes them shut down even more and become emotionally, and even physically unavailable. Which in turns triggers the other some more… And so the cycle, loop, dynamic, repeating patterns go…
It is usually the woman who feels the disconnect more and starts this cycle… Of course, it can be said that the man started by not showing up emotionally in the first place… But we have to plant the flag somewhere and it is easier to see it when we observe what is being done, versus what isn’t.
*Now, I said “usually” but the reverse is also true, and I used the genders for simplicity’s sake but please replace them as it fits your relationship. Just know that regardless of gender, the polarities still exist in the relationship in terms of feminine or masculine energy that creates the attraction between the two (both have both but lean more into one). If the binary language is offensive to you, you can translate this further and just suffice to say that there are different energies with opposing needs, they don’t need to be labeled…
The partners keep triggering each other with their relationship overfunctioning (pursuing) and relationship underfunctioning (distancing).
Once the partners pause and recognize that they are dissatisfied and constantly triggering each other, they can now become proactive about creating change in their relationship…
It is super helpful to shift how things are being interpreted- a lot of times the partners assume the worst, feel it’s totally hopeless, and feel like calling it quits. They throw up the baby with the bath water!
When what is needed is different perspective, realignment, and approach:
~ Embrace a Heart-Centered Approach – Move down from the head, logic, ego and fear driven overanalyzing, interpreting, assuming, and knowing best and knowing it all… Move down to the heart and see and feel the blessings, beauty, joy, gratitude, ease, flow, appreciation, love… Cultivate this, expand it… Fill your heart, enlarge your heart. Connect with your sacred heart…
~ Embrace a Higher Estate – When you connect with your heart and lead from your heart life and your relationship become infinitesimally easier… Connect with compassion and unconditional love… Your partner is not perfect, as you are not… Your partner is also on a Journey, as are you… Have some grace for your experiences and really partner up in your great life adventure…
~ Embrace a Higher Living – When you realign as we are saying here, you are automatically in a different reality! Things play out differently, work out better, easier, and smoother for the highest good of all. Life and your relationship become a dream come true… It is not that difficult to become your best self, create your best relationship, and your best life as the end of the day…
Ok, so this is all well and good in concept and philosophically you may be thinking, and asking what that means for the everyday.
Now that I shared the perspective shift for you to embrace, that creates a major shift in and of itself by the way… Let me bring it down to the clinical and practical so you can hang your hat somewhere.
The dynamics get created because of our programming, patterning and conditioning… This is why we address this a lot… We want to deprogram ourselves to get out of the box and into a more authentic, expansive, and loving relationship…
Real down to earth and tangible practices help with this:
*I’ve written about these extensively in the blog and have done some videos as well – feel free to search for selflove practice, connection, reprogramming and the like for more. Though the concepts are not always fully expounded and contextualized know that everything I offer, even the fun and silly things like creating seasonal bucket lists and 30-day challenges, serve a higher purpose and good of all…
~ Self-Love Practice – This practice addresses your inner-child… Meets your needs, nourishes and resources you, and heals you…
~ Partner-Love Practice – This practice addresses your shadows (unknown, hidden, disowned parts of you)… Meets your partner’s needs, delights and resources your partner, and evolves you…
There is so much possibility, gifts, and blessings in there you can play there for eternity. Embrace them as a way of life… Like I like to say, embrace a Relationship Enrichment Lifestyle….
And, for a bonus practice for today that is totally embodied and relational and in real time- CoRegulation:
~ Coregulation Practice – This is a way to use ourselves in the moment to have our partner’s back, each other’s back… It utilizes our nervous system to resonate with our partner’s to influence each other’s estate. When we are resourced and intentional, we can stay calm, grounded, and available in the face of our partner’s reactivity which in turn helps them calm down, get grounded and soothed… It helps as a calming agent and connecting mechanism in times of distress (and other times as well!). This is a great practice when and for addressing triggers, pain, and stress.
Show up with warmth, calming presence and tone of voice, attunement, eye contact
Provide verbal acknowledgement of the other’s distress and experience, put words to it
Offer deep breathing or synchronizing breaths, eye contact or eye gazing, and gentle reassuring caring touch (don’t force hugs!)
When partner’s meet their own and each other’s needs, they heal and grow… And change their stuck repeating patterns… They deprogram…
Embracing a coregulation practice is a super loving way to be in relationship and to deepen your connection. Now this addresses what feels like missing in your relationship, and helps with building that connection you crave… Now that’s partnership, cocreation, and Love!
PSS: Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?
Copyright (c) 2024 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
In case I haven’t directly made this point before, I believe that connection is pretty much the magic pill. I know I have also said that about meditation and other mindfulness practices. LOL But these practices are a means to connecting with ourselves, our higher self, and Love Consciousness, Oneness… So, it still boils down to Connection, and our awareness that we are all interconnected… In that Connection we feel the Love, the aliveness, the belonging, the acceptance, the radiance that we are, and so much more…
But without getting too philosophical and esoteric, suffice it to say that when partners feel connectedthey can work through anything… And the same is true for being in connection with our children…
When our parenting focuses on creating and safeguarding connection, our children thrive and the interactions and home life become smooth sailing…
What is beautiful about this conceptis that it goes both ways! Not only do we provide all that awesomeness for the other, be it our partner, our child, or someone else, but in doing so we are also receiving the same benefits…
This is co/creation at its best. This is one of the wonders and gifts of being in relationship.
In today’s episode I’m excited to share the remainder of the conversation with Polina Shkadron, a Play Therapist, about parenting neurodivergent children. I loved this conversation as the points she made about raising neurodivergent children just apply to being in relationship in general…
Today’s episode is part 2 of our conversation, check out part 1 here, and here we cover how using specific language gets better outcomes with your child, how to set good boundaries without overusing the “no”, what to do with attention seeking behavior, how to coparent, and how to smoothly do transitions…
It’s packed with information on how to succeed at your parenting and create a harmonious and joyful home.
PSS: Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?
Copyright (c) 2024 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
It is very easy to neglect our relationship and our partner, if we are not intentional about showing love, giving care, and investing in all the enriching ways… We live in a world where work is the priority… We spend more time working than we do taking care of our personal life and sharing time with our loved ones… The grind and the rat race are still very much alive. I had hoped that the pandemic would have made a larger impact in this regard. But old habits, social constructs and a deeply ingrained systems will obviously require a more sustained, compassionate, and cooperative approach to change… In the meantime, it is up to us to safeguard our bond and our relationship from the onslaught of life’s demands…
It is up to us to make a concerted effort, investment, in prioritizing our partner and our relationship. When we are not intentional the tentacles of chaos and other demands have free reign to reach into every crevice with an ounce of energy and snatch it up… Because of our programming and because of the world we live in, we allow this to happen. Other things appear more important in the moment to moment, until we are zapped and have nothing else to give.
But making a conscious and intentional decision to set up our routines, days, weeks, and months in a ways that build in the space, the time, the energy conservation, and mechanisms for having time for each other, for being resourced, for being present and available, and for being conscious and attuned, allows us to really be in relationship and enjoy our connection.
Going about our life and our relationship this way, allows for the Us to not only survive, but also thrive… It allows us to focus on what is important and to have the time and the energy for it. And, most importantly, it doesn’t allow for the rest of life to get in the way and wreak havoc.
When we do this reset and Alignment, we tap into the synergy inherent in our relationshipand are then better able to utilize it as the Life Partnership it is meant to be. It is our rock, our haven, our source of joy and so much more. It elevates it to its rightful place from which we can draw what we need to have our amazing life adventure and best Human Experience…
Embracing this relationship enrichment mindset and approach ensures our love is protected, nurtured, expanded, and everlasting… This is the abundance available to us if we just tune in and choose our partner everyday…
Being aware of how our current reality sets us up for the grind and disconnect, and how our systems reinforce separateness, competition, and lack, allows us to make different choices than if we blindly go along. And being proactive about collaborating in not allowing the machine to win, while being compassionate to those still under its spell, makes for an easier transition into more harmonious and joyful living.
Together we can conquer all…
In today’s episode, I have an enlightening and informative conversation with Dr. Jeffrey Dunne about the concept of interconnectedness, unity consciousness, and implications for a more harmonious and loving relationship and a more sustainable future…
PSS: Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?
Copyright (c) 2024 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
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Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT has been in the mental health profession in varying capacities for the past 20+ years. She is the Founder and Director of metrorelationship.com a psychotherapy and coaching practice specializing in working with busy professional and entrepreneurial couples who are struggling getting on the same page and feeling connected. The work helps couples create a radiant and successful relationship and meaningful life by becoming a strong partnership and increasing their connection, intimacy, and fun. Emma is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Relationship Strategy™.
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