It is my sincerest wish that you have gotten everything you’ve wanted out of the Summer Season this year. If as you read that statement there is a little voice that says, I wish, or, Yeah right, it’s not too late! Regardless of which camp you are in, look at the next two weeks of August as a time to milk the last of the Summer Season.
Make it good! Now is the time to review your Summer Bucket List and squeeze in any activity or experience you would still like to have. Get in touch with what would make it a successful, satisfying summer at the end of the day and go for it!
As we are beginning to wrap up the Summer Season and setting up for a smooth, productive, and abundant Fall, I’m playing with the concept of success habits… When it comes to doing our everyday actions, we usually go about our day in autopilot and through habits.
This is great because it allows us to use our energy, focus and mental bandwidth for higher executive endeavors. The caveat with this is that our automatic habits were created by default, reactivity, and on the fly. This lack of intentionally sets us up to undermine ourselves as we go.
The lack of intention on how we set up our days, the routines we follow, the vices we allow, the thoughts we entertain, and just how we show up in our life creates a mediocre, or downright horrible experience. I too often witness people bumping along in life… They have no ownership, no clarity, no direction. They go through the motions, they aspire for little, they sell themselves short, they get in their own way…
These same people don’t have much life satisfaction and meaning, experience poor health and relationships, their life is riddled with drama and excuses. They move slow and don’t make much happen. They are not really living to their full potential, to their greatness, nor experiencing life the way they were meant to. They are not fully Living their human experience…
We want to systematize and automate as much as possible, so our bandwidth is available for more meaningful activities and not just the management of life… The key is to own our system and our automation, for us to program, instruct, and set up how the program is to run…
They key is also to set it up efficiently, streamlined, and on target. We all have ways we do things, but how much thought went into creating that way. Does the way actually support, serve and honor us at the end of the day?
This is where Intentional Habits™ come in. Intentional habits flow from our values and are meant to automate the building blocks of our daily life, allowing us to experience an amazing Journey. When the basic of life is intentionally set up, we create a strong foundation from which to build the Life we want. What is important to us in our life?
Loving and nurturing Relationships, health and longevity, financial and other abundance? When we identify what is important to us and what we value, the rest of our decisions flow from there… These decisions include how we do our days.
We don’t want to overthink every decision to make sure it lines up with our values, or to overthink every behavior or action we take. That’s way too much work. This is why we set up routines as we identify and implement Intentional Habits™.
We want to get rid of any habits that undermine our wellbeing and our desires in life, what we value…
We want to create habits that support our wellbeing and our desires in life, what we value…
We want to build routines (systematization, automation) around these for ease of implementation and sustainability.
Clean-up, set-up, line-up and move on!
Every action, every behavior, every thought, everything we do every day is what creates the fabric of our Life. It behooves us to own we do, to intentionally choose it all, so we create what we desire. It behooves us to get out of our own way, to stop sabotaging ourselves, to stop holding ourselves back. Embracing Intentional Habits™ makes this possible, makes our life well Lived possible. Don’t choose to just survive, choose to thrive!
Remember to complete the MetroRelationsip™ Assignment below to help you effortlessly implement this, make changes and immediately start creating your Successful Relationship and Meaningful Life…
Share your experience by leaving a comment below!
Happy Thriving!
~ Your MetroRelationship™ Assignment
Start out by identifying immediate, blatant habits that undermine you. Tackle these with a vengeance. Eradicate them! Start with one or two at a time, be gentle and compassionate with yourself as you go.
Replace undermining with supportive habits, implement Intentional Habits™. You choose the habit (mediating, exercising, juicing, giving hugs, sending Hello texts, date night, family night, reading, cutting expenses, adding to savings, etc.) and add it to a thought out simple yet powerful daily/weekly/monthly routine…
Add this to your Tool Kit…
Copyright (c) 2018 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
I hope you are having a magnificent week! A lot of folks are away enjoying the last of the Summer Season while others are already in the throes of preparation for back-2-school. At this end, we are milking the sunshine, warmth and leisure pace while gearing up for the Fall. It is such pleasure to be putting finishing touches on this year’s Summer Personal Projects™.
Of course, some Personal Projects are ongoing. We usually know these as Personal Development. One of mine that falls in this category is that of embracing More Being, Less Doing™… What I lovingly call, “Moving Slow”, and more recently coined the experience as ZenBrain™. I play with this concept as an angle in my quest for ongoing and sustained Well-Being.
Needless to say, I thoroughly enjoy exploring self-care practices that promote wellbeing. A great “hobby” indeed! This brings me to sharing about a delightfully wonderful meditation I have the pleasure of having in my Meditation Library: Guided Meditation for Taking Care of Yourself and Cultivating Self-Love, by Sara Raymond of the Mindful Movement. This meditation precisely captures the essence of the Self-care Practice I’ve been writing about.
Self-care is not just about a day at the spa and pampering oneself. Self-care has to do with establishing healthy boundaries, allowing and receiving, pacing ourselves, honoring ourselves, nourishing ourselves, connecting with our Self, enriching our Soul.
A self-care practice involves taking time for ourselves. It involves doing what is good for us. It involves being kind and compassionate toward ourselves. It involves believing and investing in ourselves. It involves expecting to be treated properly, to be treated with respect, kindness and care.
It involves standing up for ourselves. It involves saying No to something if taking it on will overwhelm us. It involves implementing a healthy lifestyle routine. It involves taking good care of all aspects of our personal life.
When we take care of ourselves, when we are nice, kind and compassionate toward ourselves, we are showing ourselves Love. When we experience self-love, then we are capable of being in Loving Relationships. Too often though, we judge ourselves for falling short of some standard. We have limiting believes about who we are and our abilities.
We question our worthiness, or at least walk around feeling unworthy. Sometimes we have over inflated egos as protection against this pain. We might not even be aware of this underlying driver. When we nurture the relationship with ourselves, we are showing ourselves Worthiness.
A Self-Care Practice is the cornerstone for cultivating self-love and worthiness, ingredients necessary for creating a successful relationship(s) and meaningful life… If instead we were to walk around on fumes, depleted, on alert, triggered, with protections, disconnected from our Core, Authentic, Higher Self, how could we possibly have good interactions with others and create the life we want?
I’ve come across a fantastic analogy for this: Imagine observing a person through a window who is vacuuming. They move up and down the rug, leaving streaks as they go. They seem on a mission. They look as if they are really into the task and doing a good job of it. Until you glance over and see the power cord is not plugged in…
This is how most go through life, doing, doing, doing, without being plugged in… They don’t make a dent in their life. They just exert energy without getting any results… Ugh!!
So, enough with the Doing. It’s time to really embrace Being through a robust Self-Care Practice that includes a rich selection of Mindfulness Practices. When we are plugged-in, resourced, we have leverage and are empowered to rock our world!
So, will you join in? What Self-Care Practice activities, routines, experiences, resources, mindset can you implement / embrace more fully? Don’t go at this as if you are on a mission… Be gentle, caring, loving, and easy about it. Enjoy the process, learn and experiment, savor what you choose, milk it…
Remember to complete the MetroRelationsip™ Assignment below to help you effortlessly implement this, make changes and immediately start creating your Successful Relationship and Meaningful Life…
Share your experience by leaving a comment below!
Happy Practicing!
~ Your MetroRelationship™ Assignment
Take stock of how loved your feel in your life. What is the status of your relationship?
Take stock of how worthy you feel in your life. How deserving do you feel?
Now, take stock of how kind, nice and compassionate you are towards yourself. How do you treat yourself?
Take stock of your limiting beliefs in terms of expectations, shoulds, perfectionism, and such… How much do you ride yourself?
From the above inquiry and insights, pick an area you need to ease up on and a way to give yourself a break and Love…
Allow it, take it in…
Add this to your Tool Kit…
Copyright (c) 2018 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
Happy Friday! Feeling frisky yet? Fridays are powerful, they are the gateway to another dimension. They invite us to leave behind the realm of responsibility, to-dos, and commitments, and to enter the realm of Play.
I love it when people share about their 4-day-work-weeks, dress-down-Fridays, team-Friday-happy-hours, weekend trips, and such. And, what better time to fully embrace the concept of Frisky-Friday™ than during the summer months when the sunshine just beckons us to play!
Even though most people have their version of Frisky-Friday and how they enjoy their weekends, I notice that they don’t fully enter this other dimension. They linger somewhere in limbo, a world of carried-over chores, noise in their head, and spending time engaged in “commitments” or “making fun happen”… All of this is a lot of doing, which actually ends up eluding the benefit of Frisky-Friday’s Dimension…
Frisky Friday Meaning
To continue with our current ongoing theme of “getting the most of summer”, of having a Meaningful Summer™, it is important to take full advantage of our weekends. Weekends are not to be squandered. Weekends are to be milked for their inherent benefit, that of transcending the usual, Being… The meaning of Frisky-Friday is about embracing the seduction of pleasure and fun to engender well-being.
Our brain is hardwired to seek out pleasure, it is a network of “pleasure pathways” and “pleasure centers”. When these are stimulated by activities we consider pleasurable (soothing scents, enticing aromas, wonderful touch, gorgeous sites), they release brain chemicals that are associated with feeling good.
What is really amazing about this concept is that aside from the obvious benefit of feeling good, when these centers are activated they are an antidote to stress and its harmful impact.
The stress and pleasure centers of the brain are mutually exclusive, they cannot be triggered simultaneously. When in a pleasure state, we cannot also be in a stressful state therefore foregoing any harmful effects. This is the benefit of properly participating in our weekends, bypassing the impact of stress for pleasure – this is the formula for well-being!
But, does this mean we are slaves to pleasure-seeking, and potentially risky or what some might even call immoral behavior, with the host of related negative consequences? No, because pleasure is not just associated with the senses or what we traditionally think of when we consider pleasure and fun… There are all sorts of pleasure and fun to be had!
Which brings me to Values-Based Pleasure… This is pleasure associated with a sense of higher purpose that is the Key to Well-Being… The Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley focuses on research to this end, and provides a wealth of information and resources for the pursuit of well-being and making the world a better place.
They have identified 10 related building blocks, virtues, that when embraced rewire our brain, marinate our mind with positive cocktails, and change our life experience…
So, if you haven’t come up with your Summer Personal Project™ yet, you can use these Virtues as inspiration… Which virtue do you want to explore, expand and embrace more? Pick one and create a project for it, for example:
Develop a community service project on a cause dear to your heart
Indulge in a literary, conceptual or industry body of work
Expand your emotional range, language, expression
Research ethnic, other minority, or needs groups and how to support them
Clean your thinking, focus on the positive, share appreciations
Implement a gratefulness and mindfulness practice
Join a new group that shares a common interest
There are five weeks left to the summer season, and if your children go back to school early then you have even less weeks. If you’re still scratching your head asking yourself the meaning of Frisky Friday, it means to make the most of your time off and (currently) what’s left of summer, for the best summer yet!
Remember to complete the MetroRelationsip™ Assignment below to help you effortlessly implement this, make changes and immediately start creating your Successful Relationship and Meaningful Life…
Share your experience by leaving a comment below!
Happy Pleasuring!
~ Your MetroRelationship™ Assignment
Let the concept of Values-Based Pleasures seduce you this summer.
Maybe you want to indulge in exploring Virtues – their meaning, application, implementation, impact. Maybe you want to play at incorporating them into different aspects of your life – incorporating them into your mission, relationship, parenting, service, team building, book, any way you want!
Copyright (c) 2018 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
Don’t you just love Summer?! What do you love about it? I love the weather, of course, the change in routine, the more leisure pace, the focus on fun, the wardrove, the aliveness in nature, and I can keep going on. But, most importantly what I love about Summer is that it’s conducive to Dreaming… Summer is inspiring and motivating. It jump-starts the creative juices and energy flow. It resets us, if we allow it.
Usually by the time Summer rolls around we are tired again, cluttered again, having let go of our wellness and self-care practice again, putting out fires as opposed to working from inspiration, again. And, so on… Right?
This is why I like Summer Personal Projects™. Regardless of their nature, I find these super productive in different ways than the usual endeavors. I find this is time for personal development, relationship/family nurturing, home improvement, life-style enrichment, purpose and meaning exploration, and leading-edge thinking…
I find this time super fun. This is when we make major shifts in our family. This is when we set up for a successful rest of the year and beyond.
So, this leads me to share about my latest intrigue, the concept of Minimalism… I have to admit, I’m a complete novice compared to those that have fully embraced this concept. Which makes it perfect as a personal project. Even though I usually write about streamlining routines, decluttering, letting go of commitments, clearing calendars, and the like, I’m embracing this concept to a whole new level! Yay!
Now, this is a personal challenge as I like to keep, track, record, document, and be prepared for anything… I overpack. I have several file cabinets in my office. I have back-up-systems for my back-up-systems. Our attic has “things we can still use.”
Until very recently I had every email I ever wrote and calendar event I ever scheduled, including all of my team members’ over time! Colleagues connect with me for documentation from almost 20 years ago… And, I have it! LOL
I have systems for keeping this tamed, organized, automated, and such. It has worked and served its purpose all this time. But now, I’m finding the need to further clear, let go, untether, minimize… It’s a very interesting experience. It’s a very interesting feeling, of not caring to hang on…
The Minimalism concept promotes letting go of stuff, to be able to add. The point is to let go of things that are unnecessary, superfluous, redundant, undermining, energy sucking. This creates space for things that are more value driving, meaningful, and life-enriching. When our life is full of junk, we have a junky life… When our life is full of meaning stuff, we have a meaningful life…
Embracing this concept is one of my current Summer Personal Projects™ that I’m sure will take a while to integrate more fully, but I’m up for the challenge and the fun to be had!
What is your focus during the Summer, aside from entertaining the kids off from school and going on family vacation? How do you milk your Summer time? How do you not miss out on the gems of Summer? Which of the above areas of Summer Personal Projects™ resonated for you? Are you tackling any? Which would you tackle? Which would inspire, reset, shift you…?
Aside from the inspiration to share about this, I also felt compelled to see what others might be doing on this topic. I came across this invigorating compilation: The Power of 30-Day Challenges. What a wonderful way to jump start Personal Projects!
What do you say, will you join me in having a more Meaningful Summer™? What will it be, a project of your own creation or following one of the 30-day challenges? Pick something that feels exciting to you to take on. It doesn’t matter what it is, the size, or the length. What matters is that you are enriching your experience through this focus, and that’s where the juice is…
Remember to complete the MetroRelationsip™ Assignment below to help you effortlessly implement this, make changes and immediately start creating your Successful Relationship and Meaningful Life…
Share your experience by leaving a comment below!
Happy Shifting!
~ Your MetroRelationship™ Assignment
Summer Time is just great to do our life differently, and to create momentum to shift as we desire…
What say you about taking on a Summer Personal Project™?
Make it fun, exciting, intriguing, outside your comfort zone, growth inducing and motivating!
Let this reset, rejuice and inspire you.
Enjoy!
Add this to your Tool Kit…
Copyright (c) 2018 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
Back from our major trip, a lot of driving, and much sightseeing. The girls trip was conceived and designed by our daughter, Vanessa, with the goal of seeing major cities along the way. Our excursion took us down the East Coast to Jacksonville, FL, across to New Orleans, LA, up to Cleveland, OH, and back across to NJ.
With a few one-nighters along the way, a multiple-day stay in New Orleans, and the 4th of July in Nashville, we did 3,400 miles through 15 states and 13 cities. Woohoo! I feel very accomplished after this. LOL
The trip in itself wasn’t extremely long, but because of the driving exertion, suspension from the everyday, and hypnotic roads, I feel I’ve been away a very long time… It was quite an experience, lending itself to new perspectives, renewed energy and continued ZenBrain… One of many fun spots included visiting the Audubon Park in New Orleans. What a magical and inspiring spot…
I’m so grateful to find places like this on my Journey, whether through a road trip or around the corner. These are the types of places that suspend noise, judgement, resentment, shaming, and the like. These are the types of places that assist in our Reprogramming…
You might be aware that we go through life with our usual view of the world, our mindset and our scripts. These narratives and believes when played over and over continue the running of our programming. This is not a bad thing if we intentionally create positive narratives that serve us…
The problem is that our narratives are usually colored and influenced by well-meaning others operating from a less than inspired, guided and authentic place themselves… Narratives created by default and operating never having been cleaned up, or without ongoing tending, just perpetuate, actually worsen, our dissatisfying status quo.
They provide convoluted and defensive logic, negative reinforcements, and a downright sabotaging approach to life…
For us to have satisfying and successful relationships and a rewarding and meaningful life, we have to tend to our narrative. We have to clean up our view of the world, our beliefs, our meaning systems, our scripts, and our thought patterns. Leaving this untamed, dark, and dirty (like I like to say) is a dangerous way to live our life. We are pretty much signing off on having an unsatisfying experience at the end of the day…
This is why I so love Self-care that includes Mindfulness Practices because this is exactly what they provide. They provide a respite from the noise, the usual chaotic, negative and defensive thinking, and undermining approach. They provide a way to bypass the “programming” allowing us to connect with our core, authenticity, and Light.
When we do this frequently we reprogram ourselves… and start operating from a cleaner, more authentic and inspired place more consistently. This is what I’ve been calling ZenBrain. The experience of a sustained and ongoing peaceful and authentic feeling is just truly Divine. I wish this for you.
I’m super excited that every week more clients share they are incorporating a Mindfulness Practice into their routine. The progress and changes in their Journey is noticeably different once they do this… It is truly amazing to witness…
The Mindfulness Practice can include anything that resonates for us, like visiting and experiencing gorgeous and peaceful places I described above, meditating daily, gratitude journaling, coloring mandalas, anything that is hypnotic, quieting, and allows you to connect with your Higher Self, the core of you… From this place there is no funky program running the show!
It’s up to you how your relationships feel and what your life looks like every day. It’s up to you to shed the programming and live your life from your authentic Self, from Light and Love. And what a life this would be!
Remember to complete the MetroRelationsip™ Assignment below to help you effortlessly implement this, make changes and immediately start creating your Successful Relationship and Meaningful Life…
Share your experience by leaving a comment below!
Happy Reprogramming!
~ Your MetroRelationship™ Assignment
It is imperative that you integrate a Mindfulness Practice into your routine!
Assess your Mindfulness Quotient and then play with the options below to become more Mindful…
Do Guided Mindfulness Meditation, Transcendental Meditation
Listen to binaural beats frequencies, sounds of nature, Tibetan singing bowls, Tibetan flute
Keep journal of gratitude, positive aspects, letting go
Color Mandalas / Mindfulness Drawings
Intentionally knit, drive, walk, swim, dance, hike, and such
Be in nature
Do deep muscle relaxation, breathing exercises, body scans
Copyright (c) 2018 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
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Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT has been in the mental health profession in varying capacities for the past 20+ years. She is the Founder and Director of metrorelationship.com a psychotherapy and coaching practice specializing in working with busy professional and entrepreneurial couples who are struggling getting on the same page and feeling connected. The work helps couples create a radiant and successful relationship and meaningful life by becoming a strong partnership and increasing their connection, intimacy, and fun. Emma is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Relationship Strategy™.
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