Unfortunately, it is common for couples to struggle in their relationship. No relationship if free from ups and downs. The key is in preventing this as much as possible and in regrouping as fast as possible. And they both have to do with the partners showing up with their Best Self to the best of their ability as consistently as possible.
This requires the partners to embrace personal development and relationship enrichment as a lifestyle… It doesn’t have to be all consuming and nerdy… LOL But it does have to do with choosing to have the Best Relationship and to bring intentionality to how we show up, how we interact and how we approach our life…
When the partners are invested, conscientious, and intentional they CAN create they relationship they desire…
In this video, I introduce the 5 Elements of our Successful Relationship Strategy that helps our clients in their transformation.
We help couples with online couples counseling:
Break the impasse and get unstuck
Improve their communication
Change their patterns
Increase the connection and intimacy
Create a stronger partnership
Start playing with these elements and you’ll experience immediate results!
PSS: Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?
Copyright (c) 2023 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
I believe it makes sense that if we do not share about ourselves that others can’t know who we are, yes? Yet, it is common for people to feel like a wallflower, unseen, misunderstood, unappreciated, or not valued even when they choose not to show up, not to open-up, not to share…
I get that it is challenging to do these things if we are afraid of being judged, criticized, mocked, or rejected. But how are we to be known and connect with others if we are not available? It takes courage to be vulnerable and to fully show up, to be authentic, but it is exactly this vulnerability that is at the core of deeper and more meaningful interactions…
If we are seeking to deepen the connection with our lovey and to have more meaningful interactions, we have to figure out how to be more vulnerable…
Of course opening up and sharing from the depths of our soul, means sharing our personal views, thoughts, and desires, and even possibly our darkest secrets. Some of which we have kept private for so long that it feels threatening to share them, to let them be known…
If we are not feeling confident about ourselves, our situation in life, our status in our relationship, then it is more challenging to open-up and share our internal world. It is scary to be this exposed when we might already feel wobbly and uncertain of where we stand or how we’ll be perceived…
A lot of times our fear is totally warranted as we know our partner doesn’t agree with our views, thinks completely differently, or wouldn’t welcome our desires… We might think, What’s the point in rocking the boat, why risk being forsaken…
But here is where the rubber meets the road… If we don’t, we don’t create the opportunity for something different. We don’t create the chance at finding a common ground. We don’t allow for moving closer to each other from our opposing sides of the spectrum. We cheat ourselves of the opportunity to be seen, understood, and even cherished…
Not taking a risk takes away any chance of connecting, and connecting at a deeper level- this is a very lonely place…
At least when we disagree, when we are criticized, when we are judged, we have opened the door to have an exchange. We can massage our perspectives and invest in understanding each other in a way that we can’t do if we don’t take a chance…
Not Taking a Chance Gives Us NO Chance
When we take the risk all the cards are on the table, and we can finally play…
First, identify what is keeping you from showing up, from being more open, from being more vulnerable. What are you afraid of? What’s the worst that could happen? And, if that’s the worst, is it really that bad? Note, that our fears can be founded but we really give them a lot more power than is warranted. What if it didn’t matter what your partner thinks about what you think? Ha, if you were minding your own circles, this would be the case and problem solved… Just saying…
Second, choose to do better for yourself and for your relationship… Choose to take a risk and work through what comes up. Now, we are talking… Now we have material to engage on, to play with, to practice at having our best human experience… Now we have the opportunity to interact, to dialogue, to be curious, to wonder, to understand, to tolerate, to accept, to shift, to integrate, to expand… Remember, our partner is our Life Partner– they are here to enrich our life and to help us evolve…
Third, stay super open when listening to your partner’s side. Create safety for them to show up, create safety for you to show up. Agree that it’s ok to disagree. That you’ll interact in the name of learning each other more and getting each other better… You don’t have to love everything you hear… Just focus on understanding your partner. The point of the exchange is not to force your views on each other, but to better understand each other. Understanding your partner’s side doesn’t nullify yours, it doesn’t nullify you…
Being vulnerable allows us to better understanding each other, and that is what creates connection and intimacy… This is why vulnerability is so important…
PSS: Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?
Copyright (c) 2023 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
When people think of being in relationship or marriage, they don’t usually think of creating freedom. Quite the opposite is true, as with commitment usually comes exclusivity and responsibility which most would probably not equate as definitions of freedom…
The thing is that most don’t go about their relationship properly and that’s why they experience it as limiting, confining, and restrictive… I want to offer you that the opposite can actually be true. That you can create Freedom with your relationship…
As we embrace a gentler approach to life this month with our Monthly Theme to Bask, I invite you to take a similar approach to how you view your partner and your relationship. Let’s upgrade your Relationship Mindset to one that is freeing, refreshing, and empowering…
Just remember that we are as free as we allow ourselves to be… I usually love to refer to the book A Man’s Search for Meaning, by Perter Frankl, when I talk about this concept. We can be in a concentration camp and still be free…
Let’s play at embracing our freedom to be ourselves more, to create our successful relationship, to create our best life, and to enjoy all the little blessings… And, let’s go about it with ease…
Embrace your freedom to go with ease, to be gentle, and to chill…
PSS: Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?
Copyright (c) 2023 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
As we go deeper into the summer months, a time to have more fun, replenish, and bask, let’s use this opportunity to make choices that support and enrich our relationship and our life. Let’s make choices that empower us to be our Best Self and have a truly harmonious, joyful and love filled life. This means we must own all aspects of ourselves and our life and shift, tweak, and upgrade anything we want to change. With personal ownership comes freedom… The more we own ourselves and everything in our life, the more we have the power to make the changes we want…
Where would you start? What changes are you looking to make in your life? Does it have to do with wellness, relationship, success? Something else?
Wellness includes things like mental health, feeling good emotionally and physically, having energy and vitality, being healthy, being fit, looking good
Relationship includes things like feeling secure in your relationship, sharing a life vision with your partner, being able to easily get on the same page, meeting your own and each other’s needs, creating and sustaining a deep and meaningful connection, have great intimacy and fun, and having each other’s back and collaborating to create your Best Lives and your Life Vision
Success includes things like being proud of your profession and life endeavors, being productive, contributing, making a difference, and attaining financial freedom
Regardless of the area you are looking to improve, enhance and enrich, the key is to fully own it… Whenever we want to make changes and the changes don’t stick, we are quick to come up with reasons and excuses as to why something didn’t work. We are also great at blaming others and our circumstances…
Do you know what would happen if you took 100% responsibility for yourself, your relationship, and your life? Yes, even your relationship… More on this below. What would happen is that you would create what you desire! What a concept…
Taking 100% responsibility for our relationship means we do our side of the investing- we be the Best Partner we can be. We work, heal, evolve anything that gets in the way of giving love and receiving love. That gets us triggered, showing up with defenses, interacting from blame, distrust, and protection. That has us interacting with criticism, manipulation, and control…
~ We can really do some serious damage in our relationship if we are not careful…
~ We can also create the most amazing relationship… When we show up with awesomeness, we invite awesomeness back, and we create awesomeness…
~ It is up to us what we allow ourselves to create…
We have the choice as to how much we’ll own our life or how much we’ll victimize ourselves…
You have a choice
When we exercise the choice to fully own everything in our life and fully take charge of how we show up and who we become, we gain the freedom of not being at the mercy and whim of others and the wrenches life might through at us… For we have control over ourselves how we react, what we focus on, what we invest in, how we do our days, EVERYTHING… Then, oh boy- that’s when the magic happens…
Taking this much ownership of ourselves and our life, can’t but result in the masterpiece we are seeking to create… This is how we become who we truly are… This is how we have the best relationship with our partner. This is how we crack the code of life. This is how we win at the game of life. This is how we have our best human experience.
Exercise your choice
Which area will you choose right now to focus on fully owning? On fully showing up to? Gently, lovingly, but assuredly taking charge of it? Make your choice right now. There is never a better time like the present time… Now choose what aspects of that area you’ll play with first…
Wellness – Upgrading your mindset, feeling your feelings, embracing mindfulness, cleaning your nutrition, improving your sleep, enhancing your exercise, upleveling your grooming, and so on
Relationship – Creating a joint vision, having difficult conversations, meeting your and your partner’s needs, implementing connection habits, expanding your intimate repertoire, having adventures together, creating a divide and conquer approach to achieving your goals, and so on
Success – Taking charge of your day, reducing amount and length of meetings, creating focus work time, batching your tasks, chunking your time for specific work, having good follow through, getting and giving mentoring, and so on
What tactics and habits will you integrate into your life to start making the changes you desire?
Just the mere thought of choosing to fully own everything is super empowering and exhilarating…
It can also feel frightening, as now it is up to you to create what you want, there are no more excuses… But not to worry you can always get support like psychotherapy, couples therapy, or coaching.
Whatever camp you are on, know that this decision to fully own your whole life is the most important decision you have ever made… This is what gives you freedom and the power to truly have everything you desire.
PSS: Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?
Copyright (c) 2023 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
Let’s face it, there are a lot of reasons to be in a long-term loving romantic relationship. One of which is my absolute favorite- that of utilizing the relationship as a vehicle for evolving ourselves, and as the partnership in our Journey for having our best Human Experience and for creating our Best Life. A tall order, I know… But I love this reason because it places everything that happens in our relationship and in the time we share into a more meaningful context… And, no matter what happens we are in it together for our highest good… Then you can never go wrong! Your relationship can even help you bypass your current ego (your egoic defensive patterns)…
We’ve been doing a lot of work in reprogramming ourselves from all kinds of angles…
What if we take this whole thing to a new level? What if we find a hack to do all this so much easier? What if we transcend our usual experience with a simple shift…?
Now, I’ve touched on this before when I covered doing Identity work… This is that and more…
Creating an Alter Ego…
Our usual ego keeps us stuck and small… It sabotages us… And it takes what feels like a herculean effort to reprogram it and dismantle it… But what if there is a hack in the meantime to help create what we desire?
The hack is creating an Alter Ego… An Alter Ego just completely bypasses our usual patterns! The key is to properly design and intentionally engage our Alter Ego…
ENVISION – Have a vision of a new version of you. A version of you that you want to be, become more… What part of you is usually forgotten, goes unnoticed, can’t be easily tapped into, or you even believe you don’t have, that you’d like to have in your life. What kind of person do you want to be? What dimension would you like to add to yourself?
IDENTIFY – Given the new persona you want to become or add to yourself, what beliefs would that version of you have? What kind of worldview world they have? What kind of feelings would they feel? What kind of preferences would they have about things that are important to you? What personality characteristics would they have and what strengths? How would they approach your partner, relationship, and life differently?
EMBODY – Then, start showing up as this new version of yourself… Embrace this Alter Ego for them to be the new main character of your story, you might even want to give them a name… Show up as them in certain circumstances if that’s where you need them, or as much as possible if they are you 2.0… Tweak your habits and your appearance to match this new persona. You might even want to use a totem of sorts to channel your new you… Wearing non-prescription glasses, a specific piece of jewelry, a scarf or collar, a hat, and the like…
Integrating the New You
As you flesh out this new persona and start embracing it, think about what kind of standards they have, what are their musts and deal breakers, what are their expectations, how do they want to be treated, what kind of boundaries do they have, what values do they have and how do they live by them, how do they treat others, and so on…
Here we want to make sure that the Alter Ego is in alignment with our values and the core of who we are… We are just helping a great part of you come out to play… We are not creating something that doesn’t make sense nor support you and your life… This is an enhanced version of you that normally gets covered up with the muck of your egoic patterns…
We are bypassing our egoic patterns- we are coming out through the back door!
Remember, we are doing this to support you in Becoming the Best You. The you that’s in there and has challenges coming out to play… And, that this version is much more alluring, it’s magnetic, it gets what it wants, it easily manifests your Best Life with its magnificence.
In this version you are the King or Queen of your castle… Treat your partner like the Royal you are, and you’ll get the royal treatment back!
Your relationship is where you get to role play, have a dress rehearsal, and put on the show. Here is where you get to explore, practice, tweak and continue to Become…
Wishing you all the joy, connection and love today and always
With Much Love & Light!
PS: Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?
Copyright (c) 2023 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
STAY CONNECTED WITH US, SUBSCRIBE TO OUR NEWSLETTER
And, Get a FREE Relationship Enrichment Mini Course!
You CAN create the relationship you desire!
You have Successfully Subscribed!
With this Mini Course learn how to immediately Break your Impasse, Improve your Communication, Increase your Intimacy, Connection and Fun, & Create a Strong Partnership...
And with Emma’s weekly Love rich with Personal Development & Relationship Enrichment know-how, announcements, resources and more straight into your inbox.
Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT has been in the mental health profession in varying capacities for the past 20+ years. She is the Founder and Director of metrorelationship.com a psychotherapy and coaching practice specializing in working with busy professional and entrepreneurial couples who are struggling getting on the same page and feeling connected. The work helps couples create a radiant and successful relationship and meaningful life by becoming a strong partnership and increasing their connection, intimacy, and fun. Emma is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Relationship Strategy™.
Pin It on Pinterest
We track visits and User's visit information to analyze our performance and trends in order to create targeted messaging and programs to best serve you. We use cookies to provide a personalized and smoother browsing experience. Refer to our Privacy Policy for additional details.
You consent to our tracking and cookies when using our Websites.
![5 Steps to transform your relationship [VIDEO]](https://akiaiw4iby4ubmrqrbvqcomhaystacksoftwarearq.s3.amazonaws.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/07/18010400/5-Steps-to-transform-your-relationship-1080x675.png)
![Create Freedom with Your Relationship [Video]](https://akiaiw4iby4ubmrqrbvqcomhaystacksoftwarearq.s3.amazonaws.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/07/05133512/Create-Freedom-with-Your-Relationship--1080x675.png)
