How much do you love Valentine’s Day? That’s a tricky question, posed as an invitation for you to think about Relationship Nurturing… Regardless of how you feel about the holiday, and regardless of the status of your relationship…, I encourage you to use it to earmark a moment to step it up in the love department in your relationship…
For you see any excuse to be nicer, more generous, more nurturing, more wooing should be an automatic, Yes. This is how you uplevel your relationship by delighting your partner…
I obviously agree that this should not just be left for Valentine’s Day… Let me offer my yearly disclaimer and then we can get to delighting your partner. 😉
Part of what makes good relationships great, is the extra mile the partners go to for their partner… This is beyond the business of life… They are willing to put in the time, to give the attention, to create the fun and funny memories, to create traditions, to do special gestures outside of the routine, to create special moments that highlight what is important.
Celebrating birthdays, anniversaries, Valentine’s Day and the rest of the holidays by adding something special for your partner shows your partner they are your person… Your partner should not be treated like everybody else and obviously not worse, which unfortunately happens too often…
So- Valentine’s Day is just another opportunity to do something special for your partner. Ok? Ok.
And hey, I get that figuring out what to do for fun, what to do for Date Night, and how to woo your partner for Valentine’s Day and otherwise can leave most partners at a loss. Delighting your partner can be such a pleasure for them and for you…
Let me show you how to be Delighting…
Delighting Your Partner
Delighting your partner has to do with doing gestures that touch their heart. Plain and simple. We can go completely out of our way to do something for our partner but if they don’t want it, like it or appreciate it, we are just wasting our time.
It is very easy for us to think of what is best for our partner and to think we know what they need, according to us. But most of the time when we are coming from this place, we are just in their circle (owning them, crossing boundaries, codependently caretaking) and not really being delighting…
The key to Delighting our partner has to do with giving them what they would like because they’ve told us or from what we know about them (not from a caretaking place). If getting the nuance here is challenging, refer toother boundary setting and ownership work.
Even after that distinction it might still be challenging to think of how, and to keep things fresh and interesting.
Some ways to help you come up with ideas is to use your partner’s:
• Practical Needs • Emotional Needs • Love Language • Interests • Idiosyncrasies • Desires • Dreams
You can generate a list of gifts, gestures, activities, and more for each item listed to prime yourself and get the creative juices going. Don’t limit yourself to what you come up with, let this serve as an inspiration and a tickler to generate additional ideas…
Be always on the lookout for what might tickle your partner’s heart.
You don’t have to torture yourself to be super creative and think outside the box for the most special gift ever and the most romantical outing ever. LOL
The key to Delighting your partner is to know your partner and do the things that pleases them…
Other Categories
You can come up with as many other categories as you’d like, and then flesh them out for specific Delighting gestures… For example:
Routine & Sustenance Related – On a recurring basis as a ritual or spontaneously as a treat, do anything from this list or your version of them for your partner
• Breakfast in bed • Morning coffee • Workout shake • Green smoothie or juice • Cut up or baked vegetables for snacking • Salad or other healthy lunch • Healthy midafternoon snack or treat • Flavored tea • Favorite dinner • Decadent dessert
Romancing & Wooing Related – On an ongoing basis, for special occasions, or just because, use these romantical and wooing gestures and activities or your version of them towards your partner (We have a few vendors we like, check them out Here!)
• Fresh flowers bouquets, wreaths, plants • Perfumes, candles, essential oils • Handcrafted chocolates or other delicacies, novelty, or decadent treats • Tickets to events or activities • Gags and pranks • Couple classes (i.e., flower arrangements, cooking, chocolate making, dancing) • Other experiences (i.e., massage and body ritual, food and wine tasting, driving experience) • Being in nature (i.e., hiking, camping, stargazing, fruit picking) • Relationship scrapbooking or music playlisting • Sexy toys, clothing, activities
Delighting your partner doesn’t have to stump you. Just take a moment to don your generous, nurturing and playful vibes and give it a think.
Watch the video for inspiration on embracing Delighting Your Partner… Enjoy!
APPLICATION: Decide to embrace a Relationship Nurturing Practice that includes Delighting Your Partner…
1. Select or identify a Delighting Category you’ll play with this month 2. Flesh out what kind of gestures, activities, and gifting it might include 3. Map out your delivery of this deliciousness throughout the month
Have fun Delighting your partner!
Now think what would happen to your relationship if you did this every month… How is that for a challenge, will you accept it?
Remember, that to have an amazing relationship means, we have to create an amazing relationship… Here is to yours!
Wishing you all the joy, connection and love today and always…
With Much Love & Light!
PS: Masterclasses
🌟 This month’s Masterclass
Relationship Enrichment Mini Retreat- Connect More Deeply, Rekindle Your Love Keeping the love alive is not easy. Relationship slumps are common, but they don’t have to do you in.
Come learn how to recharge your relationship and rekindle your love. Includes Recording and gorgeous Workbook of transformational processes Register HERE
🌟 If you missed the embracing a Self-Love Practice Masterclass, you can still get it through our Member Center with a Lifestyle Membership!
A Self-Love Strategy for Creating Your Best Life- Stop Self-Sabotage, Increase Resilience, and Generate More Joy
Includes Recording and gorgeous Workbook of transformational processes Enroll HERE
Copyright (c) 2022 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com
Happy Love Month! This is when things can begin to look up. It is up to us to grab the possible new vibe… It is up to us to create a new vibe… Will you continue to feel exhausted, burnt out, unmotivated and blah?
Or will you replenish yourself with a rich Self-Love Practice and set the right tune for the year? Will you generate lovely notes to fill your heart and share it with others? Will you be open to giving and receiving more love in your relationship? Connection Habits help enhance or rekindle love…
Partners operate as if once they have a commitment from each other that the relationship box can be checked off.
Because we finally found our Soulmate (our best possible match for us now with all the potential in the universe), it doesn’t mean that we can now move on to other projects or life endeavors…
This is the furthest thing from what we should be doing (yes, I’m using the word should– that’s how important this is!). If we don’t make a commitment to be fully invested in our relationship from now till we choose otherwise, we won’t have a choice about it eventually… If we don’t invest in our relationship, if we don’t nurture it, it could get so bad we’d be running for the hills, or living a very unhappy life…
Our relationship is like a garden, if we don’t water it, it withers and dies…
Most partners have no clue how to Nurture their relationship, especially if they are struggling or going through a slump. Nurturing our relationship doesn’t have to be this illusive concept and challenging effort…
The easiest way to strengthen your bond, deepen your connection, and enhance or rekindle your love is through Connection Habits.
Connection Habits
When partners think about how to improve or uplevel their relationship, they often find themselves at a loss.
There are many factors at play in our relationship that make it challenging for us to figure out where to start to make things better… A lot of times our efforts are Band-Aids on dirty wounds. Even the best of intentions are taken the wrong way and do more harm than good. But this is not as hopeless as it seems. The key is to first plant a flag to stop spinning, and then go from there.
What is this flag? This has to do with having a Relationship Enrichment Mindset™… If our mindset is messed up about our relationship (or relationships in general!) and about our partner, we are starting off on the wrong foot. Therefore, the best thing to do is to address our mindset…
With an upgraded relationship mindset, the universe is the limit!
Your Bond is the Essence of your relationship. This is what makes you feel like you are in a relationship, that you belong, that you are not alone, that somebody has your back, that you are a Partnership.
Connection Habits in this area have to do things like staying in touch, checking-in, sharing, debriefing, doing caring or caretaking activities.
II. Connection Habits for Deepening Your Connection
After a while relationships tend to go south or flat if the partners have not intentionally addressed concerns and patterns and if they haven’t nurtured each other and the relationship. It is very easy to feel disconnected from our partner. We might go through the basic motions of being in a relationship, but if the interactions remain superficial based on the mundane we start to feel less connected…
Connection Habits in this area have to do with having deeper and more meaningful interactions like processing triggers, discussing life, sharing desires, wishes, dreams, developing traditions, having planning sessions
III. Connection Habits for Enhancing or Rekindling Your Love
If we neglect the relationship and our partner, the love does fade away (sorry, don’t shoot the messenger!)… Love is a verb, it is not a noun… When we are not loving we can’t feel love… For us to feel the love for our partner, we have to cultivate it. The more we cultivate the more we harvest… This is also true for if you are not feeling romantic love for your partner or if you believe you “fell out of love”…
Connection Habits in this area have to do with doing the loving, wooing, and charming gestures that are fun or romantic, spark joy, create memories, have a ritualistic aspect, touches the other’s heart, makes the other feel special and cherished…
We can easily stay on a path to creating a successful relationship and epic love with our partner by intentionally and systematically being nurturing with Connection Habits…
Watch the video for inspiration on establishing Connection Habits… Enjoy!
APPLICATION: This Month of Love step up your game nurturing your relationship and your partner.
💗Depending on the current state or feel of your relationship, decide where your relationship could use an infusion of Connection Habits:
• Strengthening Your Bond • Deepening Your Connection • Enhancing or Rekindling your Love
You can add one habit per category for a balanced approach, or focus on one of the categories with more habits to really upgrade that area.
💗Decide what kind of feelings you’d like to feel and what kind of feel you’d like the relationship to have, and design your habit/s with the intention of generating those feelings.
💗Integrate the habit/s into your daily, weekly, monthly routines to automate nurturing your relationship…
Have fun design and integrating habits that tickle your hearts!
It doesn’t have to take work to nurture your relationship and show your partner love. Implementing a Connection Habits Tactic takes all the effort out of creating a loving and joyous relationship!
Here is to much connection and love this month and the rest of the year!
Wishing you all the joy, connection and love today and always…
With Much Love & Light!
PS: If you missed the Self-Love Masterclass, you can still get it through our Member Center with a Lifestyle Membership!
A Self-Love Strategy for Creating Your Best Life Stop Self-Sabotage, Increase Resilience, and Generate More Joy Includes Recording and gorgeous Workbook of transformational processes Enroll HERE
Copyright (c) 2022 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com
As we are wrapping up January and turn towards the month of Love, things begin to look up… The mad pressure to hit the ground running in January and kicking off the year with a bang, is now behind us.
We can now truly embrace more self-compassion and set the right tone for the upcoming year… As we’ve been trying to be gentler with ourselves despite the New Year pressure, today’s Self-Love aspect drives this point home- let’s Embrace Self-Connection and Radiance.
Self-Connection is one of the 4 Aspects of Self-Love we are working on to help us start the New Year right…
Self-Connection is about having a strong relationship with ourselves- with fully knowing and accepting all our parts, with having our own back, with being more present, with keeping our own company, with nurturing ourselves.
When we are connected with our Self, we are never alone… When we are connected with our Self, we are knowing… When we are connected with our Self, we are purposeful… When we are connected with our Self, we are inspired… When we are connected with our Self, we are radiant…
When we are connected with our Self, we are steady, powerful, unstoppable, brilliant…
This is the state we want to cultivate, as this is the Sparkle in our life. This is how our Journey is more than a grind…
Self-Connection and Radiance
Being in Connection with our Highest Self is our Soul’s directive if you may… When we are not in connection with our Self, we are banging around grinding through our life in our meat suit, aimlessly and exhaustingly, till we are six feet under. This is not the way to live!
When we are in Connection with our Highest Self, we embody our full Being, pursue our calling, embrace a full Human Experience that includes intentionally evolving… This is how we Radiate our Brilliance…
This is what makes us unique, special, magnificent, extraordinary, and exceptional. This is who we really are… Let’s embrace ourselves once and for all, shall we?
I. Fully knowing and accepting all our parts
We are complex human beings that have many parts that make up who we are. Not only do we have different aspects to our conscious self that make up our personality, but we have all sorts of parts that are subconscious that we are not aware of. These parts make up the bulk of who we are, and are the puppeteers behind the scenes… It behooves us to learn ourselves better in all regards to become more whole and who we truly are…
II. Having our own back
Nobody cares more about ourselves than ourselves… When we don’t love ourselves well enough, or take care of ourselves, that’s what we put out and that’s the kind of relationship/s and life we create… When we are not in touch with our Self and our needs, we don’t have our own back and therefore we feel alone and ravished…
It behooves us to own our needs and take care of them to ensure we are OK and have the opportunity to play full out…
III. Being more present
We are so used to all the noise in our lives that the mere thought of silence freaks us out. And, this is for the external world. The same goes for our internal world. We are SO noisy inside our heads.
We are even noisy in our bodies… How we set up our experience and environments, the information we consume, the thoughts we choose to have, and even the food and other substances we choose to consume all generate different levels of noise… This distracts us from our Self…
It behooves us to quiet down and become more present to authentically show up and be available for our life…
IV. Keeping our own company
Most people can’t stand it to be alone or to do things alone. And, if we are alone, we are super engaged with busyness and the noise we create in our lives… We don’t know how to keep our own company and savor being with ourselves. We miss out on the opportunity of enjoying our own company and experiencing our Beingness. We squander the opportunity for connecting more deeply with ourselves and truly knowing ourselves…
It behooves us to have experiences by ourselves to fully take them in, savor them and enrich more who we are…
V. Nurturing ourselves
Nurturing ourselves is how we show ourselves we know we are special. It’s a form of personal validation. When we neglect, or even mistreat ourselves, we sabotage our Human Experience and create a much more challenging life than is necessary…
If we don’t resource ourselves, but are constantly depleting ourselves instead, how are we to have a life full of energy, vitality, health, wellness, and longevity? Most don’t take care of the basic needs, never mind going the extra mile to make the Journey more exquisite…
It behooves us to sprinkle in the luxuries and the treats for a fuller Human Experience…
Self-Connection is the most neglected aspect of our Self-Love Practice and such a detriment to our wellbeing, our ability to create our Best Life and have our Best Human Experience…
Watch the video for more on these 5 Tactics to help you more easily embrace Self-Connection… Enjoy!
APPLICATION: If Self-Love was a cake, it’d be made of the first 3 Aspects (Self-Honoring, Self-Management, and Self-Care), and it would have Self-Connection as the icing. This is what makes the whole thing. 😋
We all need to have our cake to live a delicious life, a life well lived!
Review which Tactic in this Aspect resonates the most for you and complete the related process below…
I. Fully knowing and accepting all our parts – In your Journal, on a clean page, draw a circle. Divide the circle into 8 equal slices using horizontal, vertical, and diagonal lines, for a pizza effect.
In each slice capture different Parts of yourself, not roles you have but personality-like parts. Try to capture as many sides of yourself as possible, negative and positive, that you can see. Group characteristics as you see fit.
Then, identify what Parts you would like to have that you don’t already have or don’t recognize in yourself and add them to any available slices.
Finally, create two new Habits: One to counter a negative characteristic you’d like to eliminate, and another to cultivate a positive characteristic you’d like to embrace… This is how we own and evolve ourselves…
II. Having our own back – In your Journal, capture a stream of consciousness about your state- how you are feeling, what’s working, what’s not working, what pleases you, what annoys you and the like… Write for a couple of pages until you feel you have captured your current state (+/- a couple of days…). Go back to what you wrote and identify any themes.
Now, select the theme that is torturing you the most and address it with a conversation, new habit, environment tweak, additional support, etc. Make sure you address whatever need is screaming for attention.
III. Being more present – In your Journal, capture a day in the life (your life obviously). Then review it for your level of presence throughout the day…
-Do you have any mindfulness practices -Do you take intentional breaks? -Do you protect your focus from distractions? -Do you make time to connect and attune with loved ones? -Do you check-in with yourself about how you are doing and what you might need? -Do you consume inspiring and positive content? -Do you consume clean and nutritious food? -Do you minimize the noise in your life?
Rate yourself from 1-10 for how present you are daily, with 10 being super present (quite…).
Commit to increasing your score by a certain amount by a certain time, and identify a change you’ll make to achieve it: Routine tweak, new habit, better boundaries, more support, etc.
IV. Keeping our own company – Unless you are a complete introvert, you most likely have a hard time being alone… And this is true if you are an introvert as well where even if you are alone you are otherwise engaged… You are not keeping your own company…
When we are in constant interaction, with others and otherwise engaged, we don’t get to know, see and honor our Self… We don’t get to Connect with our Self…
Take stock of how often you keep your own company… Where you are engaging with your Self… I bet it’s almost never…
Let’s change that!
-Select a time in your weekly routine where you have Me Time… -Block off this time, create a recurring event for it, and protect it going forward… -Make a list of activities, you’d like to do by yourself keeping your own company… -Ahead of time, pull from this list to do during your Me Time. Complete any planning if your activities requires any scheduling, setting up, etc. This can be part of your Reset for the upcoming week.
Make sure nothing gets in the way of having an amazing time with You!
V. Nurturing ourselves – And this is the Sparklers on our cake! From the first Tactic in the first Aspect to this point, the focus has primarily been on making sure we honor and take care of ourselves well and to the fullest extent to ensure we can do famously in our Journey…
This Tactic is about adding more joy, fun, experiences and indulgences to make the journey more worthwhile!
-Make a list of the little things that give you joy.
Here are a few of mine that I grabbed from just my morning routine…
-Then, make a list of experiences you want to have, Bucket List like.
-Finally, make a list of indulgences, little and big luxuries, you want to add to your life.
Depending on your lifestyle and Practice, choose a good place to start for you:
-Adding little touches to your daily routine and life -Scheduling monthly experiences during your monthly resets -Planning the integration of more little and big luxuries into your life
Use these Tactics to keep things fresh and recharged in your life!
Voila! This brings us to the conclusion of our Self-Love Practice. We have covered a lot of ground in the past few weeks. You now have 20 Targeted Tactics to help you embrace a Self-Love Practice and help you upgrade your life!
A Self-Love Practice allows us to have better relationships with others…. More about creating amazing relationships next month!
Wishing you much joy, connection and love today and always…
With Much Love & Light!
PS: WEBINAR MASTERCLASS!
A Self-Love Strategy for Creating Your Best Life-
Stop Self-Sabotage, Increase Resilience, and Generate More Joy
Includes Recording and gorgeous Workbook of transformational processes!
Copyright (c) 2022 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com
This is about the toughest week of the year… This is when we have Blue Monday, supposedly the saddest day of the year. Bills come in from the holidays, attempts at new habits start falling to the wayside, hibernation is knocking on our door, and things just feel heavy. It’s rough to get going on creating our Best Year Yet… What’s needed is an influx of energy to set us on the right path. The best way to do that is by Embracing Self-Care and Resilience…
Self-Care is one of the 4 Aspects of Self-Love we are working on to help us start the New Year right…
Self-Care is about taking good care of ourselves- with having a wholistic self-care practice that generates vitality, health and wellbeing.
There are a lot of definitions and information out there about how to do a Self-Care Practice. My Self-Care Practice is on steroids and became the Self-Love Practice we’ve been working on… LOL
I like to look at Self-Care as solely the activities that nourish and take care of our body and wellbeing: Sleep, exercise, nutrition/supplementation/hydration, grooming/hygiene and relaxation/mindfulness.
When we give these activities the proper attention, we are taking care of our “meat suit”, our human vehicle, so that it allows us to have a beautiful, full and long human experience…
When we take proper care of ourselves, we slowdown the aging process, we increase our health, vitality, longevity and ability to truly enjoy our life. Who wants to get to an advanced age and be decrepit? Or, worse be decrepit now or have a short-lived life?
Having a rich Self-Care Practice allows us to have boundless energy and larger bandwidth, be healthy and fit, look and feel amazing, have more focus and stamina, and the ability for higher performance in all areas of our life.
A rich Self-Care Practice gives us the ability to feel happy and joyous more consistently, to better self-regulate and to be less triggerable… It helps with our wellbeing and resilience…
Watch the video for Tactics to uplevel the 5 Pillars of your Self-Care Practice… Enjoy!
APPLICATION: Some see self-care as a mysterious concept and have the mindset that only privileged or lazy people can afford it. They might consider it a luxury or a waste of time to do things to take care of themselves… Or, they truly believe they don’t have the resources for it… If this is you, I challenge you to consider that you can’t afford not to invest in taking care of yourself…
You don’t have to invest a tremendous amount of resources doing self-care tactics, you just need to make targeted investments to get the results you want.
STEP 1 – Decide what is it you want in terms of your fitness, health, and wellness. How are you doing in these areas and how would you like them to be, how would you like to feel?
Take stock of your energy level, mood, health, fitness, and appearance. What can use some upleveling?
STEP 2 – Review the Pillars below and choose one to focus on that will address the area you want to target and that will give you the most immediate results.
Depending on your current state and lifestyle, you might need to start with the basics, or you might want more advanced and nuanced strategies.
I provide a range of ideas here to get you going, feel free to do additional research to take charge of the Pillar you identify as your current focus.
Pillar 1 – Sleep: Research shows that most people are sleep deprived. When sleep is the thing that detoxes and cleans, repairs and heals, and recharges us. We tend to short-change ourselves when it comes to sleep.
At the end of the day, it’s not really about the amount of sleep but the quality of sleep you get that allows you to go through all the sleep cycles several times a night to get the most benefit from your sleep.
The key is to have good Sleep Hygiene:
💤 Reverse engineer what time you want to get up in the morning, and back up to what time you’d need to go to bed to get up at that time while giving you an average of 7 hours of sleep.
💤 Start shifting gears for sleep two hours before your bedtime – no food, drinks, blue light
💤 Start your night routine at least 30 min before you want to be asleep – account for all the things you want to do before you fall asleep…
Like: Prepping for the next day, doing your skin care routine, activating your soothing bedroom environment, gratitude journaling, connecting with your partner, reading
💤 Commit to lights out and shutting down by your sleep time
💤 Set your alarm to wake you up at the time your chose and turn off snooze, get up when your alarm goes off
Pillar 2 – Exercise: You might be doing everything right, but if you are not exercising you won’t achieve your fitness, health and wellness goals… Which are needed to support the rest of the goals in our life and to truly live a well-lived life…
There are tons of myths about exercise, and exercising as we used to understand exercising is more harmful than good. For example, spending hours doing cardio to lose weight has proven to be an ineffective tactic (you lose muscle mass which slows down your metabolism)…
What seems to be better supported is a combination of:
🏃♀️ High Intensity Interval Training (HIIT) 🏋️♀️ Resistance Training 🧘♀️ Flexibility Training
You can create a basic workout routine that incorporates all 3 per workout session or on rotation that makes sense for your life and that is enjoyable for you.
And you can choose what types of activities to do for each. You can put in as much or a little into this as you wish as long as you cover your basics.
*Consult your doctor if you have any medical conditions.
Pillar 3 – Nutrition, Supplementation and Hydration: The key here is to understand your goal and to feed yourself accordingly in a nutritious and healthy manner… There are so many ways of eating and so many different diet protocols and they all contradict each other- your head can explode trying to figure out how to eat…
My suggestion is that if you are just now beginning to take charge of your consumption that you start small and with the basics:
🤩Reduce your caloric intake- consume calories in relation to how you spend calories, reduce to a reasonable intake that still provides you with enough energy and nutrition (for women an average of 1500 cal/day does the trick but do your own research to match your situation)
🥙Eat cleaner- just stop eating all the processed foods and junk, and greatly reduce your alcohol consumption!
🥗Step it up to even cleaner eating- reduce any inflammatory foods you recognize your body doesn’t like (bloat, pimples, constipation, foggy brain, etc.)- like gluten, dairy, soy, eggs, peanuts/other nuts, corn, cruciferous vegetables, beans, nightshade vegetables, sweeteners, onion/garlic, caffeine (increases cortisol levels!).
📞Consult a nutritionist or functional doctor– get specific guidance if you are lost, confused or need additional support for creating a plan that works for you and your body… And for proper supplementation.
💧Hydrate, hydrate, hydrate- Shoot for 32 to 64 onz (1 to 2 liters) of water per day and you can step it up as you desire… I’ve been using this bottle to give me a visual of how I’m doing…
*Consult your doctor if you have any medical conditions.
Pillar 4 – Grooming and Hygiene: This is totally a personal choice of course. But I have it here as part of taking care of our body. A groomed body looks better, is more youthful and lasts longer…
👁Taking care of our skin, hair, teeth, eyes (hydrating with eyedrops helps maintain good vision!), etc. goes a long way.
💄Minding our products is super important as we try to become radiant from the inside out and minimize the toxins we put in our bodies…
🧹Adding a detoxing routine is a great practice – like body rolling, face rolling and skin brushing.
Pillar 5 – Relaxation and Mindfulness: Can you believe that we forget to breathe? LOL
We might shallow-breath to get air in for survival, but in general we don’t breathe well. We don’t get enough clean air circulating through our body.
Additionally, we don’t stop to smell the roses. We are always on go mode or mindlessly taking a break or so called relaxing.
We don’t properly restore, recharge and rejuvenate.
Our daily routine needs to include practices for being present and grounded, intentional breaks, and restorative activities like:
• Meditation • Visualization • Breath Work • Taking a break from our computer and other devices • Stretching • Connection calls • Pursuing an interest or hobby
Regardless of where you are with your Self-Care Practice, it’s always nice to shake things up, spruce them up and uplevel them. Focus on the Pillar that makes the most sense for you to address first, then tackle the rest as you make progress.
Don’t take all this on at once. It can be very overwhelming to make so many changes at once, and you won’t be able to fully integrate them into your life if you start slipping up (which you will if you do too much at once).
Once you selected your Pillar, do the research, set up the routines, set up the supportive environments, put all the things in place to help you work your Pillar.
Have fun with this. This is a lifelong pursuit. Enjoy the process!
Wishing you much joy, connection and love today and always…
With Much Love & Light!
Copyright (c) 2022 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com
Are you feeling like you are moving slow getting the New Year and your Best Year Yet started? The first couple of weeks of the year are always rough. Either we overcommit to new stuff to create our new life, or we just can’t seem to get it together to get moving… Either way we are not properly approaching the changes we want to make to get the results we want… But there is a better way and that’s Embracing Self-Management and Flow…
Self-Management is one of the 4 Aspects of Self-Love: Self-Honoring and Being Self-Management and Flow Self-Care and Resilience Self-Connection and Radiance
Self-Management has to do with taking full responsibility for ourselves- with learning how to properly manage ourselves and strive for excellence and high performance. It is about flowing through our days creating our Best Life…
Embracing Self-Management in our Self-Love Practice allows us to truly have our own back and support ourselves in our Journey…
Self-Management is a multifaceted endeavor, it includes managing our thoughts, feelings, behaviors, energy, time, space, and everything else…
For the purpose of our Self-Love Practice, I’m honing-in on how we set up and go about our days to effortlessly achieve our goals, experience joy and fully live our life.
Watch the video for 5 Tactics for managing yourself… Enjoy!
APPLICATION: Self-Management is a super skill. When we manage ourselves well, we are unstoppable! Here are tactics to help you easily start better managing yourself for more high-performance, productivity, and flow… Let your Core Values guide you as you work through this exercise.
Set some time aside to Design the Life You Want to Live…
🌟Time Mapping – Decide how you want your weeks to flow… Design your Ideal Week. Designate days with themes and part of the days for different Life Areas. For example:
–You can have writing or content creation days, client days, meeting days, admin days and such.
–You can have Self-Love/Me Time, Couple Time, Family Time, Chores Time, you get my drift.
This guides where you add your commitments in your calendar, where you focus your attention and what you work on, and helps you manage how you use your time, energy, and bandwidth… This is a one-time exercise that you tweak as you see fit.
🌟Time Blocking – Now, within your Time Map, you get to drill-in how you use any given time. You designate time chunks for tasks and commitments. This is a weekly task where you plop in what you want to work on and accomplish into specific times of your week.
Be sure to judiciously block time including buffer time and transition time. We want to allow for context shifting and build in grace for when things don’t work out as planned. This ensures more flow and ease in your days…
–This is a great activity to do on Friday before the closedown for the day, so you are ready for the next week and avoid the Sunday Scaries (AKA Sundaynitis in my home). Or, a Saturday Morning Reset activity, or a Sunday Afternoon Reset activity. Whatever makes sense for your life.
Decide when you’ll do your weekly Reset with Time Blocking. Add it to your calendar as a recurring event…
🌟Routines – This is my favorite. When we create rich routines, we can make any change we desire in our life. We don’t change in a vacuum. Creating change is very challenging and routines provide the context where the change can happen. It reduces friction, creates support and motivation. The things you are trying to do happen automatically without you having to white-knuckle your way.
–Choose a time of day where you and your family experience the most stress, where most conflict happens, where everyone ends up crying, yelling or both, or where you’d like to add more richness for a better life… This usually includes mornings, evenings, and bedtime, and other transition times like Friday evening, Sunday evening, before and after vacations or trips, and such.
–And, in terms of adding richness: Self-Care/Love Routine, Bedtime Routine, Skin Care Routine, Food Prep, Family Night, Couple Time, Date Your Partner, etc.
–Select your time by activity to improve, richness to integrate, most stressful to eliminate, by whatever you’d like to tackle first that will have the most immediate impact in your life…
Then design a routine that will address the friction and issues you encounter. For example, choose a time to start transitioning to the evening routine and what does that entail- daily review, organize for next day, closedown technology/work, connect with family members, discuss timing of next activity, start meal prep, etc.
Once you design the look and feel, tweak your schedule/calendar and your environments (declutter, layout stuff, set reminders, send notices, and such) to support your design…
🌟Habits – These are the ingredients of your routines!
Depending on what segment of the day or routine you are targeting to create more ease in your life, you can implement new habits to make that routine or time of day work better.
AND, to achieve your goals, you must have repeating targeted behaviors, tactics or habits to go along with them. Goals are achieved through taking consistent action…
—Health/Wellness Habits do very well as part of a morning self-care routine and part of weekend reset routine (meal planning, food shopping, food prep).
—Connections Habits do well as part of transitions, evening routines, and weekend routines.
—Success Habits do well as part of targeted work time blocks…
🌟Special Days – These are the exceptions to your routines and the sparkle sprinkles! Think of different ways of playing hooky if you may. LOL These are theme days to take care of things and enjoy things outside your regular routines.
–Specials days can be used as: Fun Day, Me Day, Mommy-Daughter Day (or other family combos), Adventure Day, Admin Day, Reset Day, Shoot Day, Lazy Day, and so on.
Make a list of all the Special Days that would make sense and that you would enjoy in your life. Then add them to your calendar as recurring events or keep as things to be scheduled during reset or planning days.
And that is the powerful way of taking charge of your days and creating the flavor of your life.
Wishing you much joy, connection and love today and always…
With Much Love & Light!
Copyright (c) 2022 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com
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Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT has been in the mental health profession in varying capacities for the past 20+ years. She is the Founder and Director of metrorelationship.com a psychotherapy and coaching practice specializing in working with busy professional and entrepreneurial couples who are struggling getting on the same page and feeling connected. The work helps couples create a radiant and successful relationship and meaningful life by becoming a strong partnership and increasing their connection, intimacy, and fun. Emma is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Relationship Strategy™.
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